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Thread: What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle_G View Post
    Just Do It! Some people may never fully accept it but the more they see it in public the less of a shock it will be to them. We should never shove it down peoples throats though; we don't like it when others do that to us.
    This I agree with as well.

  2. #27
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    aint gonna happen anytime soon, that said it is such better than it was. so, keep on keeping on, be yourself and hope for the best..yes all sayings I agree.I just don't see how anything will change dramatically anytime soon.
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    But there has to be some way.. Sometimes I feel it depends on how we carry ourselves.
    I agree with Jennifer. It will be accepted as the social norm when it IS the statistical norm. In other words, everyone would need to have 2 or 3 TGs living on their street, they'd need to see them working in the grocery stores, retail stores, restaurants and banks they frequent, they'd need to work alongside a few, who all dress openly. But there simply aren't that many TGs. I don't think that a TG's walk, talk, or fashion choice has anything to do with it. Unless the TG has transitioned, the TG will be read as a male no matter the presentation. That said, I do agree the worst thing you can do is adopt fake female mannerisms like a falsetto voice or a wiggle. People with fake mannerisms don't inspire confidence.

    Still, people are tolerant. Compare the way it is for TGs who go out in public today to how it was during the 1970s-80s and prior. The vast majority of people you will encounter today will not react negatively towards you. You're barely a blip on their radar.

    If you want to come out at work, some members have done this successfully. Major companies have progressive transgender policies. You can always start a thread to ask how to come out at work. Do you work for a company that has a HR department?

    And no, not all TG teens in high schools get suspended in the US. In fact, many are supported.
    Reine

  4. #29
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Other than working on getting accepted individually, not much short of being an activist. That doesn't usually work as folks don't like to have things shoved down their throats.In my own personal case I just did things on my own. Early on after coming out I joined a TG Org. Later, even that moved too slow so I went out on my own to make friends and socialize as my femme self. I'm planning now on joining a mainstream church as my femme self. This particular denomination claims to be accepting of LGBTQ folks. We'll see, New adventure for myself in any case. One step at a time.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member Georgina's Avatar
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    Always dress stylish, ditch the funny voice and walk, use make up if you wish but remain a man.

  6. #31
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    .................................................. .If you want CDing to be more accepted, then the path is clear. A LOT of you need to come out, and you need to start living your lives in the open. Stop hiding that you're a crossdresser. Show people that you're not a problem. Go out and live your lives. If you're constantly waiting for more people to accept it before you do that, you'll be waiting forever.
    so mainly that - statistically some one on my block has a box of womens things hidden in theyre garage or crawlspace, someone on my block has not told theyre wife, children or friends about theyre pleasure for fashion, someone on my block has went out dressed as a women and interacted with perfect strangers without a care and made some relationships while doing so, someone on my block has gone out shopping and brought something nice for the mrs. that was really for themselves.....

    some how some under the umbrella think that they are more normal or truthful than others, some disparage those not like themselves......thus divides are formed....

    before you jump down my throat and put words in it.......i get it, im guilty of some of these things as i type this.....

    i had a thread awhile ago about what one does as a trans ally...... 5-6 replies ??? i think most here do more than they might realize in just little simple everyday tasks.

    everytime we admit a purchase is indeed for ourselves, everytime we step out into the wild dressed as we wish to whether we pass, have a beard, look like a hooker, (had my debutante period for a while but was private with it) or somewhere in the middle, Prince, boy george, steven tyler say or those with an androgynous looks, we are talking steps to be more socially norm.

    it will happen even if at a snails pace, since coming here ive learned much and share as much as possible while living in established parameters between my Mrs. and when in uncomfortable conversations stick up for myself while not outing myself, many time using "we have a trans person in our family" regularly without telling that person is me.....and when said the conversation assuredly takes a turn and i have never been pressed to answer who...

    so i think we all advocate in little ways and take baby steps while here, just look at all the "first time" threads, or the "i just did it" ones and if anyone would like to use my "we have a trans person in our family" phrase feel free...its fun seeing the person who was disparaging the community squirm out of the conversation and i feel good doing it....

