Coming out tomorrow

[flatlander_48]

So come on, girls, you who are neither TS nor fetishistic or autogynephilic crossdressers, help enlighten us a bit more about the diversity of our community.

I identify as bisexual and transgender, but I have no plans to transition. Whatever degree of dysphoria that I have is not enough to warrant transition.

When I started dressing, I had very little of the shame and guilt that people talk about. Basically you could measure it in minutes, and not many at that. I felt very comfortable in the clothes; like I had tapped into some other life. It wasn't that I was being pushed away from the masculine. Rather, I was being pulled towards the feminine. Further, it never felt like a different persona. That's not how it works for me. It is really one persona with mostly male, but definitely some female, traits.

Our LGBT employee affinity group has had a Fall community entertainment event for the past 12-13 years. For the last 6 we've brought in comedians from the LGBT community. We've had Suzanne Westenhoefer (2x), Alec Mapa from Ugly Betty, Marga Gomez, regional favorites The Calamari Sisters and last October our first transgender performer, Ian Harvie from Transparent. That inspired me to volunteer to do the MC function as DeeAnn. Corning, NY is about 12,000 people. As my son grew up there, I realized that I needed to come out to him (age 34). Even though he had not lived in Corning for some time, he still knew people here in town and you never know who would show up for the event. I came out to my daughter (age 40) a couple of weeks later. She has never really lived in Corning as she started college shortly after we moved. I wasn't worried about her hearing the news from someone else, but since I told her brother, it didn't seem right not to tell her. So, DeeAnn appeared in from of ~130 people. I also did 2 presentations about transgenderism where I wasn't dressed, but presented a photo. All totaled, 200+ people now know about DeeAnn. There is a thread with the whole story. It is a thread started by me with Ian Harvie in the Title.

So, there is the question of Why. As you age, your thoughts and priorities change. I was 67 last December and frankly, the older I got, the less I seemed to care. It also seemed important to me to present the message that everyone who identifies as transgender is not looking to transition. There was some discussion earlier about putting a face on things. That was also a consideration for me. And last, but not least, I knew that I was going to retire a few months later and move from New York State to California. Sort of a Perfect Storm, in a way.

DeeAnn

[Claudia D]

Congratulations on letting your in-laws and family know!


I'm just a guy who likes to wear "women's" clothes. I don't want to transition or have sex with men. My thought is that there should not be different sides of the store for
different genders. If you like it wear it!

I went to see "Me Before You" and just fell in love with the main female characters clothes and impractical shoes!!

There are a lot of variations on why people with male bodies dress up in women's clothes. You have mentioned only two of those: transgender M-to-F people, and men who crossdress as a sexual act. I know a lot about the latter--crossdressing was always a sexual turn-on for me--even when I was too young to know what a sexual turn-on was. And I felt just as you do about coming out of the closet as a crossdresser--my sex acts were not for everyone to know about. But I also know that there are other men for whom crossdressing has other meanings and motivations. I won't try to speak for them.

So come on, girls, you who are neither TS nor fetishistic or autogynephilic crossdressers, help enlighten us a bit more about the diversity of our community.

[Stephanie47]

Glad it went well for you. The only word of caution I would offer is to keep it toned down around the kids. I've seen men on the street wearing plaid skirts that are NOT kilts. The rest of their clothing is totally male. No makeup. No wig. No boobs. I think it would become rather confusing to young kids to see their father "dressed to the nines."

[Katya@]

when I started I was too young for it to be sexual, in my late teens through thirties there was a fetish component but there was more gender stuff going on and now there's pretty much no fetish aspect. I've concluded the root driver is gender identity cross wiring. .

This is exactly me!

I've seen men on the street wearing plaid skirts that are NOT kilts. The rest of their clothing is totally male. No makeup. No wig. No boobs. I think it would become rather confusing to young kids to see their father "dressed to the nines."

This is me too! One exception - I started growing my hair almost two years ago. Long hair, no wig - simple.

Maybe because I don't transform in front of my kids / wife, it is a non-event.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Here's the part I don't get. If you are transgender, or planning to transition, then your friends and family need to be prepared, or given a heads up. I get that. But if you are heterosexual, and just a crossdresser for the turn on, and someone knows about it, why do they have to see you? Why do you have to come out to anyone? If you are heterosexual, then crossdressing is a part of your sex life, and I fail to see why anyone needs to know about it. You wouldn't gather the family or your friends together to discuss some other aspect of your sex life, so why discuss crossdressing with anyone?

First of all. I thought you are "outta here" in your own words. Second of all, if you don't get something, maybe you shouldn't pass judgment on me saying that I made mistake. It is obvious that you look at crossdressing via very narrow window, It is NOT a sexual fetish for everyone else outside of those who feel the need to transition. It is not sexual for me either, and I have 0 desire to transition. All it does, it helps me to balance my inner me with the way I see myself in the mirror. And I don't need wig, boobs. and makeup for that. I can't believe you have not read hundreds of posts / replies from people here like me.

[LaurenS]

MelanieAnn, your comments leave many readers the impression that society norms don't change, and that acceptance of someone wanting to express themselves will never happen - indeed is even dangerous and/or damaging.

Do I have that correct?