Well, I got a chance to go to the Madison Wis VA hospital for an appointment. After , i decided to drive to my favorite lake, in drab, but panties on under my trunks. It was packed with mom's and their kids. I was the only old loner guy there, so stayed away from the beach for a few hours. Finally went swimming, then, went to a store, came back in the evening, to fish a little. As i waded outside of the swimming area, and out to hip deep water, to fish, I noticed a beautiful young lady, in a long turquoise sun dress, with some other ladies in pants and tops, with cameras. She was modeling on the beach, having photos taken of her, in many poses. I was watching it all, while fishing. I caught a nice 14 inch largemouth, but released it. My heaart was almost breaking, seeing such beauty. The young model waded into the lake, and pulled her dress up a little above the knees. About 20 minutes. I was privileged to see such a girl in such a beautiful dress! Well today, at a small town gas station convenience store, I notice another pretty lady in another dress, walking in ahead of me. Then, she was in line just ahead of me, and i notice her painted toenails, and heeled sandals. She did not look happy, though. I said hello, and she turned and left. I said to the cashier guy, nice to see a dress! Tonight, i went in drab, in the hot humid weather to a small town band concert in the park, and found a seat near the front. Great view of the band. I notice a stunning young lady, on the right side, right in front of us all playing a French horn, in a tight black pencil skirt, tight short sleeved white blouse, hosed legs, and at least five inch black high heels! It was a real legs show! Not in a lustful way, but certainly in a WOW! way. And after the concert, I saw her hand in hand with her man. It hurt. When i see such beauty, sometimes, i feel sad, a little envious Sad, that I am a lonely man. Sad, that I will never be that real, in my dressing. A bit of envy, as they do not even have to try hard, as i do, and being a low income, aging bachelor means i will never have a lovely woman, and i realize looks are not everything at all. Inner beauty may be the most important beauty, as they will all age, and lose their looks eventually. I feel sad, pain sometimes, when i see they are showered with love and attention, that old bachelors will never have, and even if i do get attention when i am dolled up, some of it will be negative attention, OMG, finger pointing, judged a deviant, etc. There was a song sometime in 1981, that mentioned, "that old familiar pain." I am glad i can ride a bicycle, drive, have cats, internet, some food, water, still have an apartment. But to have someome to love,romantically, ai have not know for 29 years, and i am still a virgin.