Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 41 of 41

Thread: Why do I crossdress?

  1. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Northeast America
    Posts
    119
    We've all wondered this and I certainly have a few theories about me. But right now, having just sat in my yard in a blue short sleeved dress with lace on the top that show a hint of bra strap and two inch blue pumps sipping mineral water and admiring the lipstick print on the glass, I think it may be for moments like that.

  2. #27
    New Member twelvestepemily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    CO
    Posts
    17
    I don't really get the people who refuse to consider this question. Maybe it's not worth obsessing over, but still I think it's a good question to ask of ourselves if we're open to honest self-reflection. I've been thinking about this a lot recently, and the possible reasons I've come up to tend to fall into two categories, those that positively reflect who I am, and the more negative ones. I can't say I know the answer to this definitely, but these are my thoughts about how to reconcile crossdressing with who I am as a person.

    Positive:
    - I am a creative type -- making outside-the-box associations comes naturally, and I like exploring the different ideas I have no matter how out there they may be
    - I am open-minded -- I am not willing to accept the answer "just because, that's how it is". I was raised a somewhat religious household (now agnostic), but as I grew older I started questioning more why? The more I questioned, the more I saw that although religion could provide a foundation for morality, it does not have all the answers, just as the law doesn't have all the answers, and society doesn't have all the answers. Just accepting the status quo gets us stuck in a roundabout of ignorance. So I've developed a mentality that I should question everything, and should be willing to explore ideas and feelings that may not be widely accepted, and this has served me well in my career and other aspects of my life. -- But this also started very early on for me: I also have this memory from preschool where I had learned what sex was somewhere and was talking about it with friends (boys and girls) out at recess, and everyone had an "eww thats disgusting" reaction, and although I agreed, I also argued that it would probably be something we'd be into when we were older, but no one was hearing that.
    - I am curious -- I like to have new experiences as a means to understanding the world and knowing what is possible in this life
    - I am empathetic -- when I was younger, I was very self-absorbed (as most of us probably were), but as I grew up I started thinking a lot about "how will this other person feel if I act this way" and more generally "how does this other person feel in this situation" and further generalized to "what is this other person's life experience like?".
    - I am introverted -- feelings and emotions and sensations really stand out for me and my internal experience plays a big role in the way I process my experiences in the world. I'm pretty well socially adjusted and enjoy spending time with people, but I know that I'm more internally aligned than externally. (I'd say this is more neutral than positive, it's just who I am and I think it plays a role in CDing for me. Nothing wrong with being more extraverted.)

    Together I think these attributes made me someone who is more likely to crossdress, or at least be willing to try it and explore it (if it feels good and doesn't hurt yourself or others, why not do it?). Also, I feel like this curiosity has allowed me to better understand the female experiences and has helped me become much more empathetic of the things women deal with (from subtle discrimination to unfair expectations to the art/skill/challenge that is makeup).

    I wonder often if crossdressing is something that most people would enjoy if they were willing to allow themselves to. I mean, how is becoming another person temporarily not like the most exciting idea ever to people?! But I guess that leads me to possible less-than-positive reasons that may have contributed to my CDing...

