This next week will be... interesting

[Ceera]

This afternoon my daughter and I are anticipating the arrival of a female house guest who will be staying with us for a week. She's my little sister's "Best Friend Forever", a lady who I will refer to as Suzy, though that is not her real name. Suzy has been best friends with my sister since they were seven or so, and both are now over 50. Suzy will be staying at our place to save money, as well as to visit us, rather than using a hotel while she works a several-day seminar in our town that is being held at a nearby hotel. When we were all kids, I was just enough older than Suzy that she didn't consider me a romantic interest at all. I was her 'big brother from another mother'. So I treated her as just one of my sister's favorite friends, and an 'informally adopted sister'. Today she's a happily married mom with two kids about my daughter's age.

Well, Suzy doesn't know about my feminine side, unless my sister clued her in to some of the femmy things my sister noticed, on her last overnight visit to my home, about me (pierced ears, shaved arms, and feminine fingernails, though they were only a natural French cut with clear polish) and about some of the girl clothes in my closet (some girl jackets, but not too much else that outed me). My sister had to leave before we could properly 'have the talk' about what she had noted, and what it meant. So while she no doubt has suspicions, she doesn't firmly know yet that I am dressing, or why I'm showing these feminine traits that she hadn't seen six months ago. (Last Christmas I didn't have pierced ears or pretty nails, and when I visited my sister, and I wore long sleeves.)

As my sister's best friend, I can't hold it against her if Suzy tells my sister whatever she might notice about me. So it's possible I might get outed not only to Suzy, but also indirectly to my sister. I'm not going to hide that I have pierced ears, or painted fingernails and toenails, or shaved arms, legs and body. I don't plan on dressing in front of her unless she does ask questions, and I have put away most of my girly stuff. Not hidden it - I just don't have purses and makeup and wigs and girly clothes laid out in plain sight. But one look in my closet or my bathroom cabinets or drawers will speak volumes...

Yet at the same time, Suzy might not notice enough to out me. She will be away from 7 AM until 10 PM on most of the nights she will be here, and sleeping much of the rest of the time. The bedroom she will use and the bathroom she will use are at the other end of the house from my bedroom, closet and bathroom. We're not sure how much social interaction time her visit will spare her, though we do hope to do at least one dinner together in my home. I've also invited her to bring her swimsuit so she can enjoy our hot tub, but I don't know that her schedule will allow both of us to enjoy the tub at the same time.

It will be an interesting week, to be sure...

[Laura912]

This sounds like a stay the course and see what happens sort of thing. You may have the opportunity to tell one or both, or just have a nice week together.

[Lana Mae]

hope everything works out for the best!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephaniew]

I agree, it could be a interesting time at Ceera house. I applaud your courage to take on this challenge

[Ceera]

Right now, I am a bit anxious, but not overly worried. Aside from my pretty nails and gold ball stud earrings and shaved arms, the only visible feminine thing I have on is flat-soled women's sandals, which show my painted toenails. It's a warm day, and they are, quite frankly, the most comfortable footwear that I own. And they aren't overly fem. Unless you had seen them for sale in the women's section, you wouldn't just assume they were girl's sandals.

Aside from that, I have on men's blue jeans and a dark blue t-shirt with wolves howling at a full moon decorating the chest, and a men's belt.

If Suzy is observant and asks questions, I'll answer honestly, and tell her that if she feels she needs to pass the info on to my sister, I don't mind. But I'll also tell her I am in no rush to out myself to my family, and that I had been hoping to talk to my sister about it later this year, at a time when she has less stress going on in her own life.

Just going to go with the flow. I doubt that either my sister nor Suzy will react badly, once the initial surprise wears off.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

About three hours later now. Our guest arrived, and before she even brought in her suitcase, she asked me, "So, what's with the painted nails?" Didn't sound critical, just friendly curiosity. I started with, "Well, it's something I started doing recently", and I asked her if my sister had given her a heads-up and asked her to ask me about my nails. No, my sister didn't even know about the visit, she said. They mostly tended to talk around their birthdays and on the holidays, and this came up in one of the dry spells where they were both too busy with their own lives to chat.

Long story short, I came out to my guest, and she was completely cool with it! She actually asked if I was Trans before I even finished telling her about my sister's observations on her last visit. And she was pleased I trusted her enough to be open about it. Turns out Suzy has several lesbian friends, and that the seminars she helps teach on personal effectiveness often get Trans people participating, to help them get a handle on their lives. So I'll be free to do as I please while she is here, and I have another close friend who accepts me. Yay!

