So recently I've been having a bit of a struggle to dress up. For the last few years since I've been married I've gone through a couple cycles of dressing up. Usually it begins with approaching my wife with my desire to crossdress. From there I usually dress up for a few months, going out, buying makeup, buying outfits, wigs, etc...the whole shebang. Then inevitably my wife goes through a crisis of herself and tells me she can't see me as my male self anymore and that she thinks our marriage is in trouble. So I stop dressing up, I pack away the clothes and she gives away/ throws out other items of my femme self. I focus on being a good husband and letting her needs before my own. And then like some other crossdressers who try and stop the urge to femme up starts to creep back and we begin the whole cycle all over again. This has happened about 3 times now, and I'm at the beginning of a 4th cycle. But this time feels different. I want to dress up very bad, and go out, and wear leggings and heels, but I'm not finding the willpower to do so. I have the clothes out of storage and my wife is willing to go pick out make up with me, but I haven't pulled the trigger so to speak. I don't know why this is different and I can't work up the day to dress. I've pondered a few different reasons why such as: we're currently doing IVF treatments and I don't wanna tuck for fear or ruining any of my swimmers (if you know what I mean); a recent flare up of eczema has kept me cautious of shaving my legs; and lately I've been a little short in the spending fund as my wife is temporarily unemployed.
I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through periods where they want to dress up, and can dress up, but don't for one reason or another. And if so, what did you do about it. Also any suggestions to break my self out of this funk.