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Thread: Women, is your attitude toward them better?

  1. #1
    Member Patrica Gil's Avatar
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    Women, is your attitude toward them better?

    As a person who has dressed since my teens and having passed a time or two in my lifetime the question comes to mind, how do you tr.eat women? Do you treat women better because dressing, or not? Someone once told me how my life is that of a woman, and more than just agreeing I must admit it works for me. So how do you treat women?

  2. #2
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    My wife always said that I was the perfect mate. Not that my interest in cross
    dressing was a big plus in her life, but I seemed to have a better sense of how
    to treat a "Lady". Many men have this "Macho" attitude, and women do not like
    to be treated as second class people.
    I always showed deep respect for her, and today it is hard to fine anyone showing
    respect for anyone.
    Rader

  3. #3
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I like to think that I treat women (and as for that matter, all people) well, though I can't say for certain it has anything to do with my cross dressing. My wife has told me that I treat her well and that it may have something to do with my strong feminine side. If she only knew!

    Beth

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
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    I really don't think you can make a case that cross dressing improves one;s outlook on how to treat women. It may be the issue of the "cart before the horse." Almost every psychologist or therapist I've encountered over the years has stated how one treats others is formed within the first four years of life. There are few cross dressers who were dolled up as little girls by their mothers or aunts 24/7.

    The people I have been drawn to over the years (friends), male or female, all treat their spouses with respect. I will concede a cross dresser probably will treat other people in minority positions in life better than others because he also yearns for respect. I know many many men who truly treat their wives with total respect, and, still find something mind boggling about a man wanting to appear as a woman. They are more accepting of transgender men and woman than cross dressers.

    In a nut shell I don't think I would treat my wife, daughter, granddaughter and daughter-in-law or any other women differently if I was not a cross dresser.

  5. #5
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I treat everyone equally and for who they are as a person.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  6. #6
    Woman first, Trans second
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    Could you define what you mean by treating women better? I think there are a lot of angles you could look at this from, and I'm interested to know which you're thinking of.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I treat my SO quite well and I have always treated women quite well. But I had a macho attitude much earlier in life and I know that women want to be appreciated. I think because we think more like them that we have better relationships even though we crossdress.
    Part Time Girl

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Stephanie47,
    I find the statement about forming how we treat people happens in the first four years difficult to accept. To me it's continuous, we meet a variety of people through our lives all with different characteristics, if we wish to communicate with them we may have to adopt a new attitude, so they also change us . That's how we evolve as human beings, surely if we remain with our knowledge of people from the age of four we would never adopt and adapt and mature.

    This may partly answer the OPs question, our attitude to women will change with age anyway. If you you wish to modify that by seeing it through a CDers eyes it could go either way , we may have a better attitude because we try and see it from a women's point of view and try and be in tune with them. On the other side some may be jealous of women and their lives and have a poor attitude , or even may hate thier partners and possibly women in general because of the lack of acceptance of their CDing.

    Personally I feel I have a better attitude to women because of my CDing , the more I open up to them the better their attitude is to me, I do feel you become more in tune with women when they know you understand what it's like to be one. I mean that in the sense of clothes and makeup .
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-07-2016 at 01:05 PM.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    But I had a macho attitude much earlier in life and I know that women want to be appreciated.
    So you wasn't always Gender fluid? That makes no sense?
    Last edited by Lorileah; 07-07-2016 at 02:00 PM.

  10. #10
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Becky, why doesn't it make sense? It's not unusual for people to grow and change.

    Zooey, my thought on the OP is that when people start presenting as women and start seeing how, in general, women are treated by others, they get a new perspective. The question to me asks "now that you have walked that mile in hr heels, do you see things from a different angle?" I know I wasn't ever intentionally disrespectful to women. In fact I think I was opposite. However, when I started being in public more I did see how people treat women differently. I know of several instances where I have been treated like I lost intelligence.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Lorileah,
    I can see where your comment is coming from , women do tend to have a different knowledge base than men, sadly that comes over on some quiz programs, men appear more intelligent because of their general knowledge level, most women don't excel at that but they aren't stupid but somehow allow themselves to be put down for it.

  12. #12
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    I have always treated women with the utmost respect and compassion. Like the gift they can be to our lives.

    CDing has shown me how much work the attempt at beauty is.
    How much work long hair, nails, makeup is.
    How cruel the beauty machine is.
    Most of all I have experienced first hand the dangers and predatory nature of men.

    So I always have had a good attitude towards women. Now I have a bit better knowledge what their lives are like.