    so once we realize that indeed we are as normal as say furies, trekkies, comic-cons, B&D, cival war re-en-actors, or whatever sub-set of culture you see WE will have to go into the daylight of the sun to do it......we are our worst enemies if you think about it objectively.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  7. #32
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    In one word...NEVER ! At least in this and nearby states. It's simply not and never will be viewed as a "social norm". I believe there are many, many more of us out there than the statistics indicate. We will never know accurate statistics because we range from closets, sabbaticals, partial to full, etc. I do think the way society is becoming less structured (Anything Goes), the toleration level will rise, but more from indifference than acceptance. We'll just to keep following our stars, which is fine with me. 👗👠💄👙👜👄😊

  8. #33
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I work at a Fortune 10 company in the IT department. In the last 5 years I have seen one male to female transition accepted by the company and supported by HR. Just this year an intern has been hired who will present most days as female but occasionally as male.

    IT, at least where I work is largely republican yet due to HR support the person transitioning was accepted and has been promoted through the company. This goes a long way as support is necessary for something to come to the mainstream. The thing I notice about the new intern is how accepted they are within the larger group of interns. Youth is the next hope for acceptance. With so many young people who see more and more transgendered people and hear about it in the news the more accepted it's becoming.

    I have hope that this will be accepted behavior. Maybe not in my lifetime, but the future looks bright.

    I think will go for cross dressing as well.
    Rebecca Bas

  9. #34
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    If it becomes a statistical norm, it will no longer be crossdressing technically. It will be just normal dressing. Like women wearing trousers. Used to be Man's wear, now it is not. Dresses, skirts and makeup would not be women's (only) wear, and therefore one would not be wearing the garb of another gender.

    So, from a mathematical standpoint, by definition, impossible for crossdressing to be a norm.

  10. #35
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    There's two issues going on here. The OP is discussing "crossdressing" and not just the concept of a male body adorned in women's clothing. There seems to be wide acceptance by society that there are men and women "trapped" or "born into" the wrong body. That is a medical/psychological issue. Crossdressing? Trying to convey to the general public that there are men who enjoy not just wearing women's clothing, but, emulating a woman without wishing to transition really seems a little out there. If a crossdressing man cannot explain the "why" he does it, how can society in general understand? So, George shows up Monday in a dress shirt, slacks, tie, shined shoes. Then, on Tuesday Georgette shows up in a dress, hosiery, heels, bra, panty, slip and makeup, and, a wig if he does not have a full mane of hair.

    In Washington State transsexuals and "gender expression" are covered by law. Basically, George may show up as Georgette anytime, and, go anywhere and be protected from harassment. That's a hate crime. I have not heard in the liberal area I live and worked in of any crossdressing male going to work as his female counterpart. Undergoing transitioning? Yes.

    How can crossdressing become the norm when it is not presented by crossdressers. Going to a club at night is not going to generate a lot of exposure to the issue. Even the bathroom law bills seem to only bring up transsexual issues, and, not crossdressing issues.

    I think until why a male wants emulate a woman without transitioning to a woman can be figured out, there is little hope. Tolerance does not equal acceptance.

  11. #36
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    It will never be accepted as a social norm. Ever.
    That's the wrong attitude to have, never say never, you won't be around forever... so you don't know!

    It will be more accepted, when more of you come out of that closet and go out... maybe do what we did and go burn your bras OMG... or panties? no? lol
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  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meghan4now View Post
    If it becomes a statistical norm, it will no longer be crossdressing technically. It will be just normal dressing. Like women wearing trousers.
    You're right. I should have said, "statistically more robust". It will never be a statistical norm because most men simply are not interested in doing this.
    Reine

  13. #38
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    The GG,s already have it their way nobody looks twice at a girl or woman dressed in levi jeans and western boots with a flannel shirt and a western hat. am I right on this or not?

  14. #39
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    Pattie, of course, and that's the point. Women are NOT crossdressing by wearing jeans!!!!! That is Normal wear. If 51% of guys wore dresses and skirts as an everyday thing, then it also would not be crossdressing, but just something that guys like to do.

