Attraction

[xNicolex]

Are you attracted to your femme self? I know it seems a strnge question but do you find yourself a turn on when dressed?

[Teresa]

Nicky,
There's the thread running at the moment about AGP . I thought it translated as loving yourself as a woman , but Reine suggests to be sexually aroused when dressed as a woman. Whatever being dressed and AGP are part of the feelings along with a need to present my female side, my turn on is to be attracted to and accepted by a woman .
I

[ReineD]

I thought it translated as loving yourself as a woman , but Reine suggests to be sexually aroused when dressed as a woman.

In the context of AGP, Teresa, loving oneself as a woman does mean sexual arousal. It has always meant sexual arousal.

Normally when we say, "I love myself", it is taken as a positive reinforcement, i.e. "I am worthy". But in the context of Blanchard's 1990s study (where he was specifically investigating the motives for transition and when he first coined the term "autogynephilia" for the people who experienced sexual arousal when they dress), it meant sexual arousal. But as mentioned in my other post, Blanchard was sorely mistaken when he applied his AGP theory to transitioning transsexuals, who do transition for reasons of gender dysphoria and not because they are sexually aroused at the thought of expressing femininity. Everyone knows this now. But in the 1990s it wasn't as clear to everyone.

Still, there are a lot of people here who are not TS, who will not transition, and who are not ashamed to admit that for them the crossdressing is or was sexual. There have always been a lot of members like this on cd.com and AGP ("auto"/self, "gyne"/woman, "philia"/sexual arousal) is a term that describes this.

[Teresa]

Reine,
Thanks for that I understand the point you're making . I queried with another member if Blanchard later did add transvestic to differentiate between TSs and CDers.

Sorry I thought philia translated as love or to love .

Katey,
I do think about other things apart from that three letter word !

[Alice_2014_B]

Being fully dressed up is already thrilling itself.
I have to admit that I find some of the pictures I take of myself to be fairly attractive.

[Mykaa]

Thats an easy answer Nicole, Yes. Part of this for me has always been to emulate something I dont have in my life. Yes this behavior can and does replace a woman and if you dont think they realize that you are short sighted. I have had this conversation with a GG from here. I will add I dont necessarily buy things anymore for that purpose. I buy what I think looks good on me to represent a look I want to show. I also own shoes and clothes for comfort.

[Maria 60]

I believe I dress to how I want to see a women dressed.

[iGenny]

Attracted, yes. Turned on, no.

Maria said exactly what I wanted to say.

[Alice Torn]

I would be lying if i said i did not do it partly as a turn on, as a lonely bachelor, to dress up like the lady i wish i had.

[Ressie]

I'm attracted to good looking women and their clothing is part of that attraction. I don't find myself (dressed) nearly as attractive as the lovely GGs in this world, but to be sexually attractive is the reason I dress.

[xNicolex]

Well isn't this a mixed bag Alot of interesting replies. In other threads and in this one some have said that they try to emulate what they find attractive in a woman. But may not be attracted to themselves. This is understandable as maybe they feel they don't measure up to their expectation. Being turned on by dressing is another matter entirely, although it excites us all in some way its not always sexually I get that. I wonder though given that most of human natures attraction is based on the sexual aspect coupled with my point on emulating attractiveness and not feeling turned on, it's an interesting contrast showing just how different we veiw our dressing and our aesthetic veiw on both our male and female selfes

[Fiona123]

Maybe I am attracted to the idea of my femme self. I do crossdress in part for the sexual thrill.🌺

[NicoleScott]

My transformation goal is to create the look that the guy I am likes. The more successful I am, the greater the attraction. In past years and decades of trying different looks, I have failed miserably and succeeded mightily. Now I know what looks I like, so my success rate is high. Definitely attracted.

[Mickitv]

i also get turned on when I dress. Attracted to myself is still questionable

[Lily Catherine]

Part of me wishes my femme self were more sexually attractive; I do get turned on when I crossdress, but credit remains due to the sensation and the connotation of the garments as much as my image and arguably my inflated self perception. To add to this, I had a period of wearing garments meant to be sexy, adding to the nubile image I wished to portray.

I wouldn't consider myself hot though, well not now.

