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Thread: What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

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  1. #1
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    What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

    I was talking to my bff (She supports my crosdressing fully) and when I was talking about my school's letter of motivation, we discussed that talking about crossdressing could either get me in or could be a deal breaker, nothing in between..
    That time it occurred to me that in almost all corporate environment, crossdressing is not accepted. People are having trouble to come out as trans at work itself. I would like to go out full time if the environment is supportive. But question is, as a community, what can we do to get accepted?

    Why do we have to hide and live in the shadows. Dressing up isnt a crime. we are not hurting anyone then why are we seen as inferiors... Its just insane.. I don't know what could I do to get accepted.. Even in this country, United States, teen crossdressers at high schools face discrimination and are suspended.. The future doesnt seem bright unless we do something about it.. What do you guys think?

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    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I think there are quite a few who are beat the drum and trying, but in this culture there is a fever and it will be awhile before the funky stuff dies down. In many states bills are being introduced to take any rights we had away and send us to the wolves without a care at all. The future will be brighter some time in the coming years.
    Part Time Girl

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    You know, I hate to be cynical on this. But outside of the LGBT community, I do not see crossdressing being accepted in the United States. I live in North Carolina and the "Bathroom Bill" only took crossdressing, which was mostly ignored, and made it a issue. When I think about dressing up and going out, something I have yet to do. It is now in the back of my mind that if I am in public, I am thought of as a dude that dresses up to sneak into womens bathrooms. Obviously that is not what 99.9% of us do! Actually I have never heard of it happening at all.

    Maybe one day, but majority rules, and we are not in it. Man I am being a wet blanket!

  4. #4
    Member Marissa V's Avatar
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    The current mindset can be changed as easely as it was created in the first place. I know...not a popular opinion to have. Makes it sound like a small thing to do, wich it is not. Long hard fight ahead of us because we dont fight with the same weapons so to speak. There are 3 books you should read, all written by Edward Bernays, the inventor of 'public relations'. Manufacturing consent, Propaganda and Crystallizing public opinion. After that, while keeping in mind the current mindset, look at the media again and we're being portrayed. There is a reason lobbies and the media are as good in creating mindsets as they are.
    You can't fly with the eagles if you sleep with the pigeons.

  5. #5
    New Member TaniaR's Avatar
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    Dear CorsetsnPetticoats,

    I don't live in the US so I don't understand all the changes enacted by the 'Bathroom Bill'. Your summary though is quite clear and disheartening to read when it seems that previously there was a much more legally tolerant position.

    I'd just suggest we might not see enough acceptance as we'd like in our lifetimes. However, historical precedent shows that humanity has the capacity to change albeit at its own unique pace....slavery is significantly less prevalent than 300 years ago, for example; racism is being challenged and reduces....even though 'humanity' still has some way to go there, I'd suggest.

    If we don't continue the pressure on society's current 'norms' to evolve then - let's all burn our bra's ...for all the wrong reasons. I don't think I will be accepted for who I know and feel I am in my lifetime but I do believe I am better off than if I had been born 100 years ago.

    So I'd not only acknowledge what we have at the moment but also continue to take incremental steps, hopefully through logic, persuasion, emotional empathy and sensitivity as well as wearing our bras, dresses, skirts and stockings 'normally' so that one day it won't matter at all if you want to wear a dress, bra and knickers along with your "abdominal protector" - I think we all know what I mean.

    We are winning I believe, so do keep going.
    It might be a bit damp in your world today but being a wet blanket - no, I don't believe so.

    Tania
    PS ...any chance of some recommendations for a 'good' corset in the meantime?

  6. #6
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    aint gonna happen anytime soon, that said it is such better than it was. so, keep on keeping on, be yourself and hope for the best..yes all sayings I agree.I just don't see how anything will change dramatically anytime soon.
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  7. #7
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    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.

    It will however, become more "accepted" as kids today become adults. Cross dressers represent only a small fraction of any population. It can't be a "social norm" because that represents "normalcy." Cross dressing is not typical, or average, or "normal" in that sense.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.

