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Thread: What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

  1. #1
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    What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

    I was talking to my bff (She supports my crosdressing fully) and when I was talking about my school's letter of motivation, we discussed that talking about crossdressing could either get me in or could be a deal breaker, nothing in between..
    That time it occurred to me that in almost all corporate environment, crossdressing is not accepted. People are having trouble to come out as trans at work itself. I would like to go out full time if the environment is supportive. But question is, as a community, what can we do to get accepted?

    Why do we have to hide and live in the shadows. Dressing up isnt a crime. we are not hurting anyone then why are we seen as inferiors... Its just insane.. I don't know what could I do to get accepted.. Even in this country, United States, teen crossdressers at high schools face discrimination and are suspended.. The future doesnt seem bright unless we do something about it.. What do you guys think?

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    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I think there are quite a few who are beat the drum and trying, but in this culture there is a fever and it will be awhile before the funky stuff dies down. In many states bills are being introduced to take any rights we had away and send us to the wolves without a care at all. The future will be brighter some time in the coming years.
    Part Time Girl

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    You know, I hate to be cynical on this. But outside of the LGBT community, I do not see crossdressing being accepted in the United States. I live in North Carolina and the "Bathroom Bill" only took crossdressing, which was mostly ignored, and made it a issue. When I think about dressing up and going out, something I have yet to do. It is now in the back of my mind that if I am in public, I am thought of as a dude that dresses up to sneak into womens bathrooms. Obviously that is not what 99.9% of us do! Actually I have never heard of it happening at all.

    Maybe one day, but majority rules, and we are not in it. Man I am being a wet blanket!

  4. #4
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    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.

    It will however, become more "accepted" as kids today become adults. Cross dressers represent only a small fraction of any population. It can't be a "social norm" because that represents "normalcy." Cross dressing is not typical, or average, or "normal" in that sense.

  5. #5
    Member Marissa V's Avatar
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    The current mindset can be changed as easely as it was created in the first place. I know...not a popular opinion to have. Makes it sound like a small thing to do, wich it is not. Long hard fight ahead of us because we dont fight with the same weapons so to speak. There are 3 books you should read, all written by Edward Bernays, the inventor of 'public relations'. Manufacturing consent, Propaganda and Crystallizing public opinion. After that, while keeping in mind the current mindset, look at the media again and we're being portrayed. There is a reason lobbies and the media are as good in creating mindsets as they are.
    You can't fly with the eagles if you sleep with the pigeons.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.

    It will however, become more "accepted" as kids today become adults. Cross dressers represent only a small fraction of any population. It can't be a "social norm" because that represents "normalcy." Cross dressing is not typical, or average, or "normal" in that sense.
    But there has to be some way.. Sometimes I feel it depends on how we carry ourselves. I mean, if I am talking to someone all dressed, without pointing the obvious elephant in the room, and if we are discussing, people take it seriously.. But if I behave something in unnatural way, like talkign in high frequency.. you know what i maen, then they raise the eyebrows.. I think if we carry ourselves and show that its part of us, then I think people will accept it.. thats my take..
    What do you think?
    i told couple of my high school gal pals that I am crossdresser, I am submissive, I am straight and I am bottom, its who I am.. And to my surprise, they both were very accepting and supportive.. I shared my pics in dress and they liked it.. But I dont know how will it get accepted.. Most times, crossdressing is used to create humor in the movies and series..There are very few movies which show it seriously.. Mass media could be the other way we can get it accepted..

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    @Marissa, thanks for the books.. Checkout the course on advance communication on coursera.. It talks about how media can change our mindset.. But the key is that we have to do some bit for.. If given a chance, i would like to live en femme full time.. I am serious about it.. But If we could all pitch in ideas and work on it, it could work out..

  7. #7
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    Tortoise and the Hare

    tortoise_hare.jpg

    Slow and Steady is the way to go. You only have to look at history. Changes did not happen overnight, they took years, decades, even centuries to change the "normal".

    One of the issues we have at the moment is the

    umbrella-clipart-Umbrella-Clip-art-9.jpg

    which the transgender community sits under. Whilst we are seen one group, with the worst being accepted as the "standard", there will be resistance to accepting us.

