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Thread: Question from therapist.

  1. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    Westchester, NY
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    115
    1. If you were retired and living alone, would you dress full time.

    I would not dress full time but certainly would dress more often. I would also explore going out dressed which is some I have not done.

    2. When I'm dressed, do I feel like a girl, or a man in a dress.

    I am the same person in drab and dressed. The dressing satisfies a means of expressing myself not accessible when I am in drab.

    3. Is it OK if I tell your wife that she [the therapist] saw me dressed.

    Our agreement is that I dress at home so I would not dress for the therapist unless I discussed with my wife first.

    4. She also asked me why I didn't tell my wife before we got married.

    I have much more clarity about my dressing and who I am now. However, not telling my wife was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

  2. #27
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Northern Rockies
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    Hi Steffi. Best wishes to you in this process. It seems healthy to me!

    1. If you were retired and living alone, would you dress full time?
    Yes, 100% at home. I am not currently out locally and would need to make serious decisions about how, when, and even if to do so! I go out regularly in far-away cities.

    2. When I'm dressed, do I feel like a girl, or a man in a dress?

    I feel and see myself as a woman when dressed and often en drab.

    3. Is it OK if I tell your wife that she [the therapist] saw me dressed.

    Absolutely, She sees me dressed many days a week and knows i go out. I do not have secrets from her.

    4. She also asked me why I didn't tell my wife before we got married.
    I did tell her. I was terrified and it went well. I am fortunate!

  3. #28
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Utah, north of West Jordan, south of North Salt Lake & west of South Salt Lake
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    3,610
    First off, if you are not totally honest with the therapist, she will head in the wrong direction when dealing with the issues you and your wife are attempting to address. Things could easily get worse if she doesn't understand you, especially if you are feeding her the wrong information. Not just a waste of time but counter-productive and maybe even harmful in the long run. I do hope my answers provide a little light you can use to find your own path.


    1. If you were retired and living alone, would you dress full time.

    I am retired and living alone. I've gone from dressing occasionally and rarely going out to under-dressing all the time, fully dressing multiple times a week and coming out to others in the family so I can do more. It seems I'm not done yet and full time may be in the cards, I just don't know.

    2. When I'm dressed, do I feel like a girl, or a man in a dress.

    I'm feeling very comfortable and doing the best job I can presenting female but I'm not fooling myself. I may be closer to being a woman than a man mentally, but unless I start hormones and commit to transition I am, by definition, a male in body at least.

    3. Is it OK if I tell your wife that the therapist saw me dressed.

    Even if your wife doesn't want to see you, the therapist needed to understand your level of comfort and commitment to your feminine aspect. Your wife will need to know, but it may be the therapist that shares that information. That's a decision that will have to be decided between the two of you. My wife was accepting, saw me dressed and even went out with me a few times before she became sick and eventually passed away. The therapy I'd doing now is to get a handle on the anxiety I face as I attempt to move on and explore my gender now that I'm able to do that.

    4. She also asked me why I didn't tell my wife before we got married.

    I didn't tell my wife before we got married because I didn't recognize the crossdressing I'd done as a long term gender identity issue. I thought it was something sexual, and like others here, figured it would go away once I was married. During the middle part of my adult life it was a very minor part of my world. Eventually it began to become more apparent that this was something I would have to address and eventually she found me out before I could come up with the courage to tell her. I was fortunate that she accepted me for who I am, telling me that some of the things she loved the most about me were what she saw as some of my feminine characteristics.

    I wish you both the best as you explore this strange and tangled thing that gender identity issues bring to a marriage.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  4. #29
    Senior Member Amanda M's Avatar
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    who would trust a surgeon who said " Appendicitis is no big deal! No, I have never done the operation, but I'v e watched some videos....
    If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!

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