So Ive been thinking, I had my eyebrows waxed yesterday, 1st time. they were just cleaned up, defined I suppose.Im happy with the result. I look in the mirror and I just dont like what I see somedays. I dress and cover myself up and wear things I like. I go out in clothes I like on me. I am very comfortable with certain aspects of this, other things like going out in a dress not so much. I know things take time. I can tell you when you talk to me, your getting me, not some person who enjoys the anonymity of being unseen on the internet. Have you ever wonder what someone else sees? I wonder, am I ugly? am I to forward? Part of my dressing emulates something I think I'll never have. Im not rich, I work hard, Im loyal, am I a good friend? I like to think so. Im not a big guy, Im tall and slender, I view myself as just enough to get someones attention, but not enough to keep it. I wonder what it is I lack. My metabolism has always been fast, I worked out off & on for about 4 years trying to gain weight, I ate 6-8 times a day. I gained 10 lbs the last year, It came off a lot quicker than I gained it, I suppose these are many of my self doubts just being talked about.
I suppose Ive had more good days then bad since I accepted myself. Im sure we all have these feelings from time to time. I woke up last night about 3 am and for some reason these thoughts were floating around in my head. Maybe writing them down will help get rid of such things....
