How to tell my sister

[leannejacobs]

I know I don't need to but I'd really like to tell my sister, the problem is, How? She lives hundreds of miles away so a face to face conversation is unlikely, however we do converse on social media.

My biggest fear is if she asks when it started which I'm sure she most likely will, I'm sure some will relate to the fact that I wore my sisters clothes when she was out of the house, I was about 11 or 12 probably, I'd hate for her to feel violated in any way, I suppose I could bend the truth and say I stole some hose/tights etc. So she wouldn't think she'd been wearing clothes I had worn, maybe I'm making too big a deal of it.

Anyway, how to approach the subject? Are there any of you who have gone through this who can offer some advice, she's very open minded and I'm sure she won't have any issues with it, I'd just like to be able to share this with her, we are a close family and I'd like to be honest with her.

My wife and I visited her a few years ago and there was an obvious atmosphere between my wife and I, my sister noticed this but never interfered, this was at a time when my wife knew I was hiding something from her, (the dressing) I came out to my wife within a month or so of that visit, the reason was because she thought I was having an affair and I couldn't let her think I'd be disloyal to her.

So with this back ground story do you see this as an opening for a conversation with my sister?

[Shely]

leannejacobs,
I too seem to have a strange desire to tell someone about my secret joy. My wife knows but no one else knows. I keep thinking of people who i could tell who wouldn't tell everyone and would't be blown up bu this discovery. I wonder how some of my best friends would react to me. And of course my grown children and who have no idea that their dad loves to look like a broad. It's a tough subject for most straight, and i consider myself straight, maybe a little bent, but straight. Anyway I hope you make the right choice and i hope it works out well. HUGs

[Nikki.]

Here's how I did it: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ing-out-story-)

[Aleca]

Are you on good terms with your sister to where she wouldn't use that to retaliate against you in the future?
Good you came out to your wife to disspell any affair worries.

[Tracii G]

Weigh the pros and cons, discuss it with your wife and go from there.

[ClaudineD]

......Skype....

[leannejacobs]

Thanks all, Nikki I read your post already TBH, sounds like it could be a similar result, I'm not completely in the closet, so far, my wife knows and she told her best friend who is cool and discrete, (she needed someone to talk to) an old female friend of mine knows, I told her, I told my mother who was fine with it and a female cousin I'm very close to, I've actually visited my cousin a few times dressed, the last time I was warned her teenage daughter was going to be there but that she's open minded and would be fine, So I still went, dressed, so the list is growing.

I really feel this urge to tell my sister, it's only my wife, cousin and her daughter who have seen me dressed though I have shown my mother pictures, oh and there was a girl at work inadvertently popped her head over my shoulder when I was admiring pictures of myself on my computer lol, I tried to tell here it was a themed come dine with me evening with friends, I don't think she believed me but who cares, we work in separate places now lol

[1jessica321]

I told 2/5 sisters about a year ago after I had a breakdown. It was all positive and they are more supportive than I could ever imagine. Good luck telling your sister and try not to fear the worst, you may be surprised

Xxxjessicaxxx

[AprilMayy<3]

I told my sister a few years back. I was in the same boat, started at about 10 wearing her things.
I told her I felt bad doing it behind her back, and why I liked doing it. She asked me what I would wear, I did bend the truth a bit and said I never wore any of her panties, which of course I did. She was very accepting and understood. I approached her while going out for lunch, so yes face to face. I've always had a good relationship with her so it was pretty easy to tell her.
A little white lie about what you did in the past, with clothes I doubt she owns anymore, shouldn't be a big deal in my opinion.

[Lori Kurtz]

A few thoughts ...

Telling your wife was important, and it's a very good thing you did it.

As you think about telling your sister, there are more pros and cons to consider.

Ask yourself why you want to tell her. What is it that you hope will be different if you do? What will you have gained? What will she have gained? What are the risks, in terms of her feelings, actions she might take, etc.? What are the benefits for your relationship with her?

I think those are some important things for you to explore before you make a decision. There's no one answer that works for everyone, and every situation is different. Best of luck in whatever you do.

[Julie Gaum]

Jeanne, Of course everyone agrees that you should tell your sister.Only one caveat I can think of: Do not use facebook! As you may know that's the same as being en femme and standing on a busy street corner with a megaphone.
You are doing fine entering the entrance to your journey.
Julie

[Melissa73]

omg, how this topic hits home! i came out to my sister a few years ago. I thought she'd remember, as she "caught" me so man times along with other family members. but when i told her, She honestly said that she just figured it was a phase and never gave it a passing moment (something boys did!) And yes, she knows i borrowed her and my other sister clothes (mostly the other sisters, as we were closer in age and size). ironically, She recently moved in with me and was low on socks. And she "borrowed" a pair of mine. i tossed it of as payback!

[Pat]

I'd say prepare for the question but don't volunteer. If she asks, "when did you start?" just say when (or at least when you were aware of it) and let it sit. At some point she'll probably ask a question along the lines of "did you ever wear my clothes?" and then you have the opportunity to say yes and most of the shock scenarios are defused because she'll have considered them as she formulated the question. Then make your answer honest. The answer might be "I'm embarrassed to say." which again really presages the eventual truth that will come out. But if you're going to come out, don't lie. What's the point in that? It just leaves the job undone.