... When i find myself staring at a dress in a shop window wondering how it would look on me
... When I am the only guy I know who is happy having skinny arms
... When I watch a movie I always relate to the female character
I could go on ......
... When i find myself staring at a dress in a shop window wondering how it would look on me
... When I am the only guy I know who is happy having skinny arms
... When I watch a movie I always relate to the female character
I could go on ......
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
So, that's what you think of all this -- as someone getting some sort of "fix"? Like we're drug addicts??Originally Posted by Dinky39
Wow.
Oh, and maybe you might want to look at it from the other side's perspective a bit more. Ever stop & consider, for example, that they don't want to burden their SO -- whom they do love & cherish & want to protect -- with all this? Heck, you said exactly one of the things that they don't want to happen, with questioning everything -- and you think it's about *you*, that he wouldn't be this way otherwise? Really? Selfish, indeed.
You say things are good now with you two. That's great. But remember that things don't always work out that way with every other couple out there.
Anyway, to keep this on-topic...
I know I'm in too deep when I'm replying to the above.
When you see a GG in a dress and think, oh my gosh I would look so much better in that than she does, even though
It's probably not true
Honestly, isn't that exactly how we are treating it when we sneak around, encourage our wifes & kids to leave, etc. just so we can get back into women's clothes? I don't totally disagree with Dinky here. As a husband, it is incumbent upon you to be honest with your spouse, not shield them from tough emotions. The questioning typically comes from the dishonesty the occurs over years and years of marriage. Seriously, manipulating you spouse to get them to leave for a few days so you can secretly get your femme on is a pretty sad state of affairs (hmm interesting term, since the behavior is very similar). Now I don't claim to be fully innocent in this, we've all been there I'm sure.
To that end Dinky, before you get overly judgmental, consider your husband's (and all of our) position in all this. We're conditioned from birth that this type of behavior makes us sissies, is shameful, is to be hidden and never admitted to. From our early childhood we're forced to hide in shame and keep this part of us a complete and total secret from everyone. Our parents, our family, all the people that mean the most to us. We're led to believe that we can control it, make it go away, that it's just a crazy fetish or something that we can just bury. Sadly most of us don't find out that this is not the case until after we're married and have spent the first years of our marriage doing exactly what we've been conditioned and become skillful at doing, hiding it. So while yes, 100% honesty from the beginning would be the ideal way to handle this, the fact is society has taught us for a long time that we are not allowed to do that.
I don't disagree with Dinky at all and she is only telling you from an SO's point of view and she makes a salient point.
One needs to come clean so all the deceit and sneaking around doesn't hurt the CDers SO.
If your SO knew the reason why it wouldn't be so bad and she just might understand and be willing to do that for you.
Your SO deserves honesty and your SO needs to honor the fact you came out with the truth.
And how many would even be married to their SO's had they told them early on in their relationship?
Much easier for a GG to walk away then, compared to after having built a life together, having a home together, having kids together...
I get the whole "deception" thing. But one could argue that there's a damn good reason or three for that, too.
Anyway, anyone know where I can check into some sort of rehab clinic, so I can lick this thing?
Yeah, thought so.
Sorry, but comparing this to someone who's a junkie? Yeah, no. Sorry. Been there, done that. Totally different ball-game.
Any GG is more than welcome to come walk in my heels. Maybe then they'll change their tune just a wee bit.
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