Perception ???

[deebra]

Just read Jenniferathome's post on how accepting and helpful a 70 year old S.A. was when she was buying a dress. Even though it's so great to hear a woman that age that was raised in old school thinking was so accepting, open minded and positive about males crossdressing into female clothing makes one wonder why some are comfortable with it and others aren't. Let me share some of my encounters. While trying on and walking around the store in women's shoes in Payless, Burlington, D.S.W. and Rack Room the women middle age and up were accepting, saw nothing wrong with me wearing heels and boots and complimentary. After buying 3 inch heels in Payless and walking around the mall I passed some teenagers and twenties females and I was the target of a lot of their laughter, they couldn't have orgasmed any better. Males have never noticed. The younger generation should be more accepting with their gender fluid and from A to Z clothing, haircuts and appearance; the older gen. should be more conservative in old school dressing and repulsed in a man wearing anything female. I would really like to know what's going on in women's minds when seeing a man wearing what is sold in the women's department. Like why are some accepting and others not, same for wives. Anybody have an opinion on "How They Think Women See Us Today" in this anything goes world; for example your answers could be and also address:

1/ 15% like it, 75% don't care one way or the other, they don't condemn or compliment and 10% are repulsed.

Also
1/ Why shouldn't men wear bikini swim suits just like women (why do men's suits go from waist to below knees and women wear string bikinis)
2/ What's wrong with men wearing tapered heel women's boots with girl boot cut jeans (women's boots make your foot look smaller and you prefer "the look" even though it's sold as women's.

[2B Natasha]

It all comes down to life experience. The older you get the more life experience you get and the grey area of right and wrong or acceptable and non-acceptable becomes larger. When your young. The world is almost entirely black and white. Very little grey area. You are either right or wrong.

[Tracii G]

Don't follow the rules and live the way you want to.
Men don't have to cover their chest because they don't have female breasts is why they don't wear bikinis is a pretty good guess I would think.
If you wanted to wear one in guy mode go ahead be a trend setter.
People will laugh at anything different they always have.

[ClaudineD]

Push the envelope.......appearance(blending) is the real key.....trust me, when you blend with the crowd around you there will be nary a glance.....people are just so absorbed into themselves....but true...young girls are VERY critical as they are still in the mode of looking what others wear and are more likely to clock not just clothes, but who is wearing them....

[NancySue]

Generally speaking, the conservative, Bible Belt Midwest just isn't ready for us. My sense is the public immediately jumps to the conclusion we're all gay or bi, of which many are, especially the flamboyant ones, which is OK, but there are many heterosexual too. Also, there's a basic lack of information and knowledge about our love of dressing. My wife and I don't understand the "whys", but we know it is and always, to some degree, will be with me/us. We've chosen to make lemonade out of lemons. Yes, I'm very fortunate to have a supportive, helpful wife. We, carefully, go out occasionally to an out of town shopping mall, however, as much as we blend in, are aware. Discovery would have both individual and social consequences. But, the urge/need is there. I had a positive shopping experience recently. I was looking for a sleeveless blouse when approached by a SA offering to help. Normally, I respond with "just looking". At that moment, I found exactly what I was looking for and took it off the rack. She smiled, held it up and said, "yes, this will look very nice on her". I smiled back. I believe she knew. Couldn't wait to get home and try it on. When fully dressed, I wanted to return to the store and show her. I still may. 👠💄👗

[Pat]

Even though it's so great to hear a woman that age that was raised in old school thinking was so accepting, open minded and positive about males crossdressing into female clothing makes one wonder why some are comfortable with it and others aren't.

Really? You don't understand why all human beings aren't exactly the same? I'm always amazed when I run into that mindset on a TG site.

Why shouldn't men wear bikini swim suits just like women (why do men's suits go from waist to below knees and women wear string bikinis)

Nobody's stopping you except you. If you think the only swimsuits for men are as you describe, then you need to shop different places.

What's wrong with men wearing tapered heel women's boots with girl boot cut jeans

Again, nobody's stopping you except you. It seems like you're projecting attitudes onto society to rationalize your choices.