    EVENTUALLY change will happen, maybe not in our lifetime, but you can bet your bottom

    download (1).jpg

    things will change, you just need to do what you can, within your own circle.
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  8. #8
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I think education is the key, no not in the schools but just in general. There is more and more research out there that point out they just don't know why people cross dress or are transgendered and as it gets a more deeper look it will become clear to many is that it's just a part of some and they are who they are.
    I know some may still question that but most will just go on about their business and realize we have much bigger things in our society to tackle than men or even women who cross the gender lines

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    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I don't think crossdressing will ever become fully accepted as a social norm on the west and we'll always be "weirdos" for general population. The only thing that can help us a little are famous people supporting "genderless” fashion and make it popular among younger generations. That would help us get away with dressing in more feminine style and use female clothes and accesories. (check about Genking and genderless fashion in Japan) But if you would want to be presented as a women, not just as a men dressed a little differently, it will probably still raise eyebrows to many. And in corporate enviroment I don't really see this going through at all. Even for women are quite strict dress codes. I don't believe that any big corporation would allow their male representatives dress in anything that classic male clothes.
    Last edited by Karmen; 08-21-2016 at 01:56 PM.

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    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    When one considers the hatred that is being preached today in the US by some very public figures, cd'ing acceptability is a long way off.

    jodi

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    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    I've got a plan. If we use the subgugating CD ray on enough of the male population and convert say 55% of the population into clones of Franken Furter, then we will have won. Muahhahaha!
    Put on a Happy Face.

  12. #12
    Biker Babe Phoebe Reece's Avatar
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    Just discussing this among crossdressers will do nothing to change the situation. What does make a difference is to go out in public in the daylight, crossdressed, and doing normal things. Remember that if you are "passing" as a female, you are not helping to change attitudes.
    Phoebe

  13. #13
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    I am not sure it will ever be considered normal, however IMO if some gals can hold off looking like street walkers when they go out in public ( not saying that is anyone on this site ) , and look normal, perhaps it will draw less attention to the situation, acceptance is different depending on where you live. In some places its not that big of a deal, in others it is, I have trans friends who are fully out and fully supported, and others who have struggled.

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    It will still take a long while if ever. The problem is diversity of crossdressing and gender. Consider a ball stick a rod through it for each variation then add sexual orientation. societal elements and the list goes on. The difference between some of the currently accepted variations is that they are relative low in variations. If you are gay then you like guys there are only male and female. Use the rod to go from extreme one way to the other with the center neutral.

    I realize this is an over supplication and there are a lot of variations in sexual interest, but crossdressing is the only one that is obvious to the non participant.

  15. #15
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    OK!! I have a facebook that is very liberal and most of the time people are on "our" side!! People think NC government is very wrong with HB2 and are sick of all the bigotry and hate that now exists in this country!! If this is a reflection of how others feel then there is some hope!!! I express myself as a male and voice my opinions and usually have people side with me and they even "shout down" those who do not!!! So chin up girls it is starting to swing the other way!!!!!!!! Hugs all around Lana Mae

  16. #16
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    Lana Mae, one thing you should think about critically is whether they are supporting crossdressers or transitioned trans men and women. I have seen lots of people who assume all "transgender" people are like me - cis-normative, transitioned, full-time, on HRT, surgery-bound, etc. Also note, legal rights and social acceptance are two separate, albeit related, battles. True social acceptance will take longer.

    If you want CDing to be more accepted, then the path is clear. A LOT of you need to come out, and you need to start living your lives in the open. Stop hiding that you're a crossdresser. Show people that you're not a problem. Go out and live your lives. If you're constantly waiting for more people to accept it before you do that, you'll be waiting forever.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  17. #17
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    If you want CDing to be more accepted, then the path is clear. A LOT of you need to come out, and you need to start living your lives in the open. Stop hiding that you're a crossdresser. Show people that you're not a problem. Go out and live your lives. If you're constantly waiting for more people to accept it before you do that, you'll be waiting forever.[/QUOTE]

    I know I'll get bashed for agreeing with this but thats it exactly.
    I know you closet girls will nit pick this to death like you always do but honestly there is no other way than to be seen in public.
    No matter what you say if you are not "out "there no one will see you and therefore you are out of sight out of mind so to speak.
    If you want acceptance you personally have to do something about it to earn it.
    I am going to get into so much trouble for being honest but this shit always gets me fired up
    Some want everyone else to do the grunt work but when it comes to pitching in its like they are nowhere to be found.