    And now that I think about, do I really want all the other guys dressing up. Heck, I am having enough competition looking good within the small population that already does! Forget that, I'm special dang it. Don't try to take that away from me!

  15. #40
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    We can start a Men in Pantyhose Month say in January.
    For February we already have international Crossdressing Month
    For March we do Men in Bras Month
    April Men in Thights Month

    You follow

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    August for sure Skirt Month
    Last edited by Bruce64; 08-22-2016 at 05:49 PM.
    Live Today as if it is your last day

  16. #41
    Junior Member drEdge's Avatar
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    We should perpetuate the idea that it's normal for a man to dress in girl's clothes. Back in the 1800s little boys wore dresses all the time! It was only relatively recently that it became such a taboo!! I mean wearing dresses makes more sense for us guys dunnit? Less constricting down there...

  17. #42
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    In some large cities, and a few smaller ones, it is fairly tolerated. In small towns and farming areas, NOT. Fear is the biggest hurdle to going out in public. IF I AM UP TO IT, I plan on going out tomorrow late afternoon/ evening, for the first time in two months to walk around Northern Illinois University park, then go to Dekalb Illinois municipal band's final concert in the park, as it is not hot and humid now. I know it is an older crowd there, and I am odd being the only super tall loner woman there. I just block out the fears, and concentrate on the band and music. It is a liberal university area, too.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 08-23-2016 at 11:42 AM.

  18. #43
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    Just please don't think that LBGT advocacy groups, or the TS community is ignoring you. Right now we TS are getting our rights pulled out from under us, and a getting our asses kicked. Those of us who have no choice will fight for our side first. Good luck in your quest, but right now is probably the worst time in history to bring it up. Five years ago you would have had to face some narrow minded people. Now, you'll have whole states trying to legislate you out of existence.
    Wether you have temporarily inhabited a man's body, and have set that right, or you are a man who enjoys presenting as a woman, we are now the enemy, and one election will not change that.

  19. #44
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    There seems to be wide acceptance by society that there are men and women "trapped" or "born into" the wrong body.
    Wide acceptance is really stretching it. Barely tolerating it, seems closer to the truth, and there are a whole lot of people out there that don't believe in it at all.

    Crossdressing? Trying to convey to the general public that there are men who enjoy not just wearing women's clothing, but, emulating a woman without wishing to transition really seems a little out there.
    Way, way out there.
    If a crossdressing man cannot explain the "why" he does it, how can society in general understand?<snip>I think until why a male wants emulate a woman without transitioning to a woman can be figured out, there is little hope.
    When we cannot explain it, the person who's observing it will come up with an explanation on their own, and it is NOT going to be the explanation you want them to come up with: They are going to assume that you are either gay or transsexual, and are simply in denial.

    Like it or not, most women's clothing is designed to accentuate the female form; the female form has been developed by evolution to attract men, in order to enhance procreation. So.....what we're doing, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, is something that is designed to sexually attract men. That said, non-crossdressing men will not do it, and normal women will not be attracted to it, rather, it will be something that most often makes them actively turned off to us, in the same way that a straight woman is turned off at the thought of having sex with another woman, or a straight man is turned off by the thought of having sex with another man.

    So it's not going to be considered a 'normal' behavior any time soon, if ever. It might be tolerated, the same way that someone who chooses to wear a clown costume every day as his chosen attire might; but we'll still be seen as eccentric at best, bizarre at worst. But it won't be celebrated.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 08-22-2016 at 11:24 PM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #45
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I Am Paula View Post
    Just please don't think that LBGT advocacy groups, or the TS community is ignoring you. Right now we TS are getting our rights pulled out from under us, and a getting our asses kicked.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    So, George shows up Monday in a dress shirt, slacks, tie, shined shoes. Then, on Tuesday Georgette shows up in a dress, hosiery, heels, bra, panty, slip and makeup, and, a wig if he does not have a full mane of hair.
    Undergoing transitioning? Yes.
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Compare the way it is for TGs who go out in public today to how it was during the 1970s-80s and prior.
    I think we have two different arguments. CD acceptance and TG/TS acceptance.

