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Thread: No friends left.. This is the only place left.

  1. #26
    AKA Lexi Read only sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I get down sometimes, myself. Then I remember something I saw on TV. It was about a gay character, who worked in a conservative republican political party. When asked how he could possibly support that group, his answer? 'Yes, I'm gay. But that's not all that I am'. And being a crossdresser isn't all that we are, either.

    So yes, I'm a crossdresser. But that isn't what I let be the main thing that defines me, even though most other people would definitely use it as the primary descriptor whenever they think of me, if they knew. So, I just don't tell them. It's none of their business. I have interests that don't involve crossdressing. I meet friendly people there, share plenty of good times. And sure, life would be nicer if I didn't have to avoid mentioning anything about my gender struggles, but that's just the way life is. And we have to make do with what we have, and what we are.

    Alice, I know you're financially strapped a lot. But surely there are things you can do where you can meet other people that share some type of interests. There are all kinds of things in the world that people do for fun that don't cost a lot of money. Interested in the election at all? Contact the local support group for your favorite candidate; you're guaranteed to meet SOMEONE who feels the same as you do on some topics (I'm doing this currently, and most of the people there are much younger, and their energy rubs off on me). Like kids? See if there's a local library or somewhere where you can read them books. Boy scouts? You don't have to be a real outdoorsman to do that, the other scoutmasters each have specialties, all you have to be is basically handy. Have any skills? Use them. Out of work? Hire yourself out to do simple domestic stuff for singles who work. I hated having to dust and do all the simple chores around the house. Do it for a few spare bucks off the books. I think you'd be surprised that you have skills that you can use. Do you still have a car? You can hire yourself out to take people without cars, to the market or stores, or pick up their kids after school. No, you won't get rich, but as you now know, a few dollars can make a big difference.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  2. #27
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    When i lived in the Seattle area, I was a caretaker for a Quadriplegic man, for a year, while still doing m new construction window washing. Burned out. took care of an amputee old lady. Stayed with a lady with early Alzhiemer's, found her accidentally starting a fire,in the fireplace, with the air damper shut. Smoke filled the house. Gave rides to people to church, then, too. Did store inventories for a charity, worked selling concessions at Seahawks games in the old Kingdome, in the 1980's for a charity. I have done a lot, but helping keep up my dad's 3 acres, and helping with him, and now, my sister, a lot, as she is handicapped with dystonia, and severe speech impediment, losing body coodination, too. Yes, it would be good it i did more, with other peopkle. i would sure like to play basketball, and softball or baseball again, but knees are not so good(except in hose!) Good people are harder to find in these times, to. I am very cautious now days. It is the best of times, and the worst of times.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  3. #28
    Member DonnaP's Avatar
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    Alice don't get the sun will be out tomorrow with more chances to make new and better friends. I and the rest of the community are for you support

  4. #29
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    Sherri, Thank you much for the tips, and concern. I must say, that i am only helping part time now, and the problem is my control freak brother is here, let out of prison a while back, and codependent, fusion family worhipping sister, who has severe speech impediment, and gets very angry when i cannot understand her. It is a multiple front war here. I plan on going to a 12 step Codependents Anonymous meeting Saturday morning, in Rockford ILL . My brother and sister are the big problems now, not so much my dad. I expect a battle over the will after he's in the grave, and i just want all this hell to end someday. I have seen other people go through hell with family, too, when a parent dies. But my sister, and brothers are unusually toxic, and controlling. A fusion family is where parents were anti social, taught the kids to be, and to not have friends or lives of their own, yet expect the kids to be there for them always, even if it means never have friends, of mates. Very bizarre.
    Well, that is a bit different scenario than I had understood. Sounds like you're in for a long stretch of as much crap as you're willing to put up with. At some point you have to own your own destiny, girl.

  5. #30
    Banned Read only SamanthaLouiseScott's Avatar
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    Alice, life is a run of ups and downs and the support is here!

    take care.

  6. #31
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    Hang in there Alice! A kind, caring and understanding therapist can be an immense help........could even be a lifesaver! Preferably one who specifies in, handles and understands crossdresser/trans issues.
    Lisa

  7. #32
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Lisa, I go to a VA therapist, but it is only every two or three months.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  8. #33
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Alice I believe you have my number and you can call me any time my friend. If not send me a PM. Be well.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  9. #34
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Alice. I realize that infrequent visits to a therapist don't accomplish much but, I also understand, that a therapist is not always a "cure-all", "be-all" for all problems or issues. Besides, when it comes to crossdressing, not all that many therapists, as a whole, even understand or can sympathize. On some occasions they can even make things worse! However, you have a family and strong support system here who are always happy, willing and able to help you in any way we can. All you ever need do is ask!

    You said your gay friend disowned you? I'm really sorry to hear that. I had a gay co-worker/friend who would not even associate with or give the time of day to crossdressers (his very own words)! He also said that the vast majority of the gay community doesn't like, trust or wish to associate with crossdressers. Even they don't understand or like us! In "normal" society and even under the "trans" umbrella, we, the garden-variety crossdressers, are the bottom-feeders. In fact, some within the trans community itself feel that we don't even belong under the trans umbrella, that we are only loosely "lumped-in" because society doesn't know where else to put us. Simple, plain-jane crossdressers are still the most misunderstood, mistrusted and disliked in society as a whole (actual words from a very good and understanding therapist I saw a few years ago).

    We still have a long way to go so we NEED a place like this where we can share our stories and give & receive sympathy, advice and understanding! You are in good hands!
    Last edited by lisa_vin; 06-04-2016 at 02:50 PM.
    Lisa

  10. #35
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    The last two times i helped, he had bowell movements. Quite the pucky mess. Lisa Vin, An update. I finally heard from my gay friend 2000 miles away, and he has not disowned me. He just cannot understand why a man would want to wear women's things.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 06-05-2016 at 03:57 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

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