[Kate Simmons]

Why? Well, it just isn't done by "manly men". The very idea.Pshaw. So, the bottom line is I guess we are "womanly men". Works for me Hon.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I have been astonished at how few comments my skirt wearing causes. I know that many more notice, and even if they don't disapprove, they aren't exactly into it either. Women from 30 up are the most likely to make comments, very approving ones mostly, but have had some nice compliments from younger ones too. I can't really define what would make someone approve or disapprove, though I've had a few customers who initially seemed put off, later come round and become friendly after the first visit.

As far as the bikini thing goes, I don't wear women's tops, that includes bikini tops, though I have gone out in bikini bottoms, athletic cut ones that you would be almost impossible to tell from male speedos. I've got some men's ones that are briefer cut that the women's for that matter! I sometimes get weirded out looks, in either one, depending on where I am. Swimming laps with the exercise crowd at the pool? Nada. At the public Hot Springs? Yeah, some of the locals do a double take, but they just assume I'm a European tourist and then ignore me. I tried the baggy shorts, to "fit in" but.....shudder, that's just a nasty feeling. I'm gonna wear swim briefs, deal with it dude.

[Stephanie47]

A lot of what you perceive as acceptance is predicated on the concept of NIMBY, Not In My Backyard. If you encounter a seventy year old woman working as a sales associate she probably has seen it all. Does she have a cross-dressing husband at home? Or a son? Or a nephew? Does she has a gay or lesbian child? All of those possibilities have had an influence of her thinking. She may be accepting of a cross-dresser in the store because it comes with her job, but, at home? Maybe, not so accepting. A couple of years ago I was looking for a particular half slip by Velrose in a number of Catherine's. At one store the two middle age women working at the time were so unwelcoming it was obvious they thought I was a cross-dresser. I had to assume it was because I am six foot and 195 pounds. I could have been looking for my wife, but, their life experience seemed to be a large man in shop = cross dresser. Anyway, they were on edge the entire time, even though there were other people in the store, if they thought I was some sort of felon looking to rob the place. Down the road I stopped at another Catherine' and was helped by a cheerful early thirties woman, who was helpful. Nope, that half slip was discontinued, but, other stores may still have some on the racks. I stopped at two other Catherine's. Another late twenties woman was cheerful and helpful. Another middle age woman also cheerful and helpful,

I have not idea what any of the women may have said in the break room. "Another one of THEM came in today!!!"

The girls at the mall. I would suspect group dynamics are at work. Cross-dressing is out of the norm, so when one girl espouses negativity and giggles the others just join in because, well, she may not want to be out of the group mind set.

I will say something related to wives. If you sold yourself to a woman with one set of goods, then she has a right to re-evaluate her perception of her husband. A material distortion of the facts may be cause for renegotiating the agreement. Life experience and genetics modify anyone's perceptions and behavior.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
Taking the point about the girls finding it funny, they often don't do it to mean any harm, it's the unusual or unexpected they are reacting to and girls do it differently to boys.

I'll give you an example. When I was shopping in Next for some shoes I'd had a problem with sizing so on the third occasion I said I would try them on, the young SA asked if I wanted a private area but I declined. She couldn't see me from the paydesk so asked how I was doing ? With that I walked round to where she could see me, I thought she was going to have kittens, a second SA heard her and came to look initially her reactions were the same , a senior SA wondered what all the fuss was about and came to look, I had to stop her using her smart phone to take a picture. I'm sure they didn't think I was weird , it was just out of the ordinary but in a fun way to them. As I left I heard one say , " I'd love to see my dad in heels like that !"

It's not all condemnation but something out of the ordinary , people react in different ways to it ! Very few people are that narrow minded to react really badly.

[sometimes_miss]

Generally, women don't care, unless it's THEIR boyfriend/husband that they suddenly find dressed up like a girl, then all bets are off. But they would prefer that we be 'normal' men. As far as 'what should be', well, what should be and what is are often two very different things. Remember, too that how people treat you to your face may differ from how they talk about you when you're gone. I work with the public, and see lots of discussion about customers after the fact that isn't positive at all. Even educated professional people who should really know better, can belittle you, think you're crazy, or even still think that being a crossdresser automatically makes you gay AND a pedophile/danger to their family. Consider how many still believe that the thought of homosexuals getting married is some kind of danger to the sanctity of marriage. As always, the average person can be pretty stupid, and half of them are stupider than that.