Gender fluid, alpha male, late bloomers?

[Robin414]

OK, that's a mouthful but any gender fluid, alpha male, late bloomers? In hindsight I get it, I've been GF to some degree all my life but I've strived to be 'that alpha guy' and it worked very well. But now I've come to realize (with age, etc, etc) I don't need to 'run' anymore I'm comfortable with my GF self but it's weird, I feel like I'm giving up my 'alpha male privilege'. I mean, I'm certainly no hot chick (scratch that one) and I'm not the show stopping charismatic stud either...I'm not alpha anything...I know, I'm getting up there and what does it matter...but I know a LOT of older 'alpha dudes'. I'm GF, I didnt ask for it but I get it, i think im just saying...is there a plus side to this?

[Dana44]

Robin, yeah I get it and you are right. I am comfortable as GF and well, I am more a tween now. painted toenails, earrings, log hair and well, Not so alpha male now. but comfortable as a gender fluid person. But I still am okay as a male with all the differences that the fem side put on me. But I often wonder if I'm getting too deep.

[Ineke Vashon]

I am reminded of a phrase or 'wisdom' that appeared in the Saturday Evening Post, back in the sixties. The supposedly "German author" would quote wisdoms like: "We grow too soon old and too late smart"
Heinrich Schnibble.

Yes, there is a plus side. Maturity, wisdom, experience. Alpha Male was necessary during the working and competing days. Speaking for myself as an Octogenarian, I am glad I do not have to put up a macho front any longer. I can be my gentler self. In my case "gentler" means an amalgam of letting go of physical things like strength, endurance, and now welcoming, for me somewhat late, a long buried feminine side, which i no longer have to suppress. I am now content to walk instead of run, sit in the sun instead of challenging a ski slope, and wear 'gentle', soft, satiny, femme clothing at home. For as long as time allows me do so you.

Ineke

[Mykaa]

Robin you know what, Im a girly guy, Im ok with that, know what else? Im going to take it and run with it. Im having fun and isnt that what matters?

[docrobbysherry]

Not gender fluid. After many years figured out I'm "simply" a CD.

Not alpha anything. But, I must have had something women liked! When I was in the army they said, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." I certainly sucked at the first 2. And, got out as soon as I could.

I started dressing out of the blue at age 50+. So, I probably can't identify with u or u, me, Robin. But, I think we should all do what Mykaa suggests!

[paulaprimo]

i'm a very late bloomer and the alpha me has been retired for a few years now.
i use to climb over the biggest guys in a bar just to get into a fight, now i'd much
rather go home paint the nails and put my make up on. seems that is my "happy place"
now and i'd much rather expand and explore my femme side. i feel much more at ease
and like that's the way it's suppose to be for me. i hope that makes sense...

[Robin414]

I'm listening...nice to hear I'm not alone!!

[DMichele]

Robin,
I never was close to being an alpha male although I could talk sports with guys. For too long I suppressed my true gender - i.e.TG, but today I am allowing the trans flame within to breathe and the flame is getting brighter. As a result a feel more confident and happy; and I really don't care what others may think.

I am comfortable wearing lingerie to work M-F with male jeans and shirt, but weekends it is ladies jeans and tops; light make-up; and ladies wallet and/or handbag. But I continue to explore building on my presentation, which feels congruent to my gender.

[Jaylyn]

When I was younger I always tried to hide playing in my moms stuff. If I was with my guy friends I actually was the guy that lead them into trouble or that they would come too to go beat up someone up. I was always taller and broader shouldered than most males in my classes. When playing football on the teams throughout junior high, high school and college I could get my maleness tough guy out. My home life though when no other males were around I let my GF appear from time to time. Still to this day if I'm in a male dominated style such as hunting, fishing, grandpa dominating activity with the grandsons I'm the rough and tumble guy teaching them to be the man they should. Inside sometimes I do feel like a hypocrite but I can't change now at my old age. I really enjoy being femmine in secret and the playful gal but when involved with other genetic males I want to be the leader. I don't think I'm as tough though in my old age as I once was and have mellowed with my age.

[Allisa]

There sure is a plus. Less stress brought on by being assertive and correct all the time, less eyes watching for the right moment to pounce and de-throne you to rule the roost. Being smaller in stature all my life with hormones surging and the government pushing the alpha agenda I learned to use my biggest muscle(brain) and succeed as a beta by being successful, not a Donald Trump successful but made my way without being the top dog and pushing my agenda on everyone. Now being much older and hopefully wiser I sit in the back and live less stressful, happier and expressing myself(in dress and mannerisms) as a true person who's gender is a combination of both, if these Alpha males want to help this helpless little lady with those heavy packages and stuff or open the door or just be "helpful" in any way than so be it, far from me to be confrontational. Beta not so bad but this dog can still bite, I just don't growl anymore. Now I'm just an eccentric old man who went soft(in more ways than one).

