Is the younger generation more apt to be accepting?

[Jenniferathome]

There are numerous posts here every week about acceptance of cross dressing and one's home turf. I have been doing a little experimenting here in beautiful Boise, Idaho and I am willing to bet that it's the same everywhere. "Acceptance" by strangers is inversely proportional to age. And "acceptance" might be the wrong word. It's more like "water off a ducks back."

Even today, I was dressed and dropped off some suits to the Idaho Youth Ranch (like a Goodwill). I entered the donations bay in back and two teenagers where working there (boy and a girl). Certainly neither was older than 18 and more likely 16 ish. The young man looks up as I enter and INSTANT recognition that I was a dude hit him. What did he do after that? He maintained eye contact and smiled at me. I said I have some suits to donate and the young lady comes over and takes may bag with a smile and asks if I want a receipt. I say no thanks and both thanked me for the donation. Business as usual.

Did I mention I live in BOISE? Over the last few weeks it's been the same everywhere. Younger folks take it in stride, it's just a thing. I haven't run across a gang of mall rats yet but that's for another day. I have had great experiences with older folks too but it's less universal than with the younger crowd.

Is your experience any different?

[sarahjan]

I think that young people are being exposed to far more gender issues certainly than when I grew up. Someone cross-dressed they were a pervert and being transgender would get you in the papers and nearly all in adults. Now on things like Reddit you have people coming out almost daily saying that they has started to transition whilst still at school and with the exception of the normal jerks most people they know are supporting them.

[Marissa V]

For my kids it never was a problem, they went along for the journey wich in turn made them understand the entire process better. And yes, these days on social media even mainstream media here..."we are legion". But there still is a lot of misunderstanding, wich is ok i guess as long as you have respect for the person. Me personally, i never really went for acceptance from people, i went for respect from people, nobody said we had to agree on the subject. And respect is something you have a hand in yourself, in the way you bring it into the open. It worked for the friends of my kids (2 daughers) and their parents. And someone once told me...everyone has an opinion about it until they're confronted with it themselves...never had better advice if it comes to dealing with people no matter their age.

[Amy Fakley]

It really is different for the kids these days.

They have never once in their lives suffered for a lack of access to information. And not just the big stuff like having to look up "transexual" in the card catalog at the public library, like most of us oldsters had to.

Literally for every trivial thing they have ever wondered about, from the distance from here to the moon, to the names of the actors who played the power rangers, they have had a magic box in their pocket that imediately gives them real answers, not just the opinions of their elders. We are witnessing the coming of age of the first generations to grow up never lacking answers if they are known to humanity.

This is a genuine and massive change of perspective, and we are only beginning to see how it will change the world. There are good and bad aspects of it no doubt, but I'm actually excited to see what these kids will bring to the world.

[GBJoker]

I've noticed the (sort of) opposite. People around 40-50 years old today are the most accepting group. People my age and younger are surprisingly the least accepting group. All those under 30 who've found out about me, one way or another, have completely rejected me.

[NancySue]

My experience have not been different. and you won your bet. Your response at the YR didn't surprise me. I totally agree with you. My take is the younger people have had to think about previously "taboo" subjects in many areas. The transgender bathroom issue is a good example. This has brought a previous DADT subject to the surface and awareness of younger people. I sense the younger people are much more accepting and tolerant of the transgender and other issues than the older people. That's certainly true in our community. I'm not too sure about local older folks. I had a similar experience. I craved a cheeseburger and went through the drive lane. I did my best to disguise my voice over the speaker. When I arrived at the window, a teenage girl looked at me, smiled, took my money, handed me the food and told me she loved the color of my nail polish. Yes, the burger tasted extra good.

[Jessica May]

Id say I have to agree. I think for the most part the younger generations are more tolerant to things considered out of the norm. Although it has a very heavy bearing on how they were brought up too. Intolerance begets more intolerance. I think as time goes on the "Norm" will change even more.

[Dree Yer Ane Weird]

In Scotland I've found society as a whole is more accepting of pretty much everything. Its certain members of the older generation that have issues. I'm 54 so we are talking folk in their middle 60's upwards, so its the same folk who gave me shit when i was a punk, all "growed" up.

[Rachael Leigh]

I agree Jennifer from my experiences in this large metro area, the thing I've noticed is those who are younger are more apt to use the proper pronouns when they address you where as older folks try just not to use any but most of all age groups are usually very kind and friendly

[Stephanie47]

I think you encounter does not reflect anything but the interaction you had with two kids. Nothing more, nothing less. First, even at a charitable donation station the kids are under the rules of their employer or overseers. Can you really gauge if an individual is "accepting" of African-Americans or Latinos if the only place there is interaction is on the job?

I've found every age group's majority opinion is let the person do whatever they want as long as it does not hurt anyone. I hang out every week with a group of sixty plus men. One of the members has a grandson who is transgender. None of the men understand why the grandson is transgender, but, all feel let the kid sort it out and leave him alone. Will the married male gay couple be invited for a large dinner party?