    Negative:
    - I had a hard time becoming comfortable with myself and gaining social acceptance growing up, especially during puberty -- This is not fun to admit or talk about, but I wonder if maybe this contributed to the aforementioned excitement about temporarily becoming someone else? To be honest though, I tend to reject this idea because for me, it has never been about trying to escape myself, and more about the excitement of feeling something totally different.
    - I also was a late bloomer and it took a while for me for me to be able to connect with girls (identifying as a straight guy) -- I wonder if out of the sexual frustration of my youth, I found that creating my own femininity was a somewhat suitable replacement for a real connection with another person, which I just couldn't make happen naturally as an awkward young man. A counterpoint to this is that I look back to before puberty, and see that I had some CD relevant experiences when I was still young and innocent (eg, trying on my sister's one-piece bathing suit when I was maybe 10, and when we were even younger we would put on these ridiculous play dresses, petticoats, etc and put on these little parades for dinner guests, and for whatever reason that just felt so good and fun.) But maybe these earlier experiences primed me such that later in life, when I was struggling sexually, I drew from those experiences to cope.
    - Filling the void of femininity in my life that I need -- Once I did start having relationships is when CDing actually took off for me: to start, my girlfriend at the time left some panties at my place and I tried them on out of curiosity, and it was totally electrifying. Then when we moved into together, I had access to a whole wardrobe of girls clothing and makeup. But I've found that my "need" to crossdress is highly correlated with my satisfaction in my relationships. In that first relationship, I started CDing out of curiosity, but as our relationship developed problems and we were farther away emotionally, I felt a greater need to CD. I've felt the same thing in subsequent relationships too, and of course the need to CD peaks when I'm single.
    - Addictive personality -- I have ADD (which is fine), and a friend studying for a nursing degree told me that she learned that it's believed that people with ADD tend to have an endorphin deficiency, so that they are more likely to seek out experiences to spike those feel good feelings. That doesn't feel far off the truth for me. And I've found that as time goes on, I keep pushing things forward to get a stronger feeling from CDing, never satisfied to just let it be, almost like I develop a tolerance and so I need more of it to get the same level of contentment. For example, around 8 years ago, I started with just panties, and then eventually makeup, and then eventually clothing... and then I started playing with my gf's vibrator... and then I got a wig and that was crazy!. And now, despite my conflicted feelings about the whole thing, I've recently ordered breastforms (and another wig)! And I'm so excited about that, but also realize that this digs me deeper into a hole that I'm committed to, but I guess I feel like these evolutions are inevitable and so I may as well just roll with it. And I guess I find that kind of scary to be perfectly honest.

    So again, this is just speculation and brutally honest personal reflection. I don't know why I crossdress, but these possible reasons give me some context to understand it. And maybe its these things plus some inherent factor that I was born with. My parents have told me that they were surprised that I was boy when I was born, I think because the ultrasound seemed to indicate otherwise. No idea if that is actually relevant, but is something that has stuck with me that has been somewhat of a comfort, because even in the womb my gender was unclear and maybe it's just the way I am.

  3. #28
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Old Hampshire, UK
    Posts
    5,271
    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    This question has likely been the most asked in CD history....
    Never a truer word spoken there - at least as a question asked amongst ourselves...

    Why do I do it?

    Because my gender compass is as stable as a navigational compass in the Bermuda Triangle...

    Because in doing this I am visually facilitating a broader expression of a feminine aspect of my persona that can't find another outlet via male mode...

    Because it feels right for me to express this, however much society stupidly insists it must be 'wrong'...

    And - dammit - because I look good blonde...

    As if we need a reason...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  4. #29
    Member Julie Mehn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    ClearWater Fl
    Posts
    28
    i do it because it makes me happy

  5. #30
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    462
    I've never been able to figure out why I dress or want to transition. It's beyond frustrating.

  6. #31
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Houston, Texas area
    Posts
    189
    I started at 3 to 4 years old so my only conclusion is that I must have been born this way. The bonus is that it makes me feel happy, serene and whole!
    Lisa

  7. #32
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Poconos PA
    Posts
    18,971
    Basically to outwardly express my inner feelings.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  8. #33
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,842

    Exclamation Drugs!

    What else could make me start out of the blue after age 50?

    I was put on hormonal drugs for an enlarged prostate at about the same time.

    Maybe just a coincidence!?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #34
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Deliah,
    We are all different but I know now I was born wired with a female trait, my testosterone must have kicked in early so a combination of events tied my male side and female side together , that combination has never been broken so from the age of 8-9 I must have become bi-gender . I always liked girls as a male and enjoyed being dressed as one , yes it was very sexual , I have a deep need to share it with a woman and before I married I had two Gfs that I did just that, I now realise that I partly dress to please my female side and also to attract a woman. It's taken far too long and finally with the help of counselling to discover all this. Now I fully accept myself and I'm finally out dressed and admitting I'm enjoying it , even to my wife who doesn't want to know too much about it.

    So I crossdress because it's part of me nothing is going to change that , I have a need to satisfy that part of me , no shame or guilt .