[JamieTG]

I can definitely relate Robin. I joined the military so as to look super masculine and tough. I didn't want the world to see what was inside. After getting out and reaching my mid forties, things changed. I couldn't keep it bottled up anymore. Now I present myself as a "girly" male. I don't miss the "alpha" male because it was phony. I'm much more relaxed and comfortable expressing my authentic self.

[JeanTG]

I've never been an "alpha male", but for years I successfully acted the part, I guess in part to cover my gender issues that have been with me since I was a child. I've given up acting. Sometimes when talking about gays in an offhand manner as an independent group, my wife chimes in "but dear, you ARE gay!". In a way I am. Though sexually I'm 100% oriented towards female, I prefer lovemaking in a more gentle feminine way. I've always been the one who took longer, and prefer non-penetrative sex. Does that make me a lesbian? LOL! I no longer try to act "alpha male", I'm comfortable being myself which is on a spectrum of about 60/40 female/male to 60/40 male/female, though sometimes the tension between the two can be difficult and more and more I feel the feminine side is winning out and may hit 70/30 eventually. I would love to partially transition (HRT) but alas my wife needs her man from time to time, and I'm happy to oblige if I can.

[BiancaEstrella]

I definitely had an overcompensation era after I thought I'd never fit another pair of women's shoes again. Played the sports, dated the girls, joined the forces, and so forth. Then one day in college I decided to skip my morning classes; I dropped into a Payless and had my renewal moment when I realized I could fit more size 13 women's shoes than I expected. From that moment, with rare exception, I moved out of any sort of type A leanings... I wouldn't say I went type Z, per se, but if there can be allowance for a type B then I'd say that describes me well. I love it this way, even in leadership roles I've attained since I've been the quieter, lead-by-example type, and I feel it's served me well.

[Robin414]

I'm beginning to think there is a plus side, as that 'alpha' guy I've grown an influential network of friends some of which I can influence. Tell two friends and they'll tell two friends...

[Teresa]

Robin,
I don't know your age but all I can tell you is living up to being the man does come to an end, I've burnt myself out trying to prove the point !

On a lighter note I realised that I wasn't interested when I didn't get excited about the latest tool catalogue any more.

I can't say whether I was an alpha male but I ran my own business for thirty years and did it successfully, I couldn't afford to be pushed around.
Now I just dress and enjoy it, I don't care if I pass, I do my best possibly as good as most GGs .

[Kate Simmons]

What we end up getting out of life is totally up to us my friend, labels notwithstanding.

[Robin414]

On a lighter note I realised that I wasn't interested when I didn't get excited about the latest tool catalogue any more.

Wow, I totally get that Teresa, I don't even detail my car in the driveway anymore, I just take it to the car wash...I used to love detailing cars, and I'm 50 BTW 😉

[flatlander_48]

Still to this day if I'm in a male dominated style such as hunting, fishing, grandpa dominating activity with the grandsons I'm the rough and tumble guy teaching them to be the man they should.

Assuming they have no gender issues, all you are doing is passing along life experience. That would seem appropriate.

DeeAnn

[Nikkilovesdresses]

The plus side is that you're not dead yet.

William Shakespeare is rubbish by comparison. Napoleon, Marilyn Monroe- the list is endless.

Enjoy it while you can my love.

[nikkiwindsor]

I'm gender fluid...all my life my feminine spirit has shown itself in different ways. While growing up, I tried to fight it...then I accepted it, then I embraced it!

[LaSirenaBella]

OK, that's a mouthful but any gender fluid, alpha male, late bloomers? In hindsight I get it, I've been GF to some degree all my life but I've strived to be 'that alpha guy' and it worked very well. But now I've come to realize (with age, etc, etc) I don't need to 'run' anymore I'm comfortable with my GF self but it's weird, I feel like I'm giving up my 'alpha male privilege'. I mean, I'm certainly no hot chick (scratch that one) and I'm not the show stopping charismatic stud either...I'm not alpha anything...I know, I'm getting up there and what does it matter...but I know a LOT of older 'alpha dudes'. I'm GF, I didnt ask for it but I get it, i think im just saying...is there a plus side to this?

Can't say I'm an alpha in any sense, never been. When I tried to be, it was a bad fit - and everyone else knew it, too. I just leak too much femininity (even "femaleness" as per some AFAB friends) even in baseline (male) mode. I think the only thing that applies to me is "genderfluid" as I've been coming to terms with All of This since my early 20s.