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Thread: Gay crossdresser and bisexual crossdresser

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    Gay crossdresser and bisexual crossdresser

    Hi everyone. I have a question

    Is there a such thing as a gay cd and bisexual cd? What does a gay cd and bisexual cd mean? Who is a gay cd and who is a bisexual cd? What are the experiences like being a gay cd and a bisexual cd?

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
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    Very interesting question. I never really gave the subject much thought. From personal experience, I consider myself bi because even though I have been with mainly women, I have had a strong attraction to a few men and even went so far as to have a fling with a couple of men. I will say that when I am dressed or thinking about dressing the attraction to men is a lot stronger.

  3. #3
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Why wouldn't there be "such a thing"???

    Gender identity and sexual preference are mutually exclusive.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Melissa Rose's Avatar
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    Being gay or bisexual is related to sexual orientation. Being a cross dresser is related to gender expression. They are independent; however, I can see where some confusion may occur. The following is my opinion on how this unfolds.

    If you identify as male, have no serious plans to transition or are not transitioning, live the majority your public life as a male, and are sexually attracted to only males then you are gay; if you are sexually attracted to males and females then you are bisexual. Fantasies or passing desires while cross dressed do not count. Sexual orientation is not connected to the way you are dressed and does not flip based on the way you are dressed. If you are genuinely attracted to females while presenting as male and genuinely attracted to males while presenting as female then you are bisexual regardless if the type of attraction is gender presentation specific. Again, this is genuine attraction you would follow through with and not a fantasy only while dressed.
    Last edited by Melissa Rose; 07-02-2016 at 03:40 PM.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    I think that when I dress as a female, I'm attracted to guys, cds and transgender. I haven't date a female recently and I lost my virginity to a guy

  6. #6
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Melissa pretty much said it right there.
    Some here seem to think that when they dress they are attracted to guys but I wonder if its just more of a fantasy they have.
    I'm sure some act on it and are bi to begin with.
    For me I'm attracted to guys 24/7 so I'm a gay CD/TG person.
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  7. #7
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    Traci I agree with you and Melissa. However being that I want to date guys/cds just because its something that I want in a long time. See I had bad experiences with women as far as them being manipulative and dramatic (I live in nj where I came across girls like that). Anyway to me I want to make it a reality like I kiss guys and I had sex with guys and cds more than women. I never actually had sex with a woman

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Some here seem to think that when they dress they are attracted to guys but I wonder if its just more of a fantasy they have.
    Not trying to start an arguement, just adding a thought. A lot of GG's are attracted to men and traditionally that is generally accepted as the natural course of nature. A lot of CD's like myself believe that we are a woman trapped in a man's body, so when we dress we are embracing and, for at least a short period, allowing that woman trapped inside to come out, so while walking in that persona wouldn't it only be natural to be more attracted to men?

  9. #9
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cristy2 View Post
    A lot of CD's like myself believe that we are a woman trapped in a man's body, so when we dress we are embracing and, for at least a short period, allowing that woman trapped inside to come out, so while walking in that persona wouldn't it only be natural to be more attracted to men?
    \]

    Cristy2, what you are saying "trapped in a man's body" would indicate you are a transexual, not a crossdresser. Crossdressers dress in clothing of the opposite sex, but don't have GD (gender dysphoria) unless they don't realize that they are TS. I don't know of any crossdressers that feel they're trapped in a man's body.

    Although gender identity and sexual preference are two separate things, crossdressing and homosexual behavior (or just inclinations) seem to go hand in hand for some CDs. Being with a man may be a fantasy when dressed, but more than likely that fantasy will eventually continue when not dressed en femme. Isn't this related to what Freud called latent homsexuality?

    Hey, we're all a little different even though we have things in common. Answer: of course there are CDs that are gay or bisexual. It's apparent when reading some of the threads here.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  10. #10
    New Member Dianna_ericka's Avatar
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    My think here is: Once cleared the issue about gender and sexual orientation, some CD's are following the image of what Women do, and this could lead to start to behave like one, then is becoming from look like one (Cross-dress) to perform like a woman as the ultimate act of look like one.
    This line is very well defined for some people and very thin for other, and if it is puere fantasy, the line is almost invisible.
    It does not matter if you are under one deffinition today and other tomorrow, what is important is that you undesrtand yourself and try to be happy with it.
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  11. #11
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Christy personally I feel like a woman most all the time and feel I am in the wrong body.
    Maybe the difference between you and I is I know there is nothing I can do about it so I'm OK with being the way I am.
    I don't live in some sort of fetish fantasy world like some in the TG /CD spectrum do.
    The ratio of bi or gay people in the TG community is probably the same as it is in the vanilla part of society.
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  12. #12
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Tiffany, I am bisexual, that means that I have done both male and female. Many more females than males though but that makes me BI sexual. Gay means that if you go into a relationship with a man. Then that is gay and if you are a cd then you are a gay cd. For example I like both guys and girls and would have sex with them. Now if I started to do only men. then that would be gay. I almost went that way but I am with a female now. There is nothing wrong with being gay and it looks like that is the way you want to go. But as a Bi CD, for example I would be open to you.
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  13. #13
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    Gender identity and sexual preference are mutually exclusive.
    I hope you didn't mean to say this as it says that one can't have a gender identity AND a sexual orientation at the same time. One excludes the other. That's obviously not true. In fact ones sexual orientation is absolutely dependent on gender identity. How can I be a gay man (sexual orientation) unless I am a man (gender identity)?

