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Thread: Purge regret - for the last time?

  1. #1
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    Purge regret - for the last time?

    Well I've spent quite a bit of money in recent weeks re-building a basic stock of women's clothes after my last purge. It feels great to be back and this time I'm determined not to purge, no matter what my feelings in the months or years ahead.

    I do have a lot of regret when I think about some of the things I've lost and the money I've had to spend. I don't think I own anything more than 1 month old now and I've been crossdressing and buying women's clothes for decades. Everything has gone at some point and my wasted spends must go into thousands.

    Has anyone else had persistent purges or is it just me? How did you finally stop?

  2. #2
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think the vast majority of us have had multiple purges.
    I stopped when I finally accepted that this is part of me. A good part and not something to be ashamed of and feel guilty about. Once that was done I knew my wardrobe would go through changes, but that would be because of wearing things out, not throwing things out.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  3. #3
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Hi Julie,

    I too have purged more than once. I'm with Cheryl on this - I have accepted crossdressing as part of my life and I'm good with that, so no more purges for me.

    Beth

  4. #4
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    I think the extent one decides to purge is somewhat related to when self loathing occurs. Or when a wife screams "Get rid it or else!" I've never purged. I even have a hard time getting rid of some dresses or slips that no longer will fit me. Maybe I'm to cheap. Anyway, my definite period of self loathing occurred when I was a teenager and my source of women's clothing was limited to my mother's wardrobe. When I was in the army, specifically the infantry, all sense of being "unmanly" rapidly disappeared. Also, being among men and only men for long periods of time without any desire for men sort of taught me my desire to wear women's clothing had nothing to do with my sexuality.

  5. #5
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    I agree that acceptance is a big part - I've been really stressed with work of late and I've not been drinking so I think I needed an outlet of some sort. Seeing my cross-dressing as something that will always be with me and can be beneficial (makes me happier and less stressed) is a start - and I feel that's becoming clearer now.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Purged as a teen! Did not realize what was going on!! Now that I realize have not/will not purge! In my old age have accepted who/what I am and am happy!! Accept who you are!! Hugs Lana Mae

  7. #7
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    When I was a teen 40 years ago I purged quite a few times. I would cut everything up or sometimes I burned it and polyester makes nasty smoke.
    We all learn that purging has nothing to do with stopping us. Just keeps the stash size down. I'm up to five boxes again!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  8. #8
    Member Dee Baker's Avatar
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    Been there done that many times. Aside from the money are things that cannot be replaced as they are no longer available. Cheryl said it well "I stopped when I finally accepted that this is part of me".

  9. #9
    Reality Check
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    If you really want to stop purging, just tell yourself not to do it. It's a simple as that. You should be able to control what your body does.

    Consider this though - If you were an actual woman, you would have turned over most of your wardrobe through the years anyway. Things go out of style, you got older and certain things are no longer appropriate for your age, and you would have gained or lost (or both) weight.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    Oh Lord, I so regret the purges, so many nice dresses, sweaters, heels, wigs.........it never ends.

  11. #11
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    I had a few early purges. I wish I hadn't destroyed pictures of me taken at about 20 years old. The pictures were terrible, but I'd love to remember what I looked like.

    Now I may not open certain drawers for a while, but I know I'll eventually be back, so everything stays!

  12. #12
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I purged many times and wish I still had some of my old pumps. But in my fifties I said to myself to never purge again. So, now I have quite a lot of my women's clothes. But do not purge any more. I do recycle some old clothes but I do go through them carefully.
    Part Time Girl

  13. #13
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    The word (Purge) is a bad word; should never be used as a CDer in any form.
    Storage is a better way to go; Pack it up in some boxes, and put into
    the Attic, Basement, Garage Ceiling, Etc.
    In short, "Don't trow away,-Put it Away"
    Rader

  14. #14
    Member AmyH's Avatar
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    I have purged multiple times, lost hundreds of dollars in the rebuilding process. I have excepted that cross-dressing in apart of me but my SO had not. While my stash was a lot bigger before, I have a small collection that I intend to keep. I even purged some photos that I wish could get back.
    It's a Jeep thing, you would not understand!!

  15. #15
    Member shellybme's Avatar
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    I have purged 3-4 times. The shoes, the dresses and even a couple of costumes all gone. Thank God and my wife that I no longer am going to purge.

