So many posts about "Why do I crossdress". My question is why should we care?

[Mykaa]

Lucy you just defined my ex, "They choose to blame all the problems in a relationship on the "issue" that their partner has. They use crossdressing as a scape goat" I have had to goto court twice because of this,( Exactly This!) let me tell you when you have to sit down with someone you barely know and explain why you do this, no its not real pleasant, but you know what? Im still here and in the end Im a lot stronger because of that. Isolation is chosen not lived, you should try making a friend you can actually talk to instead of just writing on the forum. I have reached out to many people for different reasons , whether it be to help or just be friends, I will never regret reaching out.

[jacques]

hi,
if you were obsessed by eating licorice would you not wonder why and where the obsession started, particularly if it was your guilty secret?
the puzzle about "why do I crossdress?" does seem to be something many of us wish to solve... and then we all add to it by wondering why!
luv J

[ReineD]

The crossdressing sometimes has a negative impact on someone's life, if their partner doesn't accept it, or if they have kids they don't want to tell and they want to sneak out of the house dressed, or if they're afraid they will suffer negative consequences should friends, family members, or coworkers find out. Such a CDer might want to figure out where it comes from if he is looking for ways to control it to diminish any potential negative impact.

Also some people experience such strong needs to dress that they wonder if they are TS and they should transition, which is a difficult decision to make. This is a strong reason for wanting to get into it more deeply than just, "go out there and enjoy".

But, if you're young and either unattached or your partner is into it and you live in a milieu where you are not concerned should people find out, then I agree with you. Just go out there and enjoy it to the fullest!

[MonctonGirl]

As humans, we wonder why we do A LOT of things. Yawn, sleep, hiccup - feel rejection, get goosebumps when afraid or cold.
This one is especially interesting because it can affect our lives in so many ways. We'd like to know what drives the desire or compulsion.

If an abused women understood that it is natural for her to feel safer with a male who can & will hurt her ( because he can protect her from other outside threats ) then she might be able to overcome her unconscious compulsion to answer the question about why she chooses to stay with her abuser with a statement like the very familiar: "I don't know, I love him" and stop getting hurt. Make sense?

If we did not KNOW, 100% for sure, that our crossdressing behavior is in fact wrong and that WE and our BEHAVIOR is abnormal then we'd be having these discussions in public somewhere...or at the table with our families.

wrong - anything that interrupts order - in this case, we interrupt the decision-making process for other people, which is based on gender identification and expected behavior
abnormal - anything that is not within the typical expected range of variables. A large percentage of men would need to adopt & engage in the behavior in order for the abnormal behavior to be deemed normal. What is "large enough? Simple answer: Enough to stand a chance in a physical fight with the majority. ( A very small percentage of men do martial arts, but they stand a better chance of winning against the majority in a fight )

The truly insane are not aware that they are insane. This is the fear of the majority who looks in from outside at crossdressers, gays, transexuals, certain religious groups, Justin Bieber fans, or even bronies (google brony ). See, the most dangerous criminals are the ones who always claim the did nothing wrong.
I say "admit this is wrong and deviant" - like sex outside of marriage.
Note that North America was stronger and there was not such a big welfare drain when marriage was culturally expected and expected to be permanent.
Some thought it was "not wrong" to have sex outside of marriage, but there is now proof that it is.
But people do it anyway.
So - admit this is wrong and abnormal - make your own choice of whether to abstain or indulge

[Dana44]

There is no wrong about it. I have finally come to an understanding about myself. It is what it is and I like to express my feminine side and be the cross-dresser that I am. do I care, well yes but This is who I am and although it may be strange, I push the envelope and live life to the fullest.

[Curiosity666]

So - admit this is wrong and abnormal - make your own choice of whether to abstain or indulge

I will admit that this behaviour is abnormal. I think you'll find that a very large number of the population is abnormal in some way or the other.

However I will not say that it is wrong. A behavior in itself cannot be wrong. You use sex outside of marriage as an example. We say that this is wrong because it breaks the vows of the relationship, destroys trust and is a huge upset to the partner. This is wrong because of the hurt it causes the other person. Hurting someone is wrong.

However what if the couple are polygamous? What if the couple are aware and consenting, or even encouraging of sex outside marriage? Is it wrong then?

In the same sense, crossdressing isn't wrong. You say that it interrupts societies ability to assign gender based on appearance. This is a whole other discussion, but I'll just say that my view is that this also isn't wrong.

Some people act in the wrong way *because* of crossdressing, such as lying, or allowing it to be used as an excuse for poor communication within a relationship. These behaviors are wrong, but crossdressing isn't the cause; despite the number of people that use it an an excuse.

[Samantha_Marie]

I don't really care about the why for me. I try to get as much of that answer so that I can talk to my wife about it. She's the type of person that finds that part of it important. I don't know that there is an answer but anything that I can do to help her is worth it.

[sometimes_miss]

Until science is done that can explain this, there will be no satisfying answer as to "why?"

Perhaps not for you. But that doesn't apply to everyone.

Remember, if you cannot tell someone why you are doing something, they will apply their own reason to you, and you probably won't like the reason they choose. But unless you have a better explanation, they will automatically assume they are right. Let me give you some 'reasons' that the general public has:
1. You're gay.
2. You're gay and in denial
3. You're gay and lying about it
4. You're transsexual.
5. You're transsexual and in denial
6. You're transsexual and lying about it.
OK, there are six common reasons, one of which people will most likely choose to apply to you whether you like it or not, because you offer none. 'I don't know' or 'I was born this way' isn't going to do it. 'The clothes feel better' will be looked on with suspician by any woman because they've been wearing tight fitting stuff for, well, forever and usually don't like it.

Now you know why you need a reason.

I'm not saying you'll be better off telling the real reason; but at least it's a start. Because the above usually aren't going to make you popular with most people.

[sometimes_miss]

Problem is, after you've given them your best thought out answer, they're still going to think one of the six most common reasons.

That hasn't been my experience.

[Curiosity666]

This is the reason I started this thread in the first place. I agree that if you don't offer a thought put explanation then you will be lumped into "one of the six". However what if instead of trying to offer an answer that may not exist within conventional language, you tried to offer my original thoughts in an attempt to change someones thinking? People aren't as stubborn as everyone makes them out to be. Those that *are* that stubborn are that way due to their own faults and close mindedness.