How far can denial go?

[Aleca]

I've seen, heard many stories that suggest fear of discovery over the years. Twenty years ago, in Indiana, a CD tried to outrun police for fear of being outted and drove into a tree, hospitalized (would have been pulled over for a minor traffic citation). In Hawaii a guy being brought in for questioning for a murder jumps off an 11th floor balcony, committing suicide for fear of discovery he's a transvestite........and now I am hearing that the Orlando shooter was gay, if that is relative?!
Wow, how far do some people have to keep running in fear. I am seeing now how self esteem is a huge part of all this...... And am reminded to work on own, currently doing some reading on the subject of self love deficit disorder (codependency)

[Alice Torn]

For some of us , it is a big hurdle. Codependency is a big problem today, too. Some of us come from such shaming families, religions, and cultures, that it is truly terrifying, to think of being outed , or even read much as a dresser or transvestite. I still have a hard time going out, partly because of being six foot six with no shoes on. i fear confrontation, too, and fear my own anger, if confronted. Each of us has different inner battles.

[bettyloop]

Some have been living a lie for so long. They don't want to hurt their loved ones. Who knows what goes on in another persons head. Maybe one day it will be socially acceptable.

[Teresa]

Aleca,
I found out twenty years a go what it feels like to go down that road, it was down to my wife's acceptance and how I reacted to it . It wasn't premeditated but a spur of the moment decision to jump a junction into the path of a large lorry, in the split seconds of my foot going from the brake pedal to the accelerator a voice inside called me a selfish ******* for putting the other driver in a situation for possibly being responsible for my death, at that moment I had no thoughts on the value of my life or how my family would deal with it.

My GP did send me for counselling when I told him what happened and why, the counsellor was crap and passed me back to my GP who prescribed Prozac.
I've had two sessions of counselling recently the first to check that I wouldn't self harm again and the second was gender counselling .

I have no intentions of going down that road again , I've now come to terms with my CDing my wife accepts it but doesn't want any part of it. I now go out socially and openly enjoy my dressing , my children know as do their married partners, I know how precious life can be so I'm not bothered who knows about my dressing .
Denial can be a very destructive force, as I almost found to my cost !