  18. #18
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    Leonal,
    The situation does appear to be changing in the UK, I've already raised the point about the 2021 national census raising far more questions to help provide better facilities and hopefully funding for the TG/TS community. Gender clinics have had a two or three fold increase in cases waiting for counselling, it's obviously coming more to the attention of the general public . Some local authorities are allowing schools to ask parents what gender the child may want to enter school as, although I'm not so sure about the implications of that thinking, it may deter some parents from entering certain schools with concerns over the style of teaching the child may receive .

    Without doubt society is changing , men and women are becoming more on par , jobs are becoming more equal, sadly there are too many single parent families , so men are performing more domesticated jobs to bring up their children, more women are choosing to work and of course we now have same sex marriages. Gender lines are far more blurred than they ever use to be, a recent report claimed men and women's brains are more similar than previously thought.

    Will crossdressing become a social norm ? Possibly not, I feel there will still need to a definite reason for doing it but our wiring does appear to be coming closer together . Armed forces are accepting TG and TS members, there have been some recent of high profile TSs in industry and commerce.

    On a personal level I no longer concern myself who knows about my dressing, I do think we have to consider how we present ourselves, we may not care at times, but if we want the public to understand and accept us because they think we want to be women then perhaps we should dress and act accordingly. If we dress like tarts then we are going to put the wrong message across, more of a sexual one. I know we all try and conform to society, as CDers we still have that to consider if we want to be openly accepted .

    Tracii does have a point, as I've now found getting out there is the only way to earn acceptance. At our last social meeting there was a wedding also taking place, the bride and groom came to our meeting room and invited us all to join them in a drink in their reception room , that was a wonderful way of being accepted.
    Last edited by Teresa; 08-21-2016 at 04:00 PM.

  19. #19
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Traci I somewhat agree those who aren't out need to decide if it's right for them and do it but keep in mind many here do have to consider their families and spouse if married.
    I've taken big steps for me going out but for my relationship it's been difficult but I made this decision knowing it could be a problem for my wife. So it is difficult for some and I did take the risk and now I'm glad.
    I also agree if your going to go out do so and dress to blend do normal things like shopping or eating out and such don't be afraid to just be yourself en fem.
    Will we ever be totally accepted probably not heck even in our own family's that will be true but we all must decide this on our own and be comfortable with our decision
    Leigh

  20. #20
    Member MichelleDevon's Avatar
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    I think there are two significantly different groups involved here as has already been brought out - those who are transgendered/ transsexual and those of us who are guys dressing up. In some countries the former group have achieved substantial progress towards acceptance following some pretty high profile people pushing the boundaries. They are perhaps perceived as having a genuine reason for their dressing as women. Those of us who are "just" crossdressers are some way behind. I think that, as a group, we tend to hide behind our guilt and believe that we will be ridiculed. And I am equally sure that there are those amongst us who dress and behave in a way that leads to ridicule or suspicion.

    But, that said, I am also of the opinion that what is really needed is education and an increase in society's awareness that we are not freaks or perverts or gays or whatever other labels their bigotted ignorance places on us. We are ordinary people and something in our psychological make-up means that we actually enjoy dressing up in clothes normally worn by the other gender. That is not "wrong" - just a bit different from the perceived "norm". But our own reticence at being out there only encourages society in their misconception about what and who we are.

    We need to be out there in the real world but not looking as though we are parodying womanhood. The more we are seen and the more we appear to be ordinary people the more likely it is that we will be accepted as what we are.

    Personally I try very hard to blend rather than making myself stand out; I am out there whenever I can be and am readily accepted wherever I have been. I try my best to encourage others to be out there too.

