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Thread: Burger, Fries & Shake

  1. #1
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    Burger, Fries & Shake

    You and your female partner are both enjoying eating a burger, fries and shake; nobody has said this is only a guy or girl meal. You both enjoy it and nobody has any criticism of either sex eating it. So why can't there be the same acceptance for what ever style, gender clothes one chooses to wear? Both the meal and clothes are an individuals personal choice and they should not be criticized for it. Clothes should be just as accepted as eating a burger. They both love to eat a burger, fries and a shake and wear girl clothes, WHY is one so accepted and the other isn't, aren't they both one's personal choices. Just like women some males like female clothes more than male clothes, they fit their body better and feel very good on, can't the public understand that he sees female clothing the same way she sees them?

    There was a recent thread where a number of young people are gender fluid, they are accepted by their peers, they wear the look they like and could care less about what anyone else thinks, HOO RAY for them.

    Our society has changed so much and a lot of the changes have become the norm, wonder why CDing hasn't had the same acceptance??????

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    The "standard" seems to be fixed. A woman wearing male clothes is considered to be stylish while a man wearing female clothes is considered to be abnormal. It seems to have something to do with propriety where men are seen as independent movers, shakers and problem solvers while women are considered to be meek and submissive. Well we all know that is BS but still society holds on to the ideal. So, it's basically up to us to debunk that individually.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  3. #3
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    Couple of things with your analogy. I think the 2 would be viewed differently by many in society. few would question the male on his choice for dinner but many would wonder why the female isn't eating healthier, especially if she is a bit overweight. Some may ask themselves why not a side salad and water or with the burger?
    My generation has trouble wrapping its head around the why would a male want to do something so feminine as to wear women's clothing and do all the extra work/effort to appear like a woman. Even if we just do the clothing thing and no effort to pass they can't get past the why and also the common tie in that only gay guys would do that. In a word. ignorance!
    deebra, I do hope you enjoy your burger, fries and shake!

  4. #4
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    I've always maintained you cannot compare a woman wearing masculine clothing with a man wearing feminine clothing. I know of exactly zero women for whom wearing masculine clothing (and this goes for my wife who is the more masculine dresser of our couple) has any kind of sexual connotation; most do it for comfort and convenience. On the other hand there are many in our community for whom crossdressing is a sexual fetish. Even for those of us (like myself) who don't dress to get off, we still, or at least I, still get a big rush out of crossdressing; it's exciting, it's sensual, and it simply feels good and thus our motivations are much different than masculine-dressing women. For most women a man dressed in women's clothing is also a huge turn-off; men just have to imagine what a pant-wearing woman looks like naked . Men and women are wired differently when it comes to sexuality. We just have to accept this difference, and learn to work with it. While our youth are more accepting of gender fluidity, most young folks are still fairly binary and boy still wants to meet girl, boy wants girl to look like girl; and girl for boy to look like boy. I can say that I very much doubt that my kids, otherwise very accepting of sexual diversity (as they were brought up to be, both my wife and I emphasized being accepting), would want to marry someone gender fluid themselves. A small minority does not define the sexuality of the majority. As much as I would like to "normalize" my situation, in my mind it is still abnormal and often causes me great suffering.

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    You lost me the moment you compared eating burgers to cross dressing. Really?

  6. #6
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    Weather permitting in the Great Pacific Northwest today my wife and I will be venturing forth attired in jean shorts, similar if not the exact same tee shirt (graphics the same), white sweat socks and athletic footwear. She wear cotton underpants. I do also, but, male design. She will be wearing a bra since she has boobs and I don't. Except for the bra, you're right. Because we have another commitment this evening we will not be eating that hamburger.

    Now, later if I did have an accepting with and I decided to doll myself up like I do some times I'll don a wig (really thin on top normally), makeup, pretty dress and heels and hosiery, slip and panty, and, a BRA! As my wife said thirty plus years ago to me, "Why would a man who has nothing to stuff into a bra want to wear a bra?" I could not give her an answer.

    Yes, woman have co-opted some male clothing due to functionality, and, definitely have modified male clothing to fit the female form. I'm thinking of those NFL commercials where the woman no longer has to borrow/steal her husband's/boyfriend's favorite team jersey. She can buy her own with a decidedly female cut. I know my wife and I can present together wearing the same brand and color of jeans with no adornments. I don't bother with any female pants/shorts so I really do not know if the flap on the zipper is made differently?

    If it's only the clothes, why wear that bra? Why not just wear that pretty sun dress without a bra? I think you and I know the answer to that question. It's more than just wearing the clothing designed and marketed for women. The question is "Why do you want to pretend to be a woman?"

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    Stephanie47, it's lunch time, as I set here eating my burger, fries and shake and dressed I would like to answer a couple of your questions. Tell your wife the reason I love to wear a soft, sexy, transparent bra is because I have a nice pair of silicone D forms to fill it. What else could I do with them if didn't put on a bra and give them a nice place to hang out....or should I say in.

