I think you make a very good point here, especially about the suspected "affair". We all have our individual circumstances but in my case, I think my wife would wonder if I told her I was going somewhere to meet someone I met on a crossdressing forum.Originally Posted by ClosetED
I don't get it. Why is it the first conclusion to be drawn when meeting someone from a site such as this somehow all about "an affair"???
I'm guessing it has to do with whether or not one has an ability to separate out any sexual aspect of their feminine presentation and how this is conveyed to your SO. Trust is also a factor.
It's like, "hey honey, I'm meeting up with the guys from the deerhunters.com message board site". She ain't gonna be thinking hook-up on that one. Why does it have to be so different here???
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Let's not forget that we're straight! Hooking up is just an impossibility. It's all about trust and how open your communication actually is.
Sara,
Because, right or wrong, for most of the population, there is an association between crossdressing and sex. Even for the enlightened. Even for many of us. Plus, even though you may not have this association, your spouse doesn't know this person, and could have the worry that they might just seduce you!
I am not saying it is rational, just that it certainly can exist. Ideally jealousy shouldn't exist, but it does.
Last edited by Meghan4now; 07-29-2016 at 09:14 AM.
Because many people think crossdressers are gay. Didn't your wife ask you if you were gay when she found out about your crossdressing? Did she believe you 100% or could there still be some doubt?
Crossdressing and deer hunting are very different hobbies.
The various forums are great and an awesome way to communicate with people all over the world. I recently attend a large TG/CD event and met many new girls. People I just met for the first time seemed like my best friends after a couple of hours. We bonded over having the same concerns and happy moments.
Mea culpa for somehow implying "hobby". That may be an accurate description for some. For others, not so much.
But regardless, it might be that a common element for those who have a difficult time getting by a spousal blockade to go out and spend time with friends is defining this (activity/hobby/state of being) from a sexual point of view.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I actually wish I could do more of this. It would be a great way to talk to somene who actually knows more or less exactly how you feel. That solidarity would take so much edge off. There's probably nobody in my life that I could admit this to, and still go out and have a good time with them. I think they would just feel too weird about it. Hope you two have a blast!
What is TCNE and DADT? Acronyms can be so frustrating for us "sometimers" lol. I don't want to seem stupid but...I'm guessing it's a CD function somewhere???
DADT, Don't Ask/Don't Tell. This is a term which arose out of the old US military policy when dealing with members who were gay. It happens to fit many situations here where our SO's know but prefer not to actively discuss.
As for TCNE, put it into context. It sounds like a support group of some sort.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Well, while the airplane gods seemed to be against me this morning, Sara and I met without a hitch. Our pleasant time together over dinner was spent like most humans, talking, eating, drinking. Finding common ground. We were treated with respect and addressed appropriately all night. My real take away is that people astound me with the aplomb with which they interact with a dude, literally, in a dress.
Nice meeting you Sara and thanks for the Squeeze rarities!
Great to meet you too Jennifer.
The venue was P.F. Chang's, the location where I have converged repeatedly over the years with friends old & new. We were treated with absolute class and I detected zero reaction from the Muggles.
And let the record reflect that Jennifer is overly critical of herself from the "dude in a dress" angle. She is stunning and while talking to her over the course of a 2-3 hour dinner, I found that I had to remind myself on a couple occasions that I was not sitting across from a beautiful woman. Not that I had an inherent need for that reminder, it was just that she is so effortless and natural that it is easy to forget.
Me on the other hand, my self-confidence is not at the highest point in that I have shortened my natural hair even more. It wasn't such an issue when I did this two months ago but my regular stylist was on vacation when I went for a badly needed cut on Friday and the replacement pretty much did a butcher job. It was what we call a bad hair day. Couple that with my dress choice. It was an amazing dress and I owned it but the style (sleeveless) and length (rather short) made me feel precarious in the real world. Yet this wasn't from a TG standpoint. Instead, it was from a woman point of view. Women have hair issues all the time. Women choose outfits that may not be their best option in hindsight. It is what it is.
Fortunately, those feelings were fleeting, few & far between given the wonderful company I had. We were just too Cool for Cats!!!
ps to Jennifer, it is in fact pronounced AR-GEE-BAR-GEE, Jools told me himself this morning!!!
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 08-02-2016 at 09:57 AM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
As long as you weren't tempted by the fruit of another!
(Hey, it's just a song reference, get your mind out of the gutter! Geez!)
Last edited by Meghan4now; 08-02-2016 at 01:00 PM.
Well played Meghan!!!
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