[Tracii G]

Never really gave it much thought but thinking about it I would have to say no on both counts.

[AllieSF]

I am not attracted to myself. I love how I look when dressed as a woman. I love my lipsticked smile and long hair in my many selfies when out, and I love myself as a human being with all my faults.

[paintmepink]

Yes. I fantasize using myself.

[Confucius]

No. I like the pretty feminine clothes, but I am not pretty. I am not turned on by my feminine self. When I wear feminine clothing my brain seems to interpret it as actual contact with a female and it releases a host of feel-good neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, comfort, and self-identity. So crossdressing makes me happy, but I am not in love with myself as a female.

[ReineD]

Confucius, look at how "philia" is used in terminology to describe various sexual preferences. It does not mean being in love.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

Please note that I posted this link to show a specific list of words with "philia" in them. I certainly do not consider that atypical sexual preferences or practices are in any way deviant, sinful, perverted, or any other way that people think or have thought of paraphilias.

[Crissy Kay]

Well, I do get turned on sometimes while dressed and looking at myself in the mirror. But attracted to myself, I don't think so. As I don't look that good as a girl!!

[ReineD]

Sorry to keep posting in this thread, but Crissy Kay, fundamentally it does mean being turned on or being aroused. Not being in love with, not just being attracted to in the way a guy might be attracted to a girl, not feeling worthy as, not being proud of having pulled off a look that works, etc. In the context of AGP, it does mean being turned on/aroused.

[Ressie]

"I seduce myself" would be a better way of describing this attraction.

[Katey888]

So there are two questions there, Nicole...

1. Are you attracted...
and
2. Do you find yourself a turn on...

No to #2, but we can't help it if others do... However, I do find it stimulating and fulfilling, and I'm going to ask a question in answer to #1...

Could there be anyone here who actively does not try to represent their individual transformation into what they would personally perceive as the most attractive femme self that they could portray...?

If not, then isn't being attracted to what you are trying to emulate as an attractive image something of a self-fulfilling definition...?

I think it's possible to be attracted without necessarily being aroused. (I blame Teresa for bringing sex into this - again... )

And Reine, surely when you have the opportunity to get a little glammed up, you can't just base that look on what you believe others may find attractive - it must be more what your own perception of what you understand and feel is attractive too...?

We can sometimes all be rather frail in our self-belief, and I do feel that AGP and arousal can be used as a subtle pejorative a little too much... after all, there are plenty of (almost all?) 'regular' males who need experience nothing more than a little legerdemain to get switched on...

We shouldn't feel bad about looking good and feeling fine... looking good and feeling fine...


Katey x

[ReineD]

And Reine, surely when you have the opportunity to get a little glammed up, you can't just base that look on what you believe others may find attractive - it must be more what your own perception of what you understand and feel is attractive too...?

At this stage in my life Katey, it's based on hiding the signs of aging. lol. I like to look as healthy as I can. But, I do make a conscious effort to not send "sexy" type signals when I dress. Although I did in my youth (I enjoyed getting appreciative glances from men and I do think we are hard-wired for this especially when young), I'm past that stage now and I no longer enjoy short skirts, stilletto heels, plunging necklines, body-hugging clothes, or any other similar signal ... and besides, I no longer have a 35 year old body. I think these clothes look out of place on women past a certain age. I do dress in a manner that befits the occasion but I tend to go for simple, classic clothing ... nothing really eye catching. I place a lot of focus on keeping my skin healthy and wrinkle-free with a good cleansing routine and sunblock and a healthy diet. And when out, I place more focus on being outgoing and engaging with people (I love to get to know people and make friends) than the clothes. And I think this is what shines through in all of us. Go to any party and which guest will you enjoy spending time with. A person who makes you feel comfortable, is lively and interesting to talk to but who is wearing plain clothes, or a person who is not all that interesting but is dressed to kill.

And I certainly never became aroused by wearing something sexy, unless of course wearing these things aroused my partner, or if I was "in the mood" even before putting anything on in which case it didn't matter if I put on a sexy dress, a pair of jeans, or if I was naked. So it has always been either my own inherent arousal (non-presentation related) or my partner's arousal that did it for me and not the clothes I was wearing or the look that I had put together.