    And the answer to the second question, fourth paragraph is because women are curvy, sexy, pretty and it makes me feel oh so good to dress and try to be one. Who wouldn't want to dress and look like the women on FOX NEWS T.V.? If your wife was only male and a CD she would understand why we get more out of wearing the clothes than she does.

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    Deebra,
    The problem is a if man strays from the normal he must be a deviant, a woman's normal is far broader, she may get the odd look but no connotation will be made.

    The recent thread about gender fluidity really was about a younger generation making a statement, once we're married with kids our outlook changes we stop making statements and get on with life .

    To a point I do agree with your statement that things are changing , I am very surprised as an older CDer how much I am being accepted!

  9. #9
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    An answer to Stephanie... I wear a bra because I do have b sized moob or boobs. So a bra does feel good on. And the other quest why do we want to emulate a woman. I am gender fluid and flow between masculine and feminine. Now when I am feminine I want to reflect that and that is what they do. But when I am masculine yep I m masculine and in hot jeans cotton undies and boots and a T-shirt, yes in a hundred degrees it is so much nicer in a skirt anyways so if the women want to give them up men should wear them. The Scottish were right in their attire as it keeps your privates cooler and that also helps performance.
    Part Time Girl

  10. #10
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    I agree whole heartedly. This is a bit of a peeve with me. Why can't I wear what I like as long as it is descent and not offending?

    " Just like women some males like female clothes more than male clothes, they fit their body better and feel very good on, can't the public understand that he sees female clothing the same way she sees them?"

    This is exactly how I feel. I simply prefer female attire, find it comfortable and like the way I look in it. Given the complements I sometimes get from poeple I know and don't know, there seems to be no real problem.

    When I look at some of the what I consider weird styles which males and females are wearing today, I think I am usually more properly dressed. I am offended by GGs in their 20's wearing so called short pants which are not only short but also tight fitting, I am offended. I find this attire lewd. When I was young they would have been arrested for indecent exposure.

    Leave me alone and let me wear what I like. Odd that some, but not many people might take offense at seeing a male in female attire but be quite content with a GG in attire fit for the bedroom.

  11. #11
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    Some here want the freedom just to wear the clothes. No make up, forms, wig, none of the "trappings". Just CD. However, others here want the freedom to express their transgendered selves. Simply wearing clothes of the opposite sex vs expressing a true transgendered self is two different things to me.

  12. #12
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    I just do my own thing I wear a bra everyday along with a pair of cotton panties no forms even when I ride my Harley or at work I just like the two never got into the rest of female attire Tried when I was younger did nothing for me but I am a crazy for. a bra been this since I was a little boy now 52 still the same

  13. #13
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    So why can't there be the same acceptance for what ever style, gender clothes one chooses to wear? <snip>
    Our society has changed so much and a lot of the changes have become the norm, wonder why CDing hasn't had the same acceptance??????
    Because what we eat does not change our perceived gender status. No one cares what we eat. They do care when we change our behavior and appearance to the opposite gender from what they feel we should be.

    Mens and women's roles in society are usually seen as different. Throughout history, men have been responsible for the safety of our community. In battle, it was the responsibility of each of us, to defend not just ourselves, but the men fighting along side of us. Now, crossdressers are assumed to be homosexual by the general population. They infer that a homosexual or crossdresser is not 1. Reliable as a soldier, 2. Potentially not able to live up to the responsibility of protecting his community, other soldiers, or his family, 3. Potentially disruptive if he might become romantically involved with other soldiers, as it may compromise his willingness to respond as a soldier should when they are in danger. All because they associate homosexuality with femininity. Women have always been seen as less physically and mentally able to fight, and less willing to sacrifice themselves for the protection of others in the community (except their children). So homosexuals (and crossdressers by association) are assumed to be unreliable to fight along side the 'normal' men. So we are not generally welcomed by other heterosexual males into their groups, because they think we are or will be weak (the same way the think about women). There is also the feeling that they don't want to associate with us, because they don't want other straight males to suspect any of them might also be homosexual. So basically, they don't want anything to do with us. Women may see us as a potential threat, especially as they age and aren't as physically attractive to their husbands as they used to be; men are hard wired to want to have sex with as many other women as possible. So if we look enough like a young, fertile female, we could potentially attract her husband away from her enough to screw up her marriage. Not common, but it has happened. Or, women may simply see us as just 'not good enough' to be part of their community. Last is the suspician that crossdressers/homosexuals are more likely to be a danger to their children, as many people have been led to believe that we are more likely to be child molesters than other groups. Does that help answer the question of why we are not readily accepted by everyone? Things may change, but change usually occurs slowly.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 07-09-2016 at 06:35 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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