    I think the acceptance of CDs is way different. Not all places accept TG/TS even now. Even in states with laws. Some will use other arguments for not employing TG/TS, or letting them go. I can't see many places accepting a CD that changes back and forth. If one wants to fully present as a woman, it would be similar to a TG/TS.

    Yes thing were different back in the 70-80s, few people ever heard of TG/TS or understood what that was. Of the older people here, how many knew or had any interaction with a TG/TS back then. I had to educate my employer and the military on what it entailed. I was lucky that they both accepted me, plus the some 100-200 people that I worked with. I held a Top Secret security clearance and they had NO problem with it as I was totally out to them. Other than work few if any even thought of TG/TS as it was very uncommon, plus I did a pretty good job of being stealth, including men in a sexual situation after SRS.

    I was the George/Georgette, had to wear pants in my job though, but did have my own longer hair. But I NEVER went back to George once it was approved, in fact I made the leap of faith and had my name legally changed before coming out.

  21. #46
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    What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

    Did anyone read the thread title? For those who did not, I reposted it here. The thread talks about crossdressers, not transsexuals or gay and lesbians. It's about males (like me and most others here ) who wear fake boobs, fake butts and fake hair along with women's clothing and accessories and pretend they are women just for fun.

    It's possible that crossdressing will become more tolerated, especially by businesses (like Target) who want our money, but it will never be accepted as a social Norm. Never. No more than wearing a furry suit and fake tail and pretending to be a beaver.

  22. #47
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leslie Langford View Post
    Nor will wearing burqas, chadors, niqabs or hijabs likely be widely accepted in much of the Western world as that also goes against entrenched cultural norms there, but that fact doesn't stop Muslim women from continuing to try to exert their rights and freedoms to do so in those countries...
    i remember people saying the same thing about interracial relationships, a child raised by two dads or two moms, metrosexuals, and men wearing earrings. The more it becomes acclimated into society like the other items, and the more it is proven that it does not infringe on others to live their lives without issues, then it will slowly garner some form of acceptance. (But not necessarily approval by all)

  23. #48
    Member adrienner99's Avatar
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    The question is not just, "What do we do to get crossdressing accepted?" It's "How can crossdressers get to the point where they don't care if they are accepted or not?"

  24. #49
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    What can we do to get Crossdressing accepted as a social Norm?

    Did anyone read the thread title? For those who did not, I reposted it here. The thread talks about crossdressers, not transsexuals or gay and lesbians. It's about males (like me and most others here ) who wear fake boobs, fake butts and fake hair along with women's clothing and accessories and pretend they are women just for fun.

    It's possible that crossdressing will become more tolerated, especially by businesses (like Target) who want our money, but it will never be accepted as a social Norm. Never. No more than wearing a furry suit and fake tail and pretending to be a beaver.
    its most certainly not about males like you, almost everyone who responded had constructive thoughts to move things forward and some ways to do that, not the negative hyperbole you spew out with regularity. as you may have seen in quite a few posts not everyone who dresses identifies as "Male" i would be one, some are bi or gay or have not yet accepted they are transsexual........since you re-posted the question, "what can you (we/Krisi) do to get crossdressing to be accepting as a social norm", you still haven't answered that....
    Last edited by mykell; 08-23-2016 at 04:01 PM.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  25. #50
    Oh Whatever. Louise DK's Avatar
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    Crossdressing makes little sense, if any at all. And furthermore movies and media in general, still portraits the crossdresser/transvestite as being gay, wich we all know most is'nt. That creates an image in people minds, of us fishing for men, or even worse being a gross sexual deviant.
    So I belive the general population has the wrong picture of us in the first place.
    If you want acceptance, you have to get out in public, and interact with people, dress appropriate, and be kind and answers their questions if they have any.
    Even then, most people will think it's wierd, because it is wierd. But when they realize that we are harmless, and that we are not pedofiles, and whatever else they vould think of us. Then maby they will think "whatever". Thats probably the best we kan hope for.
    And to me that would be good enough.

    Thats how I think about it.

    Louise.
    Last edited by Louise DK; 08-24-2016 at 02:13 AM.

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