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Thread: Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Brandy Mathews's Avatar
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    Meghan,
    I was outted years ago. Word got around like wild fire. People are so hateful. My sister called me a freak. I get a lot of snickers and people talking under their breath because they don't have the guts to say it to my face. So no, I would say that you would not want to be known as " The crossdresser".
    Bree
    Brandy Mathews

  2. #27
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    Bree,

    Has it gotten better over time?

  3. #28
    Member Alexa CD's Avatar
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    Absolutely not, people can think whatever they like of me. I'll never tell them what to think of me.

  4. #29
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    Meghan, there is a thread open on the term "GG" being offensive. Now, let's pick your wording apart! "The Crossdresser?" Is there one and only one "crossdresser," the CROSSDRESSER. Perhaps, am I to be known as "a" cross dresser. I suspect to be called "the crossdresser" is to cast a dispersion upon me, because as Roberta Lynn points out the term negates everything else you may be or have achieved. There is a long list of adjectives that may be used to describe me as a man. If I draw up a list, the last entry would be "a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing on occasion."

    One of the problems I see repeated on this site is wives automatically putting "a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing on occasion" at the top of the list instead of the bottom.

  5. #30
    Member Toni Citara's Avatar
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    Just as a rereference, along the lines of this thread, check out "crossdressing truck driver".

    Most of the Articles do not reference the name of the employee that was fired by Winn-Dixie for his non work-related activities.

    Most of the news articles and online references do not refer to this gentleman has a 20-year veteran over-the-road truck driver, they only refer to him as "the crossdressing truck driver".

    After being fired from his position, lawsuits were filed, numerous articles in newspapers as well as television parts, and online references, literally destroyed this man and his wife. All for something that should not matter.
    “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.” (Eddie Izzard)

  6. #31
    Pooh Bear Judith96a's Avatar
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    To answer the OP's question... No! Quite apart from all the unnecessary negative connotations, "the crossdresser" doesn't define who I am to anything like the same degree as "IT guy", " engineer " or even "radio ham" might!

  7. #32
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Absolutely not.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  8. #33
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    As far as I am concerned I really don't care. However in deference to my family I pick my spots and who I tell. When I retire and move and I'm somewhere that no one knows my family, I'll wear what ever I want and feel good about it.
    If I'm known as the local crossdresser but am treated respectfully, so be it. I've spent time out and about dressed, I know I don't really pass but I feel good about me and never had a problem.

  9. #34
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    As Popeye says I am what I am, I don't hide that I crossdress. If asked I say yes. I don't start conversations with hi I'm a crossdresser, sometimes I have to dress male as with work. I'ts all over my facebook so a little investigation will out me to the vanilla world. It's happened already at one place I worked, I just said yeah that's me outside of work, no problem, several questions but other than that nothing.

  10. #35
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    OMG! Definitions r SO DIFFICULT!
    Because to different folks they means different things!

    To naive vanillas I say I'm a, "Crossdresser". To vanillas that r familiar with CD's and trans I say, "Female impersonator". Here, I say, "Fetish dresser".

    What do I think I am? ME!!!!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #36
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    There is a group of people, such as family members and lab mates which it is better that ignore my crossdresser condition. For almost anyone else I am out of the closet, and I actually do not care, so in general I think the answer is yes. I like to be seen as the guy who crossdresses, because that is what I do, and I do not feel shame about it, so I do not care if they know me as the crossdresser.

  12. #37
    Senior Member Adelaide's Avatar
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    I'd like to be known as Adelaide, plain & simple.

  13. #38
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    I don't like the term I prefer eccentric, but I guess I am a crossdresser. I openly wear women's clothes. I don't try to pass as a woman or try to anymore. But, it is pretty obvious sometimes what I'm wearing. When I bend over and someone looks down my blouse and sees my lace bra or the bra lines it leaves little doubt. If I wear a stretchy top or sweater and the fabric stretches between the girls it is a give away. I'm sure people talk, but I have a lot of friends that it never comes up as to what I'm wearing unless I'm shopping with friends.

    It is not for everyone. I don't need a job and family all know.

  14. #39
    Member cdtraveler's Avatar
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    That's too narrow of a label for me and coming out would i think in my circles overshadow all other perceptions of me but who knows? Just not open to finding that out today!