    It is a slow, desperately slow, process but it is way better than it was 40 years ago or even 10 years ago...

    Michelle
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    Hi Leonal, I understand all of what everone has put in there answer. I live on the west coast of Florida, Venice south of Tampa. This week end I have done what I like to do most wk ends. Yesterday I went to the Hard Rock Casino from 9:30 to 6:00 the amount of people get to much after 6. I used the women rest rm. I ate in the bufay restrant. In all I was very well received an no one , I say again no one said any thing negative to me. I had a great time playing the slots an roulette, I sat next to both men an women and we talked as we played. I have been doing this for over a year. I have gone to the Casino south of here and stayed overnight dressed all the time. I go out to the local places to eat with my wife, my life in going out as a women is I hate to say is normal. Right now still dressed as a women, my wife she is takeing a nap. Are going to the 7:00 church were I am very well received. We are suppost to go for ice cream, why is my life sort of normal. I don't dress like a hooker, I would not disgrace my wife. I have gone this summer to a conference in Tenn. for a wk dressed all the time. I had more women that came to me and told me i look very good and ask me all kinds of question. I answered to the best of my abilty. Also went to a confrence in Orlando and had the same time of my life. Only this time it was the men that came to me with question. Let me say that if u put your self out there with a negative mind set ,your going to get more heat. I had a few years back went to a collage in our area and talked with students in a human relation class's. I was well received. I will continue to go out as Josephine, if I run into a fool or a person that is looking to make them self feel normal, SO WHAT. I friend of mine another C Dis living her whole life as a women, she even works in Wal-Mart so go figure. Jo
    Last edited by josrphine; 08-21-2016 at 04:30 PM. Reason: add one more story

  22. #22
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever...
    Nor will wearing burqas, chadors, niqabs or hijabs likely be widely accepted in much of the Western world as that also goes against entrenched cultural norms there, but that fact doesn't stop Muslim women from continuing to try to exert their rights and freedoms to do so in those countries...

    Never say "never". Even the Berlin Wall eventually came down, along with the fall of monolithic Communism. Who'd-a-thunk that back at the height of the Cold War? That and "Red" China one day supplying virtually all of the world's low-, mid-, and high-tech manufactured goods as is now the case...

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    We represent about 0.5% of the population. Gays are much more accepted in business as they can blend in. We are such a minute part of the human equation that most people cannot and will not choose to comprehend us.

    If we are to gain a foothold, it must not come through interviews, which we would surely not pass, but through the workplace after being hired.

    If you want retail women's fashions, fine. If you want to be an instructor in CA in Sociology, that's points for you. If you want to be a cosmetologist, that's great. If you want to be in management in 99% of American companies, doh! Don't pass GO, go directly to jail.

    The way to do it is through subversion, just like the commies of yesterday! Sorry, I got carried away. Once you're hired and have passed probation, then come out. In my experience, the company goes bezonkers, then decides that a lawsuit will be forthcoming. In such a case, you will be career limited, but accepted as they don't want a lawsuit and the stigma of being transphobic!

    You will face the effects of being shunned by some, but by others will be accepted with smiles. I have received emails stating that the TG will not be ostracized or litigation will result with resultant termination of employment. Does that create an atmosphere of comradery, or fear of you?

    Forrest Gump said it most eloquently, "Life is like a box of chocolates, it gets sticky and gooey when it gets hot." I said that correctly, didn't I?

    Sorry girls, we have a long way to go and many will fall in the better good of the masses.

  24. #24
    Member Rhian's Avatar
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    We need people in well respected positions within society to come out such as doctors, teachers, CEOs, politicians and police officers so that the general public begin to see that people across all walks of life crossdress and not just creeps and weirdos. When will this happen? I suspect not for many years as anyone outing themselves would face ridicule and would likely see their career suffer.

  25. #25
    Member Michelle_G's Avatar
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    Just Do It! Some people may never fully accept it but the more they see it in public the less of a shock it will be to them. We should never shove it down peoples throats though; we don't like it when others do that to us.

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