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Thread: Was that guy hitting on me? Can't be

  1. #26
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    He sounds like a real puzzle. The touching of the arm, the eye contact when you say he was aware of your gender immediately are unusual. It takes all sorts in life, says I with a clear sense of irony.

    He wasn't put off though, on several occasions too, so a nice experience with a person unknown.

    I had a guy ask me my name in a pub. Once he heard my voice, he did an immediate about turn. So you beat me hands down and with repeat visits.

    Becky - Rejected
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    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  2. #27
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    Becky, that was what happened the first time a guy approached me (two guys, actually approaching me and my wife). After I said no thanks to a drink, they couldn't get far enough away, fast enough!

  3. #28
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    Now I know you're a girl. No dude passes up a free drink!

  4. #29
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Reason # too many to count why its probably a good thing I do not go out.... I would have way too much fun with a clown like this. I would, in a very thick russian accent introduce myself as Natasha, and go on to say how I was banned from the olympics due to steroids... American man, you like this arms??? ya?? this arms squish you like bug.
    Last edited by Tina_gm; 08-03-2016 at 04:05 PM.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  5. #30
    Senior Member JaytoJillian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tifftg View Post
    Any chance he was a sister? I know in my early years, ok decades ago, I would have wanted to share but couldn't say, I am in the closet and wish I could be like you-open and lovely.
    Bingo! My thoughts exactly. The exchange--as described--did not seem as if it was flirty. My take is that the young guy felt a connection and identified with you.

    Cheers,

    Jill
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  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    ...I know you've been out there so many times and may have understood it but I'm not sure I can say I would be comfortable with the situation.
    Teresa, I missed this comment somehow, earlier. First, I don't really go out that much, maybe a few times a month but I keep to places where I'm unlikely to have trouble. I think it's different for me in responding as opposed to a women in that in my head, I'm a dude. I'm not thinking, "Do I flirt with this guy?" I would have responded the same way in guy mode. I SERIOUSLY doubt he was looking for a pickup with me but I'm not offended either way. It's his wasted time and he wasn't belligerent. He was kind of like the happy drunk you sometimes see in a bar that strikes up conversations out of the blue. If he was really bothersome I'd have told him to take a hike. Socializing isnt always on your own terms. Your just make the most of it.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 08-03-2016 at 05:37 PM.

  7. #32
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Various members here have had femme profiles on dating sites. They say there is no lack of men out there who want to have sex with CDers or pre-op TSs. My guess is this guy was a trans-admirer.

    Have you ever heard of Richard Novic, a.k.a. Alice Novic, L.A. psychologist and author of Alice in Genderland? He believes that trans-admirers are "birds that cannot fly" so your friend could well be someone who has a secret desire to crossdress. More details here:

    http://aliceingenderland.com/menwhom...nterested.html
    Reine

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member WandaRae2009's Avatar
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    maybe he was one of us. Just chatting you up because you had something in common.

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    .... My guess is this guy was a trans-admirer....
    Reine, while possible, he was with a group of friends. Seems like a bold thing to show those cards to his friends. I really wish I had asked,"You know I'm a dude, right?"

  10. #35
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Good point. Did his friends notice he put a hand on your shoulder?
    Reine

  11. #36
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    No. He was there before they got in

  12. #37
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Then maybe he was a trans-admirer who was able to show interest before his friends got there? Or maybe they were all very liberal dudes who have many queer friends? This is becoming increasingly common in the younger generation. The NYT weekend magazine had a good article on this, July 17.
    Reine

  13. #38
    I've made it and love it Jennifer-GWN's Avatar
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    Jennifer... You're a tease😜😋 hahaha.
    I am who I am... I'm happy...I mean truly to the bone happy...and at peace with myself for the first time ever. I'm confident and content as the woman I am.

  14. #39
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I hate to say this, Jenn. Because I really don't know for sure. Judging by your avatar and posts, some folks may just find u approachable. My guess is he wasn't hitting on u.

    In my experience, it's not uncommon for me to be approached by curious women when I'm out dressed. (Almost no one starts conversations with Sherry!) But, men never start a conversations with me unless they r interested in more than just talk.

    And, doesn't take long for them to get to the point!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #40
    Member Shayna's Avatar
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    If he was with friends, it could have been a dare, and he stuck around when he saw you were willing to engage him in conversation.

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer-GWN View Post
    Jennifer... You're a tease hahaha.
    and what a comedy THAT would be.

  17. #42
    Aspiring Member irene9999's Avatar
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    Like others said, it was likely a "sister" or a guy who finds crossdressers or trans girls attractive. That said, if there was touching involved he probably liked what he saw

  18. #43
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    Shoot Jennifer, you know that half of us here would hit on you if we could, Right?! (teasing, of course!)