    I still say it's important to know why we do it, not only to understand it ourselves but also to be able to explain it to others if they wish to know, I just couldn't live with an attitude of shrugging my shoulders and saying I don't know. It's hard enough for a man to come to terms with it let alone the people round you.
    Last edited by Teresa; 06-20-2016 at 07:25 PM.

  10. #35
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,931
    Some reasons are difficult or impossible to verbalize. I know why I crossdress, but I find the reason impossible to verbalize. When I get all dolled up, I look in the mirror and see a woman looking back at me and I think to myself, "Yes, that's correct." When I look at myself in male mode I think, "No, that's wrong." It's not a feeling either, because these thoughts are purely intellectual. I have good feelings that are connected with crossdressing, but they're not always present. I dress because of the certain knowledge that this is the right thing to do.

    Let me ask another question. Do you like music? You do? Why? You don't? Why not?

    Do you like the taste of cinnamon? Why? Why not?

    There are many reasons that can't be verbalized. That doesn't mean they are arbitrary, and it doesn't mean the can be changed.

  11. #36
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Southern Illinois
    Posts
    3,042
    I began dressing early, being initially attracted to the soft feelings of nylon stockings, which made me feel serene and feminine. Over the years, I've tried to find some understandable reasons for my love of nylons and dressing. I told my wife before we got married. After dispelling her fears, she's now very accepting and helpful. We continue our search for answers, but realize my compulsions will be with us. I now have everything I need. I'm very maticulous and detailed when getting ready. When I'm dressed, I still continue to feel serenity, comfort, and warm feminine feelings. We go out together for lunch, movies and, of course shopping. I'm frustrated with the many women who don't wear hose. I'm almost always wearing hose, both "underneath" and when dressed.

  12. #37
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Northcentral Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,124
    I find many of the previous explanations plausible. I can't really say what caused me to want to crossdress, but I do know that it was inevitable. Since I was about 4 years old, the realization that I wanted to be a girl has haunted me. The unfortunate fact that I acquired a truly large and masculine body has always made it even more painful to accept. All the time that I grew up, I have never been interested in any of the male things that my fellow classmates aspire to. Maybe I'm just a misfit.

  13. #38
    Member Ellie Summer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    393
    I wonder if it has to do with women usually being the object of beauty. What's the best way to sell something? Put a beautiful woman in front of it. Men can be handsome, but I've never been interested in looking handsome, to me it's boring. Women's clothing accentuates my body in a way that men's clothing simply doesn't, and that's why I dress. I look in the mirror and I finally feel beautiful. Male, female, somewhere in between, it's not important to me to pinpoint it anywhere, I'm just doing what makes me happy.

  14. #39
    New Member mickynylons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    18
    Simply put, it's good feel girly sometimes and it's great stress relief!

  15. #40
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Osaka, Japan
    Posts
    221
    There seems to almost as may answers to this question as they are members on this list. I share the most common reasons of feeling better, more relaxed, more comfortable and pleased with the way I look.
    However, I'll answer this from a slightly odd or negarive aspect. A few months ago I had an eye infection which cause me to miss several CD dressing occasions, meaning a weekend and then a national holiday a few days later. I wear contact lenses when I go out as a CD but could not wear them for a few days and don't have female glasses. I spent these days doing what I would normally do dressed up as a CD, but now inmale attire. I felt utterly horrible, literally devistated. It was wrong, somehow. I envied the people around me who were going about there business dressed mosstly innthe informal clothes people wear on the weekend. I felt I was in some kind of straight jacket. The infection cleared up after about a week and when I went out again as a CD the feeling was fantastic. I was me again.

    This is why I am a CD and why I dress.

    "in the end you crossdress because you want to." This seems to be the bottom line. Why we want to has hundreds of answers. In the end result, it feels right and natural. Not dressing is somehow wrong and unnatural.

  16. #41
    Stephanie58
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Southern Highlands, NSW, Australia
    Posts
    22
    Because I enjoy doing it - and it makes my feel good.

    And, after doing it for all these years, i feel it is part of my "core" or "being"

    But i am still somewhat ashamed to admit I do it - probably because of a lifetime of fear that my secret would be discovered.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State