Do we sometimes forget how far we have come?

[rachelatshop]

The one thing we all at some time had or have in common is that we are or were cross dressers; before we figured out that we are trans fluid; before we figured out that we are trans gender; or before we figured out that we are trans anything, we were cross dressers, and for some of us, we have figured out that we are just cross dressers.

Many of the members of this community have moved far beyond the days of just coming out of the closet and being afraid that someone was going to discover us, or just being scared to death to even consider that there might be a girl, in some capacity lurking inside each of us. Each of us has made his own journey, and remembers how hard it was to accept that those feelings were real, were not going away, and were part of who we are. Then the hard part was to convince ourselves that we were still a good person and it was ok to be who we are, and if that were not enough, we had to become comfortable being who we are. This quest can be a long and hard one; where some of us face loved ones that don’t understand or support us; where we daily question if we have made the right decisions; where for some of us it is giving up everything we have known for a life time and starting all over; and for some of us the fear of the unknown can leave us so depressed that it is hard to go on.

A short time ago I almost lost a friend to the fear of the unknown. EACH TIME WE POST A REPLY TO A THREAD WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT OUR COMMUNITY IS MADE UP OF LOTS OF MEMBERS; SOME JUST STARTING THE JOURNEY; SOME MEMBERS WHO HAVE COME A LONG WAY, AND SOME OLD TIME LADIES THAT HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. TELL THE TRUTH BUT TRY TO BE GENTLE IN THE TELLING

[Alice Torn]

Well said, Rachel. And some of us have had religious teachings that make it tough, as well as plain old societal tabboos, which shame men from being anything but rough and macho.

[Jaylyn]

Very well stated Rachel. I was reading your post and realized I really can't determine where I'm at but can so relate to many of the things you said. Maybe the part that we have made our own journeys. I know I have found what works for me and I would bet others would say the same. I don't think we'll ever all be at the same place in our journey at the same time.

[iGenny]

Nice, gentle reminder to us all, Rach.

[Rachael Leigh]

Very well said Rachael I do agree and still in many ways one of the new ones here I tend to be a bit pushy myself and even if I'm still learning and understanding more about me.
I realize there are many here in very different places and circumstances and we all must respect that for sure.
Thanks for your words
Leigh

[tgirlamc]

Bravo Rachel!!!... Well said... Be gentle with others and be gentle with ourselves as well...

Take Care,

Ashley

[Dana44]

Rachel, very well said, we have come a long way and some of us are trail blazers. It is good to be what we are. It has been a long haul and and we learned that we are not alone.

[jeanieinabottle]

Outstanding Rachel. It took me 55 years to get to where I am now, away from that prior person of self hatred, shame and disgust to one who finally understands myself (as best as I can), accepts myself and loves myself. But this also reminds me of something else. That if it took me 55 years to get to this point, how could I expect those that I love to instantly understand and accept me as I am? I am fortunate that today I have a wife wno understands, accepts and loves me for who and what I am. When I first tried to say something to her 20 years ago, that wasn't the case and hence back into my lamp for another 20 years. So as each of us make our individual journey and think about where we came from and how we got here, we also need to remember that those we love are also on a journey and they may not always be on the same road by our side thru it all. But hopefully you get to the same destination with those you love, just not always at the same time.
Love never fails, but its not always on the same page at the same time.
Thanks.
Peace.
Dr. J

[Lana Mae]

Bravo! Bravo! Rachel You summed it up very well!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tina_gm]

I agree 100%. And further, what works for most won't work for all. Sometimes we can have unique circumstances within our already somewhat unique situation in life.

[Samantha_Smile]

Mind

Blown!

Great post.
Great observations.

[rachelatshop]

Hi everyone and thank you for your wonderful and thoughtful replies. I just want everyone to know that this post is the result of a real life event, so thank you all and I wish everyone had read this thread.

[docrobbysherry]

I think Caitlyn and the LGBT rites issues have brought us out of the shadows. However, most folks in the USA r still freaked or entertained by dressers seen in person out in vanilla venues.

Most of the change I've seen is in how much more gutsy dressers r now than when I came out online 8 years ago. Even timid, cowardly me!

[josrphine]

Hi Rachel, There is a old saying " With age comes wisdom " an for us that are older myself 75. My many years I have seen most all of it. My problem now an most of you young one won't beleive it is my wife gets up set when I don't dress. .. Jo

[Kate Simmons]

While being okay with and accepting myself, I've learned over the years not to have any expectations of others, otherwise I may wind up being disappointed. Which is one reason why my one rule for friendship is just always be yourself.