  19. #44
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Men will use a lot of cues to check a woman out. Ask the time, offer to buy a drink, others to listen to you, to see if they want to proceed, I guess he used the rubbing to see if you are soft or hard muscle. There are plenty of younger men who like an older woman. I get men some 20 years younger hit on me.

    Never had any use body touching without some idea that you would be responsive. He may have been trying to check you out, as he may not have had any experience with a Trans Woman before. Not sure if his thoughts were either CD or TG/TS.

    In a non-LGBT place I would never touch another woman unless there were some clues back to me. In LGBT places I will talk/chat with women, and may include touching hands, or ask them to dance. Not all women in LGBT places are Lesbian, so do have to be careful.

    I get a lot of men in LGBT places that get bold. I usually tell them that I don't have what they may want, or that I am mainly interested in women.

    If you were in a LGBT place, I would try to get to know you better, as you seem to be very attractive. In a non-LGBT place I would not bother you unless you wanted some exchange.

    Those are reasons why any woman has to be careful in public places. Men can be very forward at times.

  20. #45
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    After talking to my wife and using more words than in a post, she offered up this possibility: he was just trying to make me feel good. He saw a person sitting alone, turns out to be a cross dresser and he was just trying to make that person feel like they belong.

    Could be. Makes as much sense as anything else, and if you apply Reine's comment, "...Or maybe they were all very liberal dudes who have many queer friends? This is becoming increasingly common in the younger generation..." This could make sense. My wife even said the same.

    For sure, if there is a next time, I will ask!

  21. #46
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    Jennifer, this is an after the fact thought but since neither of you knew what was going on in the other one's head would you have wished you had offered him a seat and quite frankly said to him, I am a male that crossdresses, I enjoy it; what do you think of me, have you ever thought you would like to dress as a girl? This could have drawn him out, if he said yes he could have learned from you and you figured him out.

    If the twenty something age group is accepting as said here perhaps they are smarter than the older's who haven't changed with the times. Jennifer as you are dressed and conducted yourself with decency toward others why should anybody say anything bad about you or your clothes? All of society should see it as being no different than seeing someone wearing blue contacts over brown eyes. Only insecure negative minded people would find fault.

    While on the subject of acceptance just thought I would throw this in; I was in Penney's yesterday looking at women's shoes dressed in tight girl jeans, panties and hose and the SA walked over and started a nice conversation and suggested I look at several different brands of women's shoes. As we continued to talk I asked her if she remembered me, she said oh yes, you wear a size 11 and purchase some black boots, she also said her inventory was low but 11's would be in shortly for fall. We both started looking for 11's for me in the reduce rack. I found four pair, tried them on showing I had hose on and walked around the store in them. Then went to PayLess and had the same friendly experience. A few months earlier I was in Penney's and received a compliment from another SA that said my boots and boot cut jeans looked very nice, she saw absolutely nothing wrong with a man wearing women's boots, I mean they are just leather and zippers and your choice of foot wear.

  22. #47
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    It happened in a bar. Alcohol can make people do strange things. It's an interesting story and it's good that you handled it well.

  23. #48
    Member Carmen's Avatar
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    Jennifer I had a similar experience. I was at a small friendly bar sipping on a drink and watching whatever was on the screens.
    There was a group of 3-4 in a booth across the room, a family. The 20-something son came over and asked to sit down, I agreed. We chatted for a while. He made no references to my gender or asked me any personal questions.
    He had to leave when we saw his family get up to go. He explained that his mom was flying in and they had to go to the airport to pick her up.

    I was wearing a white sleeveless tight fitting tank dress and 3 inch heels...basically I was dressed for clubbing. He gently touched my arm before he walked away. His family did not appear to notice anything.
    It was a pleasant time, I felt he just wanted someone outside of his family to talk to.
    Last edited by Carmen; 08-04-2016 at 03:45 PM. Reason: typo fixes
    "Missed it by that much!"

  24. #49
    50's Housewife Wannabe Madilyn A.'s Avatar
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    Jennifer, My guess is he was more than curious, he was hitting on you for sure. Had you seemed a bit interested I believe he would have escalated his advances. I have seen numerous photos of yours, you always look amazing and very passable. So the question is, why are you not hit on more often, even though you send off signals to the contrary. You handled it wonderfully and have gained confidence and some experience for the next time it happens. Enjoy !
    Believe in the impossible dream, dreams do come true !!!

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    Madilyn

  25. #50
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    Madilyn, I think pictures are deceiving. Great distances and darkness would be required to pass for me but that's ok and it answers your question: "the question is, why are you not hit on more often,"..

    A middle aged dude, dressed as woman, is probably pretty close to last on the "get hit on" list

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