This is so overwhelming.

[Halflifecrysis]

Hello everyone.

First, I want to say how much I have enjoyed some of your stories that you all have shared. I just became a member the other day in hopes of being able to make a few friends and to finally find a common ground.

I am about as new to this...need...as I can be. Everything is new to me. I was reading a section in here called first times or first items purchased and i loved it. Although if i were to mm post here my first times would all be within the last week...and i am totally freaked out. I had to google some of the acronyms just to be able to understand the CD lingo. Like...GG...in my world that has always been Good Game...but that didnt work in the context...after scrolling through about 50 different uses i found that genetic girl seemed to be the winner. Everyone here seems to be so amazing...sharing ideas and experiences. I have been really struggling with myself trying to understand why the hell i feel like I need to do this...and why i love it each step forward i take.

YouTube videos...on makeup...leading me to the makeup isle last night...looking for orange lipstick...foundation and some other compact powder watchchya thingy and just standing there like...are you serious...what the heck is this...and why do they all look likenthe same color, why is this liquid and this powder...and the applicators...my head was spinning. I thought...maybe this is what a woman feels like looking at the plumbing section at home depot. So, a couple walks in and and the husband looked annoyed even having to walk into the isle in the first place. The wife looks at me as i stand there solo juggling a few items in my hands thinking to myself...i should have grabbed a basket. She smiles and looks over the my shoulder grabbing what looked like a surgical tool from the rack. (Eye lash crimper). The husband looked fairly tough...(guys tend to size other guys up)...but i was trying to figure out if he would feel threatoned if I were to ask his wife a quick question. Im a decent looking guy...a bit out of shape these days but i hold my own so i didnt want him to think i was trying to flirt. I mean, where else in the store would you find a better isle to pick up woman, right? So, i ask her..." excuse me miss." The husband immediately glares at me as i completely try to maintain eye contact with her...i know hes looking for me to see his warning stare. "Can you tell me where the foundation is?" She looks at me and smiles. "Ahh, you on a fools errend." Yeah, something like that i think. "She turns and faces the 20 foot long isle and says...your looking at it...all of it is foundation. Are you serious! My heart dropped...i could almost feel the color drain from my face...the husband snickered as she turned back wishing me good luck. I snatched a few vials compacts and whatever else and walked away feeling defeated...but...motivated. i can do this. I grab a basket off the floor and one of the items slipped out and snapped hard on the floor. I just picked it up and put it in the basket wit the others. The woman in line says..."your going to want to get another one of those. Your wife will kill you if you dont." I reached in and pulled it out seeing the mess it made...it looked like the damn thing exploded leaving powder all over the place inside it little not so clear plastic container. I shook it a bit finding it amusing...kinda link an etch a sketch...the lady frowed her brows as i did it...i need to learn makeup edicate apparently.

Finally i am in line...and my phone rings. Its my girlfriend...shes on her way to walmart...PERFECT! Here i am in the slowest line ever...with a basket full of frozen french fries, dishwasher detergent and a bunch of assorted makeups. Hmmmm...ok love, see you soon. (We literally live 5 minutes away.) Do i drop it and run out? Do i start tossing the makeup into the candy bins...maybe with the peanut butter cups...looks like there might be room...i look back...and of course...the couple is behind me from earlier...my heart is pounding...what the hell am i doing. I just shaved my legs last night and I am in line with makeup...my wife is closing in...all eyes are on me...i take a deep breath...ring out...and briskly walk out.

I get in my car carefully removing the makeup from the bag and GENTLY placing them in the glovebox. I take the receipt and literally set it on fire on the ground next to my door. Ok...lets go.

It gets worse...

I pull up...start pulling the makeup out of the glove box...my girl is not here yet...i get everything loaded and turn off the car and look left to open the car door...she is standing there with her arms on her hips waiting.

Did she see me? Omg,...i just climb out. Hey babe i say in my normal calm voice. Im about to puke...she says...what took you so long...i said the cashier was having issues...some new girl i think.

She didnt see ...thank god.

This is my day two...and i could go on about digging through the trash for the makeup i bought using my phone as a flashlight at 12am but this is already long enough.

So i ask...is this normal...did everyone start out in such a scramble...does it get easier? I just want to see how i look...how a feel in the full monte...but im now going to take a xanax because i have to find a wig now...I think I'm going to have a heart attack.