Out at work

[StefaniLara]

I'm slowly being outed at work. It's my fault, if I were to be completely honest. I knew the risk of posting my pictures online, particularly Facebook. A have a profile strictly for Stefani, and I've blocked my male ego, along with as many people as I can think of, particularly my family and friends. Be that as it may, there has been a few people find out.

I already told one friend, Veronica, who admitted to me to being bisexual. She's not shy about it. She's very open about it, and under the influence of a couple of beers, at our local watering hole, I told her. I later told another girl, Veronica's friend, who once worked with us. I think she told a guy we work with because I found out on Saturday, from Sabrina, that he had showed her a picture of me, as Stefani, presumably from my Facebook, or some other site such as Flickr.

And the week after I came back from OKC, another friend, Ruth, said that she had seen a picture of someone on Facebook, and asked if that was me. I knew Ruth wouldn't care, so I admitted it, much to her delight. Then she hit me for not telling her. We talked about it for a bit, which was hard considering everyone coming and going.

I confided in one other person, seeing that people are finding out about it, and Kait was totally okay with it, informing me that I've been showing up on people's profile for several months. That freaked me out so much that I texted Veronica who told me that she had warned me that it was going to happen. I knew she was right, and I knew it was inevitable, but it was still a shock.

So Monday morning, I decided to walk in and talk to my store manager and confide the fact that I am transgender, though I am not sure I want to transition at this time. She was shocked, amazed, but at the same time please that I trusted her enough to tell her. She promised that it wouldn't be an issue, understanding my struggle as she herself is a lesbian, whose wife's sibling is also transgender.

So my manager has my back, and I'm unsure as to how many people know about me as Stefani. I came to the conclusion that if I'm widely known, no one has made an issue of it, and therefore I should relax. It's scary, but at the same time it's so freeing to lift the veil a little more. I never thought I would get here, and I'm wondering how much further I will go.

[lingerieLiz]

Not far from the way I came out many years ago. A couple women figured out that I bought young women's clothes that would fit me at the store where I worked. They would drop hints that I should by my sister or girlfriend this or that. Other SAs picked it up at the lingerie store and at women's stores around town. Eventually I went shopping as a girl. Never had a problem

[Suzanne F]

Stefani
I encourage you to slow down for a minute. Really think about who you are. Don't back into this. If you are a woman then make a plan and live your life! Good luck and if you want to hear how we did it then ask.
Suzanne

[Marcelle]

Hi Stephani,

Well ... the proverbial cat is kind of out the bag . . . so where to go from there? I like Suzanne's advice in that you should take a moment or two to reflect on why you "accidently outed yourself". I highly believe that with the exception of a few instances, most people who go to lengths to hide in plain in site (i.e., post pictures on public media sites, drop hints or tell close friends) have a reason for doing so. Now is the time to be a bit introspective with yourself and ask the tough question . . . Where do I want to go from here? If it is just dressing and having people know and not having to hide . . . that is a good thing. If it is more (read TS) then you have a whole host of things to deal with. In either event, the information is out and most likely to go viral depending on your social circles so be prepared for any blowback as there might be some depending on who finds out.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Mollyanne]

At the end of your post you asked-------"How far will I go?????" the answer is of course AS FAR AS YOU WANT TO!!!!!!!!

Mollyanne

[Pattie]

I went as far as breast augmentation, but won't go any farther. this why I am in femme mode mostly 24/7.

[Lauri K]

Sounds like you have a great circle of support building around you with friends and co workers, which is very good start.

My thoughts are that unless you friends are very tight lipped, you may not have to worry about telling others as good gossip can spread rather quickly when the story is good.

From reading your blog it sounds like you are on the right road to accepting your self, and no doubt family concerns waste a lot of our brain power worrying. With family I think only telling those that need to know would be my approach initially....but you know best how and when to deal with them.

[tgirlamc]

Hi Stefani

+1 to what Suzanne and Marcelle said!... Perhaps being outed will give you some perspective about where you want to take your life. I wish you the best as you explore where the road ahead will lead!

Take Care,
Ashley

[Christine82]

If I may ask, where did you get the breast augmentation

[larry]

Wow--Talk about everybody talking about everybody..

[Stephj]

Some people at work know about me to always an underdresser

[Pattie]

As the saying goes ChristineB if I told you I would have toXXXXXXXX.
I was in a Canadian city and found an srs dr that also did breast surgery too, so stayed for a week longer than scheduled and had it done there.
Don't chastise me for not saying what city or Province but my job could be on the line it was ever revealed that I am a cd.

[StefaniLara]

As the saying goes ChristineB if I told you I would have toXXXXXXXX.
I was in a Canadian city and found an srs dr that also did breast surgery too, so stayed for a week longer than scheduled and had it done there.
Don't chastise me for not saying what city or Province but my job could be on the line it was ever revealed that I am a cd.

I would never chaistise anyone. I have a friend here who refuses to dress due to fear of losing clientele. Me, I'm hovering between relief that my secret is coming out and abject terror. Still, I love that I have my friends who love and accept me. I've never felt this way ever in my life.