    It will however, become more "accepted" as kids today become adults. Cross dressers represent only a small fraction of any population. It can't be a "social norm" because that represents "normalcy." Cross dressing is not typical, or average, or "normal" in that sense.
    But there has to be some way.. Sometimes I feel it depends on how we carry ourselves. I mean, if I am talking to someone all dressed, without pointing the obvious elephant in the room, and if we are discussing, people take it seriously.. But if I behave something in unnatural way, like talkign in high frequency.. you know what i maen, then they raise the eyebrows.. I think if we carry ourselves and show that its part of us, then I think people will accept it.. thats my take..
    What do you think?
    i told couple of my high school gal pals that I am crossdresser, I am submissive, I am straight and I am bottom, its who I am.. And to my surprise, they both were very accepting and supportive.. I shared my pics in dress and they liked it.. But I dont know how will it get accepted.. Most times, crossdressing is used to create humor in the movies and series..There are very few movies which show it seriously.. Mass media could be the other way we can get it accepted..

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    @Marissa, thanks for the books.. Checkout the course on advance communication on coursera.. It talks about how media can change our mindset.. But the key is that we have to do some bit for.. If given a chance, i would like to live en femme full time.. I am serious about it.. But If we could all pitch in ideas and work on it, it could work out..

  9. #9
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    Tortoise and the Hare

    tortoise_hare.jpg

    Slow and Steady is the way to go. You only have to look at history. Changes did not happen overnight, they took years, decades, even centuries to change the "normal".

    One of the issues we have at the moment is the

    umbrella-clipart-Umbrella-Clip-art-9.jpg

    which the transgender community sits under. Whilst we are seen one group, with the worst being accepted as the "standard", there will be resistance to accepting us.

    EVENTUALLY change will happen, maybe not in our lifetime, but you can bet your bottom

    download (1).jpg

    things will change, you just need to do what you can, within your own circle.
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I don't think crossdressing will ever become fully accepted as a social norm on the west and we'll always be "weirdos" for general population. The only thing that can help us a little are famous people supporting "genderless” fashion and make it popular among younger generations. That would help us get away with dressing in more feminine style and use female clothes and accesories. (check about Genking and genderless fashion in Japan) But if you would want to be presented as a women, not just as a men dressed a little differently, it will probably still raise eyebrows to many. And in corporate enviroment I don't really see this going through at all. Even for women are quite strict dress codes. I don't believe that any big corporation would allow their male representatives dress in anything that classic male clothes.
    Last edited by Karmen; 08-21-2016 at 01:56 PM.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    When one considers the hatred that is being preached today in the US by some very public figures, cd'ing acceptability is a long way off.

    jodi

  12. #12
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    In one word...NEVER ! At least in this and nearby states. It's simply not and never will be viewed as a "social norm". I believe there are many, many more of us out there than the statistics indicate. We will never know accurate statistics because we range from closets, sabbaticals, partial to full, etc. I do think the way society is becoming less structured (Anything Goes), the toleration level will rise, but more from indifference than acceptance. We'll just to keep following our stars, which is fine with me. 👗👠💄👙👜👄😊

  13. #13
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I work at a Fortune 10 company in the IT department. In the last 5 years I have seen one male to female transition accepted by the company and supported by HR. Just this year an intern has been hired who will present most days as female but occasionally as male.

    IT, at least where I work is largely republican yet due to HR support the person transitioning was accepted and has been promoted through the company. This goes a long way as support is necessary for something to come to the mainstream. The thing I notice about the new intern is how accepted they are within the larger group of interns. Youth is the next hope for acceptance. With so many young people who see more and more transgendered people and hear about it in the news the more accepted it's becoming.

    I have hope that this will be accepted behavior. Maybe not in my lifetime, but the future looks bright.

    I think will go for cross dressing as well.
    Rebecca Bas

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    But there has to be some way.. Sometimes I feel it depends on how we carry ourselves.
    I agree with Jennifer. It will be accepted as the social norm when it IS the statistical norm. In other words, everyone would need to have 2 or 3 TGs living on their street, they'd need to see them working in the grocery stores, retail stores, restaurants and banks they frequent, they'd need to work alongside a few, who all dress openly. But there simply aren't that many TGs. I don't think that a TG's walk, talk, or fashion choice has anything to do with it. Unless the TG has transitioned, the TG will be read as a male no matter the presentation. That said, I do agree the worst thing you can do is adopt fake female mannerisms like a falsetto voice or a wiggle. People with fake mannerisms don't inspire confidence.