    And I will continue to treat them as the pearls they are.

  13. #13
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    I treat them the same as ever. I don't see why anything would change.

  14. #14
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I would like to think my cross dressing as no effect on the way I treat women. I would like to think I treat all people like humans and show them all respect and treat them all equally. Hope that is true.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Brandy Mathews's Avatar
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    I have ALWAYS treated women very well, was brought up that way. But cross dressing made me do it even more I think because I can relate to them , in a way. Got to admit, I am a lot softer inside when I dress and even when I don't.
    Bree
    Brandy Mathews

  16. #16
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Yes and no. I have witnessed first hand wild rage in some women, and i tell you, it totally scares me and turns me off, and it is the one thing about GG's i do not want to emulate!! It can be said of guys, too. Out of control anger is ugly! And in me, very ugly. However, i do feel that part of me, is more considerate of what women deal with, when i go out dresses. Unwanted attention! So far, in the past few years, i have not gotten much , if any definite attention, though. I walked down a sidewalk, on a busy street several times, in a fairly sexy dress, and, there were no honks, beeps, or calls or whistles, but, i know if i went out more, soon, there would be something. I can never perfectly understand women. I have big problems even understanding my crazy self! I would rather be around women than brutish men. But, i open doors for both guys and GG's, and try to treat all with kindness.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 07-07-2016 at 11:36 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN. See my photos and videos on FLICKR - Alice Longstems.

  17. #17
    Member Ellie Summer's Avatar
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    Bree took the words out of my mouth. I always treated ladies right, I was lucky enough to have parents who raised me that way. Dressing has allowed me, on a personal level, to realize even further what it's like to want to look beautiful for myself, and not for anyone else.

  18. #18
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    Although I have always treated women with respect, by crossdressing I have come to identify with them more closely.

  19. #19
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    Some things one could notice that would change your perspective on women:
    1. Men talk over you, all the time
    2 Men either find you beddable, or a non-entity
    3.That creepy guy who you are NOT interested in - he may mean to rape you
    4. You are held to impossible appearance double standards
    5. Time management is a big problem, because you are expected to do things men aren't.
    6. You are not expected to have a whole lot of good ideas

    Oh there's lots more I could list.,,

  20. #20
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    My dressing never really had any significant impact on how I interacted with women - I treat them as I would another person, with due respect and dignity. I hope I am living it out. That being said, in my earlier days I definitely had an extremely distorted perception of female beauty that I held myself to. That's only on the surface at best; I cannot claim to know (firsthand) what anything feels like for a GG, regardless of where my identity lies.

    I'm not out in public yet though, so I'll withhold any further comment above this.

  21. #21
    Woman first, Trans second
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    Good list Paula.

    My favorite is the one where men (for me, most often in/around the Tenderloin in SF) love to tell me "Smile, baby, you're so pretty you gotta smile" when I walk by, and then follow me for a block and a half while continuing to shout when I don't respond. I especially enjoy the part where they call me a bitch (or worse) for not swooning over their antics. Thankfully, they've all given up and walked away so far, though I usually have the safety off of my pepper spray by that point just in case.

    ...and people wonder why women can be distrustful of men, and don't have much choice but to operate in "condition yellow" a lot of the time. Meanwhile, we're still expected to be smiling, open, and welcoming to pretty much everybody. "Be careful! But never let anybody see that you're uncomfortable!"

    These are the types of things I would love for more men to actually experience firsthand and understand. When women talk about walking a mile in our shoes, we're not actually talking about heels...
    Last edited by Zooey; 07-08-2016 at 10:47 AM.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  22. #22
    Gender adventurer JamieG's Avatar
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    I don't think dressing has changed the way I treat women. My mother, who was a smart and capable woman, taught me to treat all women with respect. Now, perhaps because I didn't somehow view women as lesser-beings, this allowed me to get in touch with my feminine side, and in part contributed towards my crossdressing... hard to say. Of course, I realize there are some men who dress for the humiliation aspect, but that's not me.

  23. #23
    Junior Member amandagurl2014's Avatar
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    I don't know if it makes me treat them better as I have always had respect for women. What I dont like is seeing other men mistreat women or women that have no respect for themselves. What CD does for me is a acquiring a greater understanding of girls and women that I would not had otherwise.
    I sure do wish I looked as good as my avatar!

  24. #24
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Paula, Sad but true. Many guys need to change.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN. See my photos and videos on FLICKR - Alice Longstems.

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I treat women like the goddess's they are.If she's not a total b^*#h.
    Angie

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