    The other fallacy that is often bandied about here is that there is "no relationship" between gender identity and sexual orientation. Sexual orientations and gender identities are not randomly distributed. In fact, ~95% of people are heterosexual so the relationship is highly correlated. We say that smoking causes lung cancer but nowhere near 95% of smokers get lung cancer. The best you can say is that correlation does not equal causation.

  14. #14
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    I think the answer to the OP's question is "yes". The rest seems like it is trying to get TMI from people here. Yes, there are gay, bi, straight CDs...just like there are gay, bi, straight men and women. And Stevie, let's not get into semantics, you know what was meant
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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  15. #15
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I don't see why some people want to argue and split hairs just for the sake of it.
    Lorileah I'm with you .
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  16. #16
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    Right now I am bi myself although I did males and cds more than female

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    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    My bad Stevie. I meant to convey that gender identity and sexual preference have nothing to do with one another. Yes, I drank the fallacy Kool-Aid. While I believe that sexual preference can evolve/change, I don't buy that one puts on a dress, becomes gay/bi, and takes it off only to become entirely straight again.

    Then again, the OP question has more to do with an activity, crossdressing, rather than gender identity so my original point not only reflected an incorrect use of words, it was entirely off-target.

    The answer should have been "Yes, Virginia, there IS such thing as a gay/bi CD'er, just as there are gay/bi model railroaders, football fans, craft brew aficionados, etc."
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
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  18. #18
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    I lived a lot of my life (wrongly) as a gay man. Since transition, I'm a straight woman. I really miss the priviledge that comes from being considered gay- it was so cool.

  19. #19
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Being TG/TS/CD does not determine your sexual orientation. So one can be a gay/bi/straight TG/TS/CD just as one can be gay/bi/straight and entirely cis in one's gender identity and/or expression. My personal feeling is that, on average, being not entirely cis might predispose someone to be more flexible about the gender of their partners but I have no solid stats on that so it's just a hunch.

  20. #20
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Tiffany, not being either of those I'll not comment.

    But, I certainly see a lot of dressers here that describe themselves as lesbians. Which confuses the heck out of me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

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  21. #21
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    The OP asked more than one question so it's not just about whether there is "such a thing" as a gay or bi Cd. Of course there is "such a thing." But,"What does a gay cd and bisexual cd mean?" "Who is" a gay/bi cd? opens up the discussion to include things like gender identity because gender identity is integral to sexual orientation. They are not separate, disconnected things. A sexual orientation is not just about what you like. It's also about what you are when you like it.

    Here at CD.com and other forums I've been on we have had informal sexual orientation polls over the years. The number of gay identified CDs is usually more or less in line with national averages (1.6% according to the CDC) but the number of bisexual identified CDs (30-40%) is WAY, WAY higher than one would expect if crossdressing had "nothing to do" with sexual orientation (0.7%.) Yes I know that these informal polls are not particularly representative or accurate but the discrepancy is so huge that I don't think it can be ignored or dismissed just because it doesn't jibe with some dogma. Many CDs claim to be "bi when dressed" or "heterosexual in both modes." What can it possibly mean?

    Personally I don't think that most CDs who claim to be bi really are in the usual sense. The number of actual bisexual CDs is probably a lot closer to the national average. More likely, most experience something that has been called pseudo-bisexuality. I don't mean to use the pseudo prefix to mean "fake" but to mean "appearing like but not quite." Pseudo-bisexuality in this context means they are not actually attracted to men but are attracted to the idea of having sex with men because androphilia is associated with femininity.* I know that has been true for me and I'm sure it's true for others (You know who you are!) It's as "real" as any other sexual orientation. But it's more of an attraction to a concept than to a actual person. None of this applies to those who are truly androphilic.

    *Well, only 98% of the time, for the other 2% we have "male lesbians."

  22. #22
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    I've always considered myself 100% hetero, but the older I get the more bi curious I become when dressed, and fantasizing about being with another CD. I guess that makes me a hot mess !

  23. #23
    Member Lilly 40C's Avatar
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    When I was young, I was 100% hetero. But, in my 40s I had a Bi experience which was wonderful. Now decades later I am 100% Bi and enjoy sex with both men and women equally. Naturally when I'm dressed, it is only men for me. Wish I had gone with a man in my 20s because I feel like I missed out on 20 years of enjoyment. So in answer to the question, I am a Bi CD not a gay CD.

  24. #24
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    We forgot Pansexual , in my life I have been with men, women and all those in between. If you are attractive and passionate, I am curious...
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  25. #25
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    This has come up before. I don't think being a CD has any relationship at all with one's sexual orientation. Isn't anyone who dresses up in female attire a CD? Doesn't crossdressing just mean putting on female attire? I don't particulary identify with the gay group and have trouble understanding the bisexual group. Still, I would welcome any of these people as CD friends and be thrilled to associate with them. Their sexual orientation is their won business and has nothing to do with their CD aspect. We're all in the same boat, so to speak.

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