The true test of acceptance is whether or not someone is going to invite a "guy in a dress" over for dinner. That is a more intimate situation than a meaningless encounter. At best you can argue there is more "live and let live" attitude.

How about you stand on main street in Idaho and ask the young women whether they would marry a cross dressing man who wanted to go around town dressed to the nines with makeup and wig?

[Jenniferathome]

... And "acceptance" might be the wrong word. It's more like "water off a ducks back."...

Isn't this about the same as "live and let live"?

and it is not just two kids. It has been this way 100% of the time I am out. But without question, these two represent their age group. They are teens working at (maybe volunteering) a charity shop. They are not in a legal or medical office. No, the rules in this place are loosey-goosey for sure.

[Dana44]

I agree that the young are more understanding and use the correct pronouns right. When we were at several restaurants over the last year. the waiters and the waitresses both treated us well and sometimes sat down to talk to us as we seemed to be a happy couple. And they never mentioned anything about my dressing except to say I looked nice.

[Lauri K]

I would say the younger generation definitely more accepting "in general" however alternatively I find most my age are accepting as well.

Although I have ran into a few that will blatantly mis-gender you in heartbeat and think nothing of it, and of course I am always happy to tell them loudly "tip is going down" if it is restaurant or bar server.

The crazy part is that there is not a normal balance currently in society towards us, so you find a mixed bag of acceptance or rejection.

I think we are on the right road, but the southeastern part of the US has a lot of catching up to make it into the 21st century in my lifetime.

FWIW I have had very few bad experiences aside from the occasional mis-gendering. Maybe they know I carry a signature series IV edition cinder block in my purse.

[Laurana]

I know my daughter and her crew are totally accepting of all people no matter their race/gender etc.

[Heidi Stevens]

There are some of us of " a certain age" that were around, if not involved, in the U.S. civil rights movement of the 50's, 60's and early 70's. Where I grew up in Omaha, desegregation was already in action by the time I made it to school. We all had learned that it didn't matter where you came from, your ethnic background or your race. We were kids and just did things kids did together.
Fast forward to 1971. We have moved to Louisville, Ky. I was a sophomore attending the 2nd biggest high school in the state. One that had just been integrated. The first thing that happened was various folks asking me if I was scared going to schools with blacks? I always would say "scared of what?" "I have been going to school with blacks for the past 8 years, along with American Indians, Mexicans, Jews, Poles, Germans, Italians and several other ethnic groups. What am I supposed to be scared of?" I've always carried this attitude when confronted with any group, especially one I didn't know about. I think back to that time to tell others that you could accept and respect others because I had lived it and you could do it too.
That said, I think the introduction of other minority groups to society as a whole since then has led to today's youth being accepting to any group that presents itself as a civilized group. The result is a good portion of population is open and accepting, especially the younger people. But there is also a large number who remain at odds with others not like them. Most are in areas where diversity is not common. The local environment lends itself to keep the locals from learning there is no harm to a live and let live attitude. But the seed of being accepting was planted years ago and as time goes on we will see more and more acceptance of all groups that just want respect and be left to live a peaceful, happy life.

[docrobbysherry]

I haven't a clue. But, I hope so, Jenn. Because they r our future.

[CarlaWestin]

In my case I would say yes. A while ago my Daughter's friends asked her who the sexy woman in the pictures on her computer were. When she said it was her Dad, they all thought it was way cool.

[ReineD]

I've noticed the same thing. Young people tend to be a lot more accepting of differences or queerness. AND it goes both ways ... people in general tend to accept unusual dressing among the young. We had a young man in our neck of the woods a few years ago who dressed like a feminine male - long black & purple hair, long black nails, scarves & jewelry, makeup, form fitting jeans and feminine tops. We live in a small town in the midwest and it seemed as if no one batted an eye. My SO asked me if I had opinions about the seeming overall acceptance of this young person and I told him I thought it was because the middle-aged generation is accustomed to seeing the younger folks push the boundaries, but I didn't think this young person would have been able to get away with it if he had been middle-aged.

For some reason, rules change as we age (all sorts of rules) and I don't know why this is. Maybe all the young accepting people today will become more guarded as they age and take on mortgages, raise kids, etc, too. Maybe they will also adopt a greater desire to conform the more they acquire things they do not want to lose. Certainly, the wonderfully free and accepting hippie generation ended up becoming conformists as they aged for the most part. They ended up cutting their hair and eventually wearing office clothes.

[Pat]

When my kids were in high school I noticed they and their peers were very accepting of a number of things (and also that their humor was gentler than my generation's was at that period.) I'm happy to note that they're in their late 20's now and as far as I can tell they're still much more accepting as a rule. I'm hoping it keeps going.

That said, it's interesting to note there's a lot of hidden acceptance in us older folk. People don't necessarily leap out to embrace gender variant folk, but they have great passive acceptance and tend to be very transactional (i.e. "no skin off my nose") when confronted by folks who are unusual. I ike to believe the vast majority of people fall into either the "actively accepting" bucket or the "passively accepting" bucket and very few fall into active rejection. But I could just be being an optimist.

