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Thread: friendships with women

  1. #1
    New Member Amelia.cd76's Avatar
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    friendships with women

    So as 1 that doesn't really gel that well with other transgenders, I've been seeking friendships with women.

    I have come out to some I meet would my workplace & even via my femme fb profile, but still wondering how I find other female friends

  2. #2
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    All i can say, is it is not very easy/ Maybe at 12 step groups.. I am not a bar and club person. Maybe you are. Maybe take a class. i have found that GGs around my midwest area, are not looking for CD, but looking for alpha macho males, which i am not.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  3. #3
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Age is one of the things that will determine where you will find them. One thing that I can definitely recommend, is taking a ballroom dancing class at a local night school for adults. The beginners class is usually pretty easy, and the numbers of women always out weigh the numbers of men, so you will be in demand. Don't be surprised if you start making lots of friends there; if you're good, the instructor might ask you to take the more advanced classes, or even volunteer to come back to the next beginner class to help out. Women love dancing, as evidenced by the popularity of the 'Dancing with the stars' TV shows. Beyond that, take a cooking class at the same type of school. If you're into sewing, or just want to learn how to fix your own clothes when they are damaged, there're night school classes for that too. Remember, the class sets up the dynamic of a common goal, or, if the instructor is the mean type, a common 'enemy'. Either way, it makes a man and a woman feel closer to each other, so try to pair up with your target female early on. Small talk, making fun of the political candidates, establishes basic values, you can even sneak in a mention about the bathroom bills to see how she responds to that as a 'test the waters' measure.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  4. #4
    New Member Amelia.cd76's Avatar
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    thanks ladies, there's some good thoughts there.

    what I should of mentioned before is that I'm from New Zealand & night classes are a good idea, but the main thing to deter me from that is lack of transport (since I don't drive)

  5. #5
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    That would mke it harder, not having wheels. Is there a bus system? I suppose personal ads are better than nothing. SM that is good idea, dancing classes. When i lived near Seattle, and Tacoma, actually had dates with over 40 women, before is was back big into CDing. i went to two singles dances. Sadly, they went from around 300 in attendance, slowly shrinking down to about 30 people! I do not know why. Maybe the internet. Single men without a good income, and also crossdressing, do not stand much chance of ever having two way romances, a sad reality. I am 62, and am no longer even looking. I would rather have peace and quiet, with my cats, than constant strife with a roommate guy, or a woman.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  6. #6
    New Member Amelia.cd76's Avatar
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    there is a bus system

    at 39 (though still young enough) I'm not really seeking any type of relationship (though I still get attracted to women) just more a friendship.

    for me having female (supportive) friends as me discussing the softer side of me, things I can't/won't mention around my brothers or for that matter even just my own family.

    end of the day I'm a caring person & in my life friends come second to God (because I do love myself in a good way) & for me personally it's been easier for me to get on with my galfriends than other transgendered ladies

  7. #7
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    Amelia,
    Most would need to be friends with your male side first, I have come out to many but they know me well as a guy, it's then far easier for them to accept you in your femme role because they trusted the guy first. It is much harder to make friends in femme mode, I find it's best not to change too much from your male side, otherwise you may not come over as as open and honest person and possibly even creep them out .

    I chat to GGs as I would in male mode.

  8. #8
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Women like me, and I have lots of female friends, most of them in male mode. But I have three things going for me.

    1. I really like women. This is the most important. I enjoy their company, and love talking with them. It has nothing to do with sexual attraction. I'm genuinely interested in their feelings and in what's going on in their lives, and they appreciate the interest.

    2. I've been married to the same woman for almost 40 years, and I've been scrupulously faithful. Women admire fidelity, even if they play around a bit themselves.

    3. I'm a lot older than most of the women I know, so they see me as "safe." They can be friendly with me without worrying about future consequences.

    If you're looking for romance, #1 will help you. Points #2 and #3, not so much.

  9. #9
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    I'm friends with a lot of women. One of the things I've found/done is help people. I'm the neighbor who people call if they have a problem and want some advice or if I can fix it. I'm out to several women, actually I figure I'm just out. Some guys know also. Been fishing with a couple guys wearing woman's jeans, a top and bra. Anyway I wear women's cloths in male mode. Not dresses or skirts. Women in my age group don't either unless they are going to a special event. I've gone shopping with them, taken them to the doctors, ...

  10. #10
    Member Charlessa's Avatar
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    I no longer have many female friends. at least ones I actually see in person. one thing that does work in my favor is I'm a woodworker and sell to a lot of people. I'm hoping that will eventually lead to some friendships. I guess the only advice I could give others is to be nice, open, and honest

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I used to be a window washer, did dozens of homes. Usually only the wife was home, and i had many conversations with them, and one almost tried to seduce me, but i kept busy working. Some of them became friends, but i was nice when their husbands came home, talked with husbands , and never got close to an adulterous affair. One was a widow near my age, and well off, and i did give her a note saying i would like to be friends, maybe go out, but she was not interested. I was a poor guy, too. I prefer women friends, to men, mostly. But i find, that every attractive, or average looking GG, has many guys after them.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  12. #12
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I'm married to a very supportive wife. She almost encourages me to engage in conversations with women. We believe it helps me with insight into the feminine world. I've never had a problem conversing with women. I make sure things look and sound appropriate. So far, no husbands have shown any envy. A couple years ago, at my college reunion, I met up with a lady I'd dated. She was no longer married. I could tell she wanted to chat about it. I knew her husband...small campus. I avoided any discussion about "why" they separated, but she finally asked me if I'd like to know. I told her, only, if she wanted to....so she did. Her husband was a crossdresser. I kept a low profile. (if she only knew). I told her I didn't know much about crossdressing....Ha ! did my nose grow a little? She told me how she found out...(surprise), resented the secrecy, and just couldn't handle it. I heard later that he finally transitioned and is living on the west coast. I thought, "good for him". Driving home, I told my wife of the conversation. She just smiled. Yes, I changed the minute we got home. Small world, isn't it?

  13. #13
    New Member Amelia.cd76's Avatar
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    thanks ladies

    I've been thinking on the behalf of having women getting to know my make sure first & yes in general that's what I have been doing, but at the same time I have been wondering how that can happen online like for the likes of facebook

    Talking to women no matter where we are on the transgendered women scale can be a benefit to all of us & if they r really supportive & she is dressed in a photo or in person, it's always good to have there input

    I too tend to (when possible) wear as many women cut clothes as a can as a guy & desire more input with that

  14. #14
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    I had a friendship with a trans women, but I never came out her.Wondering now if I missed out on a sister as she no longer speaks to me,but did learn a lot about her transition. Wish you well.
    Last edited by jennifer0918; 08-15-2016 at 02:07 PM.

  15. #15
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    This thread interests me, as I moved to a new state where we don't know anyone. I have since childhood been unwilling and unable to have friendships with other males. One of the reasons I joined the forum was to find some male e-acquaintances who share my interests. I'm just not interested in football and body hair. Ha ha.

    I have had a couple female friends. One I told about my crossdressing, but we didn't see a lot of each other after that--for other reasons. She wasn't fazed by it at all, though, which surprised me very much! I'm sure I'll find another female friend where we live now.

    I am incredibly lucky that my wife is also truly my best friend. Of course she had a thousand doubts and fears about my dressing that have mostly resolved themselves since. Her biggest concern now is that what I wear out doesn't get me beaten, or worse.

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