Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 57

Thread: Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

  1. #1
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,704

    Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

    Ok, so this is a tough question. And I don't expect everyone to have the same answer.

    Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

    Before you answer, consider the difference in one or two people knowing that you crossdress, certain populations (i.e. support groups, that one really cool bar, etc.), a larger group, maybe family, work, or pretty much everyone knowing. And consider the difference between wanting it, versus just being ok with it.

    Keep in mind, some people may, sorry WILL think of you as gay or a perv. But it might not matter to you. Also are there definetly some you don't ever want to know?

    I can not even honestly answer my own question. I vasilate on my own response. Some days I might think YES, some meh OK, and others Heck no, and even occasionally, I don't even want to know me as a crossdresser! So very weird.

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Poconos PA
    Posts
    18,972
    My answer would be that most people refer to me as Kate or Ericka (my club name). They may see that I CD but I honestly don't think that enters into the equation for the most part.They see who I am as a person not a thing.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  3. #3
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    N.E.Pennsylvania
    Posts
    4,701
    I think, for now, my answer is no. It would not be fair to be known at The Crossdresser. Afterall, it is just a part of me. Mostly, a small part of me. I am much more than just one label. I am multifaceted. Should I be known as the Hardworker? Or, as the Yeller?
    Maybe, it would be better if I am known as the hard-working, yelling crossdresser.
    Now, that I haven't really answered your question, I'll bow out.

    Sherrie
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  4. #4
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,570
    I'm quite happy where I am. Wife, a handful of service providers (hair, nails, makeup, skin care) and a handful of peeps from here. Other than my wife, nobody who knows me primarily as Fred knows about Michelle, and I am quite content to keep it that way. Hugs, Michelle

  5. #5
    Arell Roberta Lynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    NE Illinois
    Posts
    2,655
    Unfortunately being know as a crossdresser would over shadow or define anything else they knew about.
    You could be a concert pianist but you would be know as that crossdressing piano player.

    Roberta

  6. #6
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    San Francisco Area
    Posts
    11,689
    To those who know me as Allie, they already know what and who I am, so the label does not matter. To strangers I have been identifying myself as Transgender or trans without and further details. I prefer that self identification to saying crossdresser. I do that because in today's rapidly changing world I hope that brings a little more credibility to me and us to the real world people out there. I am happy and proud of me and who I am when out to those people, just not close to home yet. I am not out to family and am seriously considering starting that process. Taking that first step in telling a family member or friend is the hardest so far for me. I do not yet feel that I need to tell them, but am beginning to want to tell them, if that makes sense.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    8,440
    I sort of agree with Allie. I am out to my daughter-knows, accepts, but doesn't want to see daddy dressed. Want to tell my son but occassion has not arose. As of now, I am just me! Lana Mae is my dressed or feminine side! Yes I am a crossdresser but that is just a label and not who I am!! Hugs Lana Mae

  8. #8
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Midwest U.S.
    Posts
    7,358
    SherriePall, and Roberta said a lot for me. I go out only about six times a year, mainly to walk around a Norhern Illinois University park, then to an evening city ban concert in a park. I would guess some of the older folks at the concerts have me pegged as "the crossdresser", or gay, or TS, by now. So far only one person has been a little rude, so far. Sadly, this part of me would overshadow any other noble things about me, as Roberta said.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  9. #9
    Member Toni Citara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Posts
    433
    I can see the pros and cons of having his label affixed to a person. The people that know you most intimately, friends, family members and co-workers, will always apply that label to you regardless of what you're doing.

    Myself I have a few friends that are very familiar with my crossdressing and once in awhile I get some teasing. Asking me if I'm wearing panties or pantyhose or something like that.

    It is what it is, I can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, and that's one of the reasons why I feel such a weight off my chest after coming clean with my friends. Which was probably easier for me than most because I have done some drag shows and for them to see my legs shaved or wigs at my place seems "normal for toni" type of thing.
    Last edited by Toni Citara; 07-14-2016 at 03:50 PM.
    “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.” (Eddie Izzard)

  10. #10
    Junior Member Emma or Darren's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    South East QLD Australia
    Posts
    45
    I've often thought about this but you think of any person you tell and the chain of people that will find out and personally I don't want the judgment.
    On another level I haven't yet gone full ensemble yet and when I do I want Emma to be a whole different person unrecognizable as Darren (probably unrealistic but a girl/boy can dream)
    not be labeled as a CD although I am comfortable with that label to myself.
    Only my wife and 2 sons know and the oldest is extremely supportive
    Emma xx

  11. #11
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    The South
    Posts
    2,051
    I'd prefer not to be known as "the crossdresser", at least within the culture I currently live in. As others have said, at least within this culture, it doesn't matter what else you are, or what your accomplishments may be, you will always be considdered "the crossdressing _____" (fill in the blank)

    It's not that I'm even particularly ashamed of the label. It's just that pretty much everyone else thinks I should be, and on top of constantly having to explain/defend myself, there'd be a multitude of negative impacts to deal with.

    So no ... I don't let my freak flag fly at home.if I'm going out in girl mode, it's gotta be an out of town thing. Call me a coward of you want, I s'pose it's probably true, but I've got my reasons, and they are purely practical.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  12. #12
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7,451
    Since my wife is the only one that knows I CD, ( other than the ones on here) I guess to my wife I am her hubby, CD and she sometimes refers to me as her friend Jaylyn. This is ok with me as I really could care less if the world knows.

