Karma in small doses.

[Samantha_Smile]

I sat down Friday afternoon after a few intoxicants with the wife. (Days off work together )
(I was FULLY dressed - that is to say, I was wearing a full face of makeup and wig and all the norm undies and forms,
but I was only wearing some skinny jeans and a girls t-shirt.
Either way - I could not have looked like my male self.)
There was a missed call on my phone from my mum that I sadly ignored and we settled into some South Park.
(I know, I know, the shame of not calling my mum back - but as you're about to learn - Karma's a B***h!).
We were switching through random episodes when the wife turns to the window, "S***!" she half-yelled,
"Your Mum and Dad are here!"

Immediate palpitations.
I get up and immediately head for the stairs taking only my phone and ecig.
How could I be so dumb - I was fully dressed and I didn't return a call from someone
who has got history of turning up even when unable to call ahead to check it's okay.
20 years a CD, 6 years of taking some pride in it, and learning to embrace my feminine side,
Today of all days, I forget the basics of keeping secrets - COVER YO BUTT!

So anyway, I head up to the bedroom, the wife shouts up to me
"Babe, don't make any noise, I'll say you're ill or something", great, another lie!
I whisper-shout "OKAY" back at her.
"They've brought [neice] (todler) over" as my mum put it "to say hello after they had been to town".
I climbed on the bed and kept still.

The front door opened, I heard their voices as clear as a bell.
Was so un-nerving that 'unknowers' else were in my house when I was dressed.
"[myname] isn't well, he's gone back to bed. Im just heading into the conservatory"
(furthest point in the house from our room - it was a lovely day too) my wife tells my parents
I breathe a little easier took a drag on my vape and calmed down a bit.

I immediately look at my phone, just as a txt from the wife appears.
"They're only staying 30 minutes, I've told them you've got gut rot", (UK slang, not hard to work out).
I replied "Im sorry. I hate that you're lying for me".
And I did. It's one thing for me to be keeping my secret, but for her to directly lie to save my ass
made me feel so guilty and yet so loved. It's weird combo of emotions, let me assure you.

"It's Fine :P" - I bloody love my wife.

"You sure?" - Seemed like the best way to go here.
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they know I'm drunk at 2 in the afternoon"

They all played with my neice in the garden while I watched youtube makeup videos on my phone and vaped like a chimney.
I even found time to snap some quick selfies, after the makeup videos gave me ideas (see below)
Then paranoia speaks up "What if your mum comes in doing the concerned mother bit", "What if your DAD came up to check on you".
Well what do you do in that situation?
After a while of calm thinking, I eventually came to the conclusion that all I could do, would be to make a light hearted remark akin to.
"So erm, I've been meaning to tell to both, I'm kinda, sorta half girl". OMG - I would have died!

After a little while, like 45 mins. My tank was running empty on my cig (somewhat nervous), and I'd had my daily dose of makeup lessons.
I finally hear "Thank's for having us over, luv. Give [myname] our love... etc etc see ya soon."

Their car doors clunked and the engine started, the sounds behind the bedroom blind signaled freedom.
I went down stairs, laughed with the wife over the close call and had a cigarette out in our garden in the sunshine.
Felt good. It was like riding a mini coming out journey in one hour. From bedroom hiding, to outside enjoying LOL

Really, really tense afternoon.