Re aging hippies: Our biggest social issues were racial segregation, Viet Nam and drug culture. Viet Nam played out and has arguably left the culture with a stronger distrust of authority than it had before. Drugs turned out to not be a wise choice to rally around. But I don't think there has been any generational backsliding on racial tolerance. I think we stayed true to that one and demonstrably made things better (even though you can still find problems.) I'm hoping the new generation will take their improved acceptance of other people's lifestyle forward with them.

[arbon]

From what I see yes, they are.

I see it a lot with my daughter and her troop, all lesbians, gays, queer, trans - very out and open kids. and their peers by and large accept them.

[ReineD]

Re aging hippies: Our biggest social issues were racial segregation, Viet Nam and drug culture.

This is true, but we also relaxed the rules about what men and women should look like. Men had long hair and wore colorful clothes with embellishments. This all but disappeared as we aged.

My sons are all more accepting of gender and sexual variance than men in my generation and they have friends who are gay. Yet, I notice that as my oldest son ages (he is in his 30s) he becomes a bit more of a conformist. By this I mean that I don't think he will ever condemn gender and sexual variance like the religious right, but he increasingly chooses to hang out with people who share his lifestyle now, and these are hetero couples who are beginning to have kids.

I also think that where we all live has an impact, specifically urban vs rural.

[Pat]

This is true, but we also relaxed the rules about what men and women should look like. Men had long hair and wore colorful clothes with embellishments. This all but disappeared as we aged.

Very true. I blame polyester. Everything was going along fine until that happened. I recall taking advantage of long hair being tolerated (-ish. I was in parochial school at the time and we still had strong pressure to conform to a more WWII male aesthetic) loose, colorful clothing and "hippie beads." By the rules I was taught any jewelry of any kind was unmanly so those years I was constantly wearing beads and bracelets were very dear to me. That stopped abruptly with a stint in the Army. After I got out I have to admit I was conditioned to be conformist. It didn't stick.

Perhaps my generation's experience brought about the tolerance of our children's generation? I'd like to think so.

[Teresa]

Jenn,
As far as dealing with SAs is concerned I would say older ones take it in their stride and younger ones tend to react more verbally possibly because they have never encountered a CDer before .

As an example I was trying on some heals in Next and three young SAs finally lined up to pass comment, one was about to rush off for her smart phone to take some pictures, a more mature SA might compliment you on the shoes or clothes but not usually take pictures .

Charity shops are an interesting situation because they are manned by volunteers, ages range from older school pupils filling in during the holidays to some like my mother now in her mid eighties, not one has been unpleasant and usually will have some fun with you.

The only other situation I can relate to are the employees at the hotel where we hold our social meetings, they are all fine with serving us, they get paid to do a job so we're just customers but dressed slightly differently.

I will add that one of my fears was as I get older, I might get labelled a sleazy old man, a pervert who likes to dress in women's clothes for dubious reasons.
Thankfully it's just not happening, if you're a CDer or TS no matter what age you are accepted for it, that has become very clear when I talk to others much older than me. If someone wants to transition in their seventies no one will attempt to stop them because of their age .

[Tina_gm]

Hasn't the younger generation always been more accepting of just everything in general than the previous generations? When we were younger, we were more accepting of things then our parents and grandparents. It is just the way things have always been. Elvis had hair and moves that pretty much had not been seen before, ok with the younger people, not ok with the Ed Sullivan crowd. Filmed from the waist up because of his "offensive gyrations" Then in the 60's the beatles came along, even longer hair, and so on and so forth. So it is certainly no surprise that the younger generations are more accepting of gender variance than people of generations prior to them. A lot of us who are coming into our own acceptance are fighting the demons of the non acceptance of our generations and of those before us.

[ellbee]

Maybe it's just me, but I've had the toughest time with hetero (known and/or assumed) men aged maybe 20 thru 45.

And it can only be worse when there's more than one.


Of course, that also includes stuff that happened like 10-20 years ago, and as we know, times have changed a bit since.


I don't know what exactly it is, but that demographic can be *so* not cool with it all.

Is it because I fall under that same category, and view me as one of their peers? Would they have the same response if I were like 70 years old? Who knows.


But I think it mainly has to do with the fact that they're typically in their "physical & mating prime" -- and it can potentially screw with their heads like there's no tomorrow.



Hetero women in that same age group, however, can be *really* awesome about it.

I don't believe I've had one bad reaction/experience -- save for one friend, which kind of surprised me a little. Honestly, I felt she was previously a bit more open-minded than I was lead to believe, but I guess not.

If this demographic isn't warm & friendly about it, or genuinely intrigued, or even supportive & think it's fantastic, then the worst is they're simply neutral about it. Which I'm fine with.


But here's the kicker: Generally speaking, many of them are cool with it all -- but *only* if it's not their BF or husband.


Maybe that's part of the reason why I've never been married, and typically don't have a GF?

Not going to lie: I do like it when they accept & treat me as one of the girls, or as a sister, or whatever. It's like I got a (partial) membership to that special sorority!



Anyway, now I'm just rambling, LOL.

Bottom line is, there's the one group I usually hate dealing with -- and the other I absolutely love!