  13. #13
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,265
    I'm the neighborhood tranny they all know except for the new family that bought the house next door.
    The neighbor across the street probably already told them about me but thats fine.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,763
    I'd prefer they know me as "That tall blond lady". Or as "That person who is sometimes a guy and is sometimes a girl". Some of my neighbors know clearly that I am transgender, and accept me completely. They've all had a chance to see me coming or going en-femme, or to notice that as a guy I always have feminine painted nails and pierced ears. Will some call me names and make assumptions? Possibly. Do I care? Not one bit. Anyone who actually talks with me and interacts with me to any extent, in either mode, will quickly learn that I am a decent person and a good neighbor. And if they haven't bothered to interact with me, they they know nothing, and their opinions are baseless.

  15. #15
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5,000
    Only my wife knows. So, no, I don't want to be known as a crossdresser.
    But....
    I went several times to a tg-friendly club. There, I wanted to be seen, or at least didn't mind being seen as a crossdresser, which I obviously was.

  16. #16
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    s.nj near Berlin
    Posts
    3,199
    I've already have a moniker as "the area Transvestite", I have notified those who informed me of my "Title" that crossdresser would be more to my liking but whatever, I am known around town and at a whole slew of establishments that I frequent in both modes. Even the local police force know of me, and as far as I can tell support me in my expression of self, also many of the clerks at town hall know of me and have done business in both modes. So I guess my answer would be YES, I do wear it with a sense of pride, and if that's the only way they know me than at least they know one CDer so I hope I represent well and belay any misconceptions.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    5,988
    Yep I am a crossdresser and it is likely that my neighbors know. Since I am boy/girl, I don't mind if people know. My ex outed me to everyone anyways so woopie be boop its alright.
    Part Time Girl

  18. #18
    Hi, I'm Kate gokatiegirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Freehold, NJ
    Posts
    161
    No I don't want to be known as the cross dresser but do want to be known as transgender even though I'm not 100% full-time. Transgender is a better way of explaining myself and when people do refer to me as a cross dresser I'm happy to correct them. I no longer pretend to be a woman.. I do try to be the best t-girl I can be and I'm real proud of it.
    Kate

  19. #19
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    Posts
    5,589
    Well for me since I don't feel my Crossdressing defines me I really don't think that's how I want to be refered to.
    I'm TG maybe but I'm just me I don't need a label

  20. #20
    Junior Member EffyJaspers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Milwaukee
    Posts
    49
    Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser? Yes, especially if they understand what a CD is, and not skewed perspectives of what they "Know".
    Also are there definitely some you don't ever want to know? In the end no. I'd rather everyone know and so no shocked, "When did this start/happen"? moments happen and it was just a part of me, like a third arm.

    Now coming out to different groups would be different. Family i will/do come out solo for each person. Coworkers I would need to beat in a street fight-boxing match so I earn their respect moreso before I lay what is considered an 'atom bomb personality trait' truth on them. They have agreed to fight to, so I'd rather tell them after a good fight then them somehow learn about it. Plus, beating them in a fight "proves" my masculinity? And I like fighting.

  21. #21
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,270
    Quote Originally Posted by Roberta Lynn View Post
    Unfortunately being know as a crossdresser would over shadow or define anything else they knew about.
    You could be a concert pianist but you would be know as that crossdressing piano player.
    I agree with this. It would become the only thing people think of when they think of you, and even if they don't associate being gay or having a fetish with the CDing, this would over-shadow your other accomplishments.

    It's like telling people you're an alcoholic. Even if you've been in recovery for years and are no longer triggered by other people drinking, they primarily think of you as an alcoholic and they feel awkward if they're out for dinner with you and they want a glass of wine.
    Reine

  22. #22
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cathedral City, CA
    Posts
    4,638
    No, I wouldn't want to be known as the Crossdresser as, technically, that would be inaccurate. When I have outted myself and talked about gender identity, I always say: "Transgender, but not transitioning". There are several reasons why Transgender is a much better fit for me than Crossdresser, but there is no need to go into that here. Unfortunately, I suspect that in the minds of the population at large, there are only 2 terms: Transgender = Transsexual and Crossdresser. However, it is overly simplistic to say that there are Transsexuals and there are Crossdressers without mentioning what is between those extremes.

    DeeAnn

  23. #23
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,270
    DeeAnn, I also think that saying "transgender" to people is better than "crossdresser". People, with their limited knowledge, might associate the term "transgender" with the transsexuals they've been exposed to in the media like Kaytlin Jenner, and so they might have a loose idea it has something to do with gender identity (depending on what they think of Jenner), even if the person in question is not living full time as a woman. But saying "crossdresser" I think would cause most people to associate it with fetish.
    Reine

  24. #24
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,335
    I don't want to be "known" as anything more than the guy I am. Cross dresser is only a small part of that person. Father, husband, good guy, are all part of the equation.

    If others were to become aware that I cross dress, then I prefer the term cross dresser as that describes that part of me perfectly. And while I agree with Reine that the cross dresser term likely has a more negative image than Transgender, I am not transgender. I just cross dress.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 07-15-2016 at 10:54 AM.

  25. #25
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,704
    Thank you everyone.

    It is interesting to read these comments. One thing that I think has been confirmed is that people will think of you as they will. Sure, we can try to influence them by "good" behavior, and "acceptable" presentation, but in the end we are preceived in the light they use to see us.

    So, while not to frighten anyone, remember that once out of the bottle, the genie is hard to put back in. Unless you're Roger Nelson, and you'll figure a way to trick her by the end of the show. BIG CLOUDS OF PINK FOG.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State