    Still, people are tolerant. Compare the way it is for TGs who go out in public today to how it was during the 1970s-80s and prior. The vast majority of people you will encounter today will not react negatively towards you. You're barely a blip on their radar.

    If you want to come out at work, some members have done this successfully. Major companies have progressive transgender policies. You can always start a thread to ask how to come out at work. Do you work for a company that has a HR department?

    And no, not all TG teens in high schools get suspended in the US. In fact, many are supported.
    Reine

  15. #15
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Other than working on getting accepted individually, not much short of being an activist. That doesn't usually work as folks don't like to have things shoved down their throats.In my own personal case I just did things on my own. Early on after coming out I joined a TG Org. Later, even that moved too slow so I went out on my own to make friends and socialize as my femme self. I'm planning now on joining a mainstream church as my femme self. This particular denomination claims to be accepting of LGBTQ folks. We'll see, New adventure for myself in any case. One step at a time.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

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    Aspiring Member Georgina's Avatar
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    Always dress stylish, ditch the funny voice and walk, use make up if you wish but remain a man.

  17. #17
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever...
    Nor will wearing burqas, chadors, niqabs or hijabs likely be widely accepted in much of the Western world as that also goes against entrenched cultural norms there, but that fact doesn't stop Muslim women from continuing to try to exert their rights and freedoms to do so in those countries...

    Never say "never". Even the Berlin Wall eventually came down, along with the fall of monolithic Communism. Who'd-a-thunk that back at the height of the Cold War? That and "Red" China one day supplying virtually all of the world's low-, mid-, and high-tech manufactured goods as is now the case...

  18. #18
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leslie Langford View Post
    Nor will wearing burqas, chadors, niqabs or hijabs likely be widely accepted in much of the Western world as that also goes against entrenched cultural norms there, but that fact doesn't stop Muslim women from continuing to try to exert their rights and freedoms to do so in those countries...
    i remember people saying the same thing about interracial relationships, a child raised by two dads or two moms, metrosexuals, and men wearing earrings. The more it becomes acclimated into society like the other items, and the more it is proven that it does not infringe on others to live their lives without issues, then it will slowly garner some form of acceptance. (But not necessarily approval by all)

  19. #19
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.
    That's the wrong attitude to have, never say never, you won't be around forever... so you don't know!

    It will be more accepted, when more of you come out of that closet and go out... maybe do what we did and go burn your bras OMG... or panties? no? lol
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  20. #20
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I think education is the key, no not in the schools but just in general. There is more and more research out there that point out they just don't know why people cross dress or are transgendered and as it gets a more deeper look it will become clear to many is that it's just a part of some and they are who they are.
    I know some may still question that but most will just go on about their business and realize we have much bigger things in our society to tackle than men or even women who cross the gender lines

  21. #21
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    I am not sure it will ever be considered normal, however IMO if some gals can hold off looking like street walkers when they go out in public ( not saying that is anyone on this site ) , and look normal, perhaps it will draw less attention to the situation, acceptance is different depending on where you live. In some places its not that big of a deal, in others it is, I have trans friends who are fully out and fully supported, and others who have struggled.

  22. #22
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    The GG,s already have it their way nobody looks twice at a girl or woman dressed in levi jeans and western boots with a flannel shirt and a western hat. am I right on this or not?

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    Pattie, of course, and that's the point. Women are NOT crossdressing by wearing jeans!!!!! That is Normal wear. If 51% of guys wore dresses and skirts as an everyday thing, then it also would not be crossdressing, but just something that guys like to do.

    And now that I think about, do I really want all the other guys dressing up. Heck, I am having enough competition looking good within the small population that already does! Forget that, I'm special dang it. Don't try to take that away from me!

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    I like the term 'visually disruptive'. I don't often get comments these days but my standard response to 'OMG why are you wearing girls clothes' was always 'they're not a girls, they're mine'. This stumped a shocking amount of people! If women can wear jeans I can wear a skirt

  25. #25
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    OK!! I have a facebook that is very liberal and most of the time people are on "our" side!! People think NC government is very wrong with HB2 and are sick of all the bigotry and hate that now exists in this country!! If this is a reflection of how others feel then there is some hope!!! I express myself as a male and voice my opinions and usually have people side with me and they even "shout down" those who do not!!! So chin up girls it is starting to swing the other way!!!!!!!! Hugs all around Lana Mae

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