Depressed sometimes

[Joyce Swindell]

Hello all
I am now 60 and will soon be 61. I've noticed that I am so much more sensitive these days. I used to rarely ever get out as Joyce. These days I could go out at least once a month and I can wear whatever I want with my wife around no problem. I've noticed that if I don't get out that time once a month I can be an emotional mess any day of the week until I do get out. Often it's depression and I want to quit all the good things I'm doing....job....work...and just want to go home and sleep. Bad news upsets me more than it should and I sometimes cry easily over movies, the news....etc. I do get regular check ups and keep my sugar numbers in check. I do know that sugar diabetes can sometimes cause a roller coaster of emotions if I misbehave....and that didn't used to happen either.....that's a hard one to deal with. I guess getting older presents more challenges and I just felt like whining to someone.

Thanks everyone...... in advance for commiserating with me.

[Dana44]

Joyce, Ah, you only have a few years left to work. I know it can be hard. I am retired and now it is better and can be out when i and my SO goes out. Yes as we get older, we cry a lot more easy and the feminine trait that we have. But try to have positive outlook and it might get a bit better. Depression can really be hard on you and if you have sugar diabetes keep that in check.

[Tracii G]

People get depressed over different things so its not the same for every one.
I'm 63 BTW.
Don't get all freaked out over things you have no control over because there is nothing you personally can do about it.
I used to worry about lots of things but when I learned how to let go and understand there are things I cannot change in the world and just work on the things I can change I have been much better off.
I quit watching TV 6 years ago and started working on my inner self and have freed myself in a lot of ways.
I do think there are people that always complain about being depressed just because it seems like the popular thing to do to garner attention.
Some do suffer and I feel really bad for them but its up to them to fix the problem.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Joyce,

I've never had to deal with depression although I have relatives who have and it's tough even from the outside looking in. It's a good thing your dressing helps and even better that your wife supports you on that.

Wishing you the best,
Elizabeth

[Alexa CD]

(Never mind what I put here, it was pretty depressing really)

[Teresa]

Joyce,
Something happens in our forties and again in our sixties, I just had to get out , now I go out once a month to a social group. It's not enough but so I couldn't bare to miss them now I've managed to finally get out the door.

I guess hitting sixty most of us have done the man thing and now it's time for us and our CDing needs. I don't get depressed although I have known it but in between I shop to think my next outfit out .

[Lana Mae]

Joyce,
I am 65. I have depression at times. Usually over things I have no control over. So since I have no control over them I should not be depressed. What will be will be! I do not know but it is often said to give it to God and he will work it out! Wishing you all the best! Hugs Lana Mae

[CynthiaD]

I'll be 68 in October, and CDing is the only thing that keeps me sane. I've had plenty of things lately that should have put me over the edge, but when I put on a dress, it all goes away, and I feel perfectly happy.

[Julie Gaum]

Was throwing away scraps of paper - notes taken but never acted upon - when I came across the following ancient saying by Lao Tzu:
If you are depressed you are living in the past
If you are anxious you are living in the future
If you are at peace you re living in the present

Julie

[Tina955]

Hi Joyce, I wanted to way in on this, since so many similarities. Same age, will be 61 in September, also ultra sensitive to anything sad. And battling severe depression since my wife of 34 years passed away almost seven years ago. I know that feeling of just wanting to climb in bed and wishing life to go away. Some days, I dont even feel like taking a shower, but I will muster up the strength to do so.
And Julie, I am living in the past, since I can't seem to get over losing my wife with the possibility of many years ahead without her. And yes, also living in the future, as retirement doesn't seem to be attainable at this time. And as far as the present, just basically existing day to day.
Didn't mean to make this about me Joyce, but just want you to realize the magnitude of having a wife to share your life, and she is also supportive. I know, like others have said, only we have the power to pull our selves out of depression, and I hope you have luck than I am having. After being on antidepressants off and on over the years, that never helped, I am convinced I need hrt, but that's a whole other story.
Well in any event, I hope there are brighter days ahead for you Joyce.

Hugs,
Tina

[Ressie]

Losing hope for the future is something that the depressed talk about. We start having mortal fears as we get older. Fear of death, fear of getting sick etc. Negative thinking usually turns into negative imagination and we start imagining the worse. This can be a form of hypnosis - believing something that isn't true.

Do your best at enjoying each day and make some realistic goals for the future. Snap out of it!

[BayBeeBlue]

Hi Joyce.
Hope your feeling a bit better after getting that off your chest.

Up coming Cliché warning .......
* A problem shared is a problem halved.
* There is light at the end of the tunnel.
* 99% of the things we worry about NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPEN.....Not shouting - just emphasising.
* There's always someone worse off than yourself.

Most clichés are true though.
I think everyone experiences depression in some shape or form at any given moment in life....it s how the individual deals with it is the concern.
But recognising it also helps to deal with it better.... Which you have done.
Your still young at 61 & you obviously have a loving and understanding SO....is that not half the battle right there?
I'm 44 BTW...and have suffered from depression on and off for various reasons and have had to try to overcome my demons, sometimes with the help of my wife , sometimes (rarely) professional help and sometimes self medicating (mostly) - probably not recommended but we do what we think is right at the time I suppose.
Look on the bright side Joyce, you have an accepting SO & you'll be retiring soon .... Truly I'm jealous.
I hope I've made some sense....I confuse myself sometimes....lol.
Good luck.

Go néirÃ* an mbothar leat, mo chara.
Google Translate that.

[Georgette_USA]

Tina and Joyce
My life is similar. My partner of 38 years died almost 2 years ago. I don't know about having depression, but I do feel depressed a lot. Made the decision to get back out into the TG/TS world again. This has been educational, but feel isolated from so many. Can't share with others journeys much.

At 65 not sure I will have that intimacy again. Not just sex but just someone to share with. So yes depressed over the past and the future. Just trying to live in the present.

I don't want to go to bed and wish it away, but in morning sometimes just don't want to get up.

[SharonDenise]

I am like Georgette and some others in this forum. My wife of forty years died two years ago. I'm now 70. I came out to my wife while we were dating and she accepted and supported me for all those years. I have joined a bereavement support group and it did help a lot. I have become more open and have joined two crossdresser organizations. I miss my wife but hope to find a companion to share my life with. So far, the women I've shared my crossdressing with have been accepting of my behavior.

[Joyce Swindell]

To Julie....I like it!! I think it is a good analogy. Although in my case it isn't about the past or the future ...it's just about depression for no reason...,.that's what makes it so upsetting when it happens. Still...I really like the words...thank you. I think it has more to do with my sugar than anything and things that happen throughout the day or the day before that seems to send me into that tailspin. Posting has helped me a great deal and the responses reassuring.

In reply to so many others in this thread....thank you all very much too. I am grateful for my wife and all the good things in my life these days. I pray regularly thanking God for all of them.

Thank You all

[sometimes_miss]

It could be just suppressing the desire to crossdress that makes you feel depressed, or maybe something else that's bothering you. Try dressing more, and see if you feel better. Explain to your wife how you feel, and need to try to figure out why you feel that way. If that works, then you'll have to work on whether she's ok with you dressing more often. If not, then there's more introspection necessary to find out the cause of your depression. Whatever it is, you should try to address is, because life is way too short to go through it depressed if you can avoid it.

Don't worry, be happy.

[Alice Torn]

Some depression is caused by long held societal rules, and religious laws that forbid it, and family, and local redneck and highly conservative local culture.