[Jamie Lynn]

Sounds like another winning situation, Ceera! I'm happy for you!

[Kiwi Primrose]

I'm glad that all went well. It is great to have someone outside the family that you can talk to.
I can see you building up a strong friendship.

[Ceera]

Yes. I've known Suzy for about 45 years. And while for the last 25 or so years we hadn't seen much of each other, we did stay in touch at least a little via my sister. She lives about an hour and a half away, but will be there for me to talk to if I ever need her.

[EffyJaspers]

Congrats and a happy ending. On a small note, since I don't know the community too well I would ask if you are trans[gender] or just CD.... or you used trans as short for transvestite, or something else. Clarify trans for me, as it took me a while to find out what GG meant on here.
And not a happy ending as that was the first day with her here? To many more days of bliss.

[Ceera]

Effy, I am Transgender, and Gender Fluid. The second term, gender fluid, means my mind has aspects of both genders, and I can be equally comfortable dealing with the world in either gender mode. I am living between 25% and 50% of my time as Ceera right now, aiming for 50% of each. Unlike a lot of my male to female transgender sisters here, I do not have a gender dysphoria issue. I don't feel uncomfortable with having a body that doesn't seem to match my mental gender. I just enjoy both sides of my personality. I acknowledged my inner girl about two years ago, after more than 50 years of repressing any feminine or gay impulses. I'd say I am more than a crossdresser or transvestite because for me, it's not a fetish or sexual thing, but rather it's about getting out and being appreciated as an attractive woman. It just feels 'right' when I am out and about as Ceera, whether I am going out for drinks and dancing with my lesbian friends, or getting groceries for my family or going on a hike with my dog and a group of friends. My mind definitely takes on a different outlook on certain things when I am 'in female mode', and people react to me as if I was born a girl. I'm bi, but generally prefer women, which makes my fem side more of a lesbian. Most of my fem side's social friends are lesbians. Yet I find that when acting as a girl, I am more receptive to male attention than when acting as a male. Probably that is due to how many years my male aspect was repressing any desires that were not 'straight'.

Near the start of 2014 I had lost both of my parents a few years earlier, and was recently widowed, and I decided to take stock of my true feelings and experiment with what felt right. I'd been attracted to wearing feminine clothes and shoes for many years - as in I would walk past the womens' clothing or shoe displays, and wish I was a girl so I could wear some of those pretty things. When I allowed myself to get some women's things, I found it wasn't just a fetish for me - I deeply wanted to be able to fully pass as a female and get out and be seen. And when I finally did it, I felt so free and happy I couldn't believe it. That was when I realized it went way beyond just cross dressing, and that I was actually gender fluid. I didn't want to be 'a guy in a dress'. I wasn't doing it for sexual thrills, or to attract a sexual partner. When I present myself to the world as a girl, I found that I need to be perceived by others as a lady. At the same time, I didn't feel that urgency that so many transgender people feel to make that transformation a permanent, full-time thing. While I could quite happily live full time as a woman, I can also still happily live and interact as a male. Perhaps, at some point, when I am fully out to my friend and family, I may decide that I do want to be a full time girl. But for now, I am keeping my options open, and we will see where things go.

This afternoon I'll likely spend the second half of the day en-femme. I have some banking to do as Ceera. ('She' has her own bank account.) I'll probably do some grocery shopping. And I plan to go to a women's softball game early this evening, and be the team's cheerleader, complete with the female uniform and pom poms. When I return home, I'll remain en-femme, so my guest can meet and interact with my female side.

[Lana Mae]

All is well that ends well!! I am so glad it worked out so well for you!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Adelaide]

Wonderful. Can't to hear how it went with Suzy.

[Ceera]

The visit is still going quite well. Today is the last day of Suzy's seminars, and they end at about 6 PM. Then she has to help with cleanup, but should be back soon enough to allow my daughter and I to take her to restaurant for dinner.

She's told her husband about me, and he is also cool with it. They won't tell my sister. Both are aware that my brother in law likely won't care for hearing about this side of me, but they also know I really don't care about my brother in law's opinion of me. He already dislikes me, and I don't care for him. we are cordial to each other when we have to interact, only for the sake of my sister. It really doesn't matter to me if he ends up disliking me even more.

Suzy has sat and chatted with me while I was en-femme, and has asked several very considerate and honestly curious questions so she could understand where I am coming from. She's also chatted with me in my 'femmy male mode' - presenting male but wearing female jeans and sandals, earrings, and painted nails. The whole time she has been totally supportive of my feminine side and my choices about embracing that side of myself in my life. She's pretty sure my sister will be okay with me as well.