  16. #16
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    I'm sure that many cross dressers on this site will tell other members over and over - don't purge! It does not help or eliminate the desire to cross dress and you will have wasted a huge amount of money. If you are having guilt feelings, get a box with a lock and lock everything away for a while until you reach equilibrium again,

  17. #17
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    I am one of the few that has not purges. Downsized a few times and miss some of the things I have gotten rid of. But gives me an excuse to get new things which is good some times.

  18. #18
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    I got rid of some clothing i loved.I will never give into that urge again.I think it comes down to realizing you have got this monkey on your back forever and cant do anything about it. The older i get the stronger my fem side becomes.
    Good luck to you

  19. #19
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Had a big one about 20 years ago. Stopped for almost a year, Lee came back with vengeance but I also came to realize this is me and it's not going to change. That was the big eye opener for me, accepting who I am. I've gone through some times of indifference with Lee but her stuff sat in the closet till I was ready to resume. Lately I've been going through a night gown phase, just have to wear one to bed these days for some reason, no need for makeup, daytime clothes or wigs. But that stuff is there waiting for the urge to resurface because it will in time.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    Fortunately, I've never purged. I do buy a lot of clothes, and over the years I've had several changes of style and sizes, so there is a fairly constant flow of old stuff out as new replaces it. But somehow my collection mainly continues to grow ...

    - Diane

  21. #21
    Fember Lauren Richards's Avatar
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    I too have purged, and a while ago decided that who I am is important to embrace, and to stop trying to be someone else.

    Looking back, it was always an emotional purge which drove the clothing purge. Trying to force myself to stop breathing/being for a while. Like breathing, you can stop for a while by sheer willpower. For a while. In order to live, and live well, we must breathe, and eventually embrace that part of us which is often the hardest to treasure, to hold, to understand. Different for each of us.

    Take care of being you.

    Lauren

  22. #22
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    i haven't purged ever. i did throw a couple things that didnt work out but nothing on the scale of purge everything.

    I did think about it once in 2012, i made an effort to give up on acting in a way i thought was unacceptable to male standards. went 63 days without CDing (it was really just panties and stocking at the time). I guess i set myself up for failure by not purging, im just strongly against wasting money and was worried that a relapse would be expensive. i honestly don't even remember the 2 months i spent suppressing the urges. After 2 months i decided i wasn't even benefiting anyone by being "normal", i was fighting a hard battle for NOTHING. So i decided that i would wear whatever i wanted and would never try to force myself to conform for the sake of nothing.

  23. #23
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Andrews View Post
    Had a big one about 20 years ago. Stopped for almost a year, Lee came back with vengeance but I also came to realize this is me and it's not going to change. That was the big eye opener for me, accepting who I am. I've gone through some times of indifference with Lee but her stuff sat in the closet till I was ready to resume. Lately I've been going through a night gown phase, just have to wear one to bed these days for some reason, no need for makeup, daytime clothes or wigs. But that stuff is there waiting for the urge to resurface because it will in time.
    Same here purged everything while going thru a bad divorce and did not dress again for over 5 years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Diane Smith View Post
    Fortunately, I've never purged. I do buy a lot of clothes, and over the years I've had several changes of style and sizes, so there is a fairly constant flow of old stuff out as new replaces it. But somehow my collection mainly continues to grow ...

    - Diane
    I don't buy a lot of the latest or fad styles and stick mostly to the classics that never go out of style which cuts down on the need to get rid of out of style pieces. I do thin the heard occasionally but learned from a GG friend a few years ago that a girls weight sometimes goes up and down therefore it's best to keep a set of fat clothes in the corner of your closet just in case.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Michelle 51's Avatar
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    I use to purge years ago.Like most of the girls who commented I don't anymore.I,ve learned to accept my femme side.I regret throwing out all all those clothes.
    If I knew where it was going to take me I probably would have put my mother's panties back.

  25. #25
    Reality Check
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    If you were trying to quit smoking, you wouldn't keep a carton of cigarettes around. If you were trying to quit drinking, you wouldn't keep a bottle of whiskey around.

    If you are trying to quit crossdressing, keeping a box of bras, dresses, wigs and women's shoes around is going to make it far more difficult to quit.

    I'm not trying to say anyone should quit, just stating facts.

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