  15. #40
    Member CatchQueen's Avatar
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    That's a very narrow label indeed...I definitely am that, but I also entertain transgender tendencies (which I have discussed in some vids at my YT channel). The bottom line is these labels are very difficult to work with...they always leave things uncovered and some of them just sound nasty...
    http://www.youtube.com/c/CatchQueen - My YouTube - I post there regularly

  16. #41
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I don't think I want to be necessarily know as "the Crossdresser"
    I would much rather be know as the nice guy, who likes to help others
    and like to dress in women's clothes at times.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  17. #42
    Member Glenda's Avatar
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    I really can't believe what I'm reading in this thread. If I'm not mistaken, we all found this site because we were searching the term "crossdresser" or something similar. And now so many of you want to deny what you are because you think it is the only thing that will define you? Or you believe the term is derogatory? Or you're afraid it is embarrassing? Or you prefer trans something because you think it validates you more?

    Not me! I am "the crossdresser" and am fairly proud of it. How can we ever expect acceptance from others if we can't even accept ourselves? It is just a label and no single label defines everything about a person. It makes me proud when friends and acquaintances accept this part of me. I've painted my toe nails and shaved my legs and arms for more than 20 years now. If someone asks why, I simply say, "I'm a crossdresser". I may get a funny look but the other people at the table or standing around are quick to come to my defense. They are all used to me and accept me for what I am. A good friend, a damn good pool player, pretty decent golfer, backgammon player, poker and domino player, worker, etc.

    Most people knew me before I discovered crossdressing so it was not the initial thing they knew me for. More recent friends have seen how others accept it are delighted when they actually get to meet "Glenda" because I'm just a crossdresser. I'm not full time. I don't dress to get reactions from people. If I attend a party as Glenda where some have never met her then I get all kinds of complements while others seem to be proud that I'm accepted by such a large and diverse group of people. If I'm out running errands as Glenda then I may stop by to have a beer or two at one of my favorite places. I live in Texas which most realize is a little redneck and conservative. I think it makes everyone proud that their world can accept me when all of the rest of the world seems afraid of "the crossdressers".

    It is strange but I choose to be open about this side of me. My first time was at the request of a girlfriend that wanted me to dress for a Halloween party. I had never worn women's clothing or make-up but after she finished getting me ready and placed the wig on my head, she stood back to see the finished product and exclaimed, "My God! You really are Glenda!" I was so comfortable that it was like I had been female my whole life but just never expressed it. I was like that at all four of the parties and bars that we went to that night. I went into the closet afterward to more fully explore this side of me but eventually came to the realization that I was worried about what people would say for no good reason. So I started going out to the store or shopping and eventually let my girlfriends convince me to go to our bars and other places where we had friends. I've never regretted it.

    If people never meet crossdressers or know they have friends who cross dress then how can we ever be accepted. It doesn't define us as individuals. It is only one part of who we are. I can't hide from friends or family by never letting them stop by if I'm dressed. I can't refuse to take a neighbor to the hospital after an accident because I have to change clothes first. I accept who I am and others do as well. It is not a dirty thing.

  18. #43
    Member Alexa CD's Avatar
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    Was going to have a reply here.. never mind.
    Last edited by Alexa CD; 07-16-2016 at 09:31 AM.

  19. #44
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    Well said Glenda. I share your "crossdressing doesn't define me" outlook. Still working on getting as far with friends and family as you have.


    Karen

  20. #45
    Aspiring Member
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    I want my Crossdressing to be Secretive, My Wife knows about it other that that I wont Broadcast it.
    Live Today as if it is your last day

  21. #46
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Meghan, Until society has evolved enough to not make ignorant snap decisions, no. I don't believe being known as acrossdresser is an adequate description of me, I am much more. Yes it is a part of me, but it doesn't define me, it is a single characteristic of my personality. Fun question, thanks. Brenda

  22. #47
    New Member realdesired's Avatar
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    Moreover i wanna be a girl

  23. #48
    Member wanda66's Avatar
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    Well put Glenda,

  24. #49
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    I still struggle with the term, really. I understand the wide variety of definitions and connotations that are attached to the term, and would therefore prefer not not to be confined under this small canopy. While I truly do enjoy the feminine clothing, Its not a clothing fetish for me. I really identify as someone more fully feminine along a gender gradient or curve. And I don't mean that I express as a limp-wristed femme fatale, either. But the clothing grounds me comfortably on the curve, allowing me to outwardly express how I feel inwardly. But I am also a grandfather who adores being with his grandchildren. And My wife and I are concerned that the lack of societal acceptance might threaten having full availability of those wonderful children. And I am not willing to jeopardize that relationship in any way. Great question to post! Thanks!

  25. #50
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    No. I don't want any label, and I'm not looking to crusade for making it more socially acceptable to dress. I admire the heck out off those that do, and those that live openly. My wife knows about my dressing and when I dress I do it at home. People that know me would say I am a strong supporter of acceptance of all diverse types. In being perceived as one of the "normals" I feel I have a stronger voice in influencing social bias towards acceptance. I'm sure others think differently, but that's where I am.

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