Femme behavior & movements

[Michelle Crossfire]

I have been reading alot of posts lately where people go to malls and other shopping venues and people watch. i have tried this also. i see alot of women dressing down these days. I see alot of items such as sweats and ill fitting yoga pants alot. i do also see better dressed women as well.
it might be helpful if we start posting our observations when people watching. The movements, mannerisms, and the like. What does everyone think? Lets start sharing what we see for the benefit of all. I will start with an observation that my wife also spotted. We went out and one thing she noticed is a sure giveaway is the way one walks. Those not walking with confidence (especially in heels) might draw some attention, so i am trying to work on my walk more. hope that serves as a good example of what i am trying to say here. What else have you observed when people watching?

[Jaylyn]

We've watched women in malls and have also noticed there are becoming less well dressed ladies. I guess going comfortable is really the in thing in a lot of girls. The well dressed ones stick out like a sore thumb and are becoming more rare...

[Tommie.]

The most important thing, and no matter how you you look well dressed or not, is when you open your mouth and out comes a male voice.... ruins everything. As for appearance, elbows in and hands slightly out and cupped.... the list is endless... huggs..... tommie

[lingerieLiz]

Women naturally bring their leg more to the center and take shorter strides than men. Their hips will naturally move side to side more -- simply because their hips are wider apart for their size. They also tend to have less bend in the legs since doing so is even more inefficient with a wider stance. Women also tend to complete strides faster in order to center their (extra top side) mass above their legs quicker

[NancySue]

Ditto thoughts with Jaylyn. We've also done a lot of observing at malls, restaurants, movies and concerts for clues of how to blend in. I really don't want to be negative, but honest. We wouldn't use the word "comfortable". Yes, there a few who look nice, including my wife, but we agree, our description for most is "rural sloppy". Messy hair, no makeup, baggy tee shirts, either baggy pants or too small tights, flip flops, bra straps, etc. I try to "dress down" to blend in, but a large part of my goal is to just look nice, but not stand out. Wearing makeup, even a little, a nice blouse, combed hair, etc. would cause unwanted attention, let alone low heels, polished nails, earrings, a skirt, etc. I'm not exaggerating.

[Tracii G]

Oh no not the CDers dress better than most women these days thread.
Why is it people here bash the women of today for wearing what they want?

[Connie D50]

Hi Michelle
this might help.
Connie

https://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

[Alice_2014_B]

I am very fortunate with years of experience walking around indoors in high heels, at least six inches; that poses no problem when I go out in public en femme.
I do a good arm swing when walking, but not too much.

[I Am Paula]

Women in general, try to take up as little space on this planet as possible. They sit, and stand all tucked in. You will never see her with an arm out, along the back of a sofa, for instance. A man is programmed to take up as MUCH space as possible, to look bigger to an opponent. Sit up straight, legs together or crossed at the thigh. Elbows tucked in.

[Lana Mae]

Well, here in NC I have observed: most women in my town wear jeans and a top, however I have noticed a few in skirts and even dresses!! I do my "girlwatching" at the local Food Lion grocery store. I have even seen them in heels!! Many still wear dresses to church and wear heels!! Also remember years ago, seeing one women with lipstick, curlers, and wearing a lounger and slippers!! The women here still dress neatly if they are in jeans and a top!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Krisi]

I wonder how many women go out to watch how men dress in public? How many men go to Home Depot or Lowes in a suit and tie to pick up plumbing parts or grass seed?

I wonder why crossdressers expect women to spend an hour on clothing selection and makeup just to go to the store for groceries?

For those of us who have been around a while, the "dress code" for being out in public has been growing more casual for years. Many years. My grandfathers wore hats in public (but never indoors) and suits and ties. My grandmothers wore corsets and dresses or skirts and blouses. My school teachers wore suits or dresses (as appropriate).

Complain all you want, people are not going to change to please us.

Yes, I would like to go to the mall in a fancy skirt and blouse, panty hose, heels, fancy jewelry and makeup, but people would look and say "He Joe, look at that crossdresser walking towards us." Instead, I wear jeans and a plain blouse, plain jewelry and flats. People just walk on by, not noticing me.

[docrobbysherry]

So, I guess being a trans is easier these days? Just throw on some loose fitting, sloppy but comfy anythings, no shape wear at all, slip on your flats, wig and forms and off u go. You're blending perfectly!

Sorry. I'm a CD. I don't dress often. But, when I do I want to look like the women I find attractive! I look at it this way: Since I can't pass period, I mite as well look good. When I want blend I can do that much better in guy mode. I KNOW I can go completely unnoticed that way.

My walk in heels is pretty good. But, the rest of my female movements suck! In a recent video the male director had to show me how to shake my head and touch my hair to look more naturally fem.

[Tina_gm]

Women do not dress up as much as they used to because that is the general direction of clothing. So what is dressed up today and what is dressed up yesterday are two different things. I am not saying I like it, but don't put this on women alone. It is a society thing. Where once it was not as easy for a woman to be "overdressed" now it is.

As far as feminine movements, Paula made the best observation. Man spreading vs being "smaller" Some of this is genetic IMO, and some of this is learned behavior from emulating fathers, older brothers, or just other men in general. ALTHOUGH.... the man spreading of today is far greater than in generations past. Look at older pics and it was more common for men to cross their legs at the knee. This seems to be a mostly american thing. It is kinda stupid looking to me actually, just sloppy looking in general IMO, but it is what it is these days.

I believe that most of us who CD have these fem qualities within us, maybe some more than others ( i have a lot of fem mannerisms that are natural) and for me it was always a matter of not trying to look or act fem rather than trying to look moreso. For me, now I just let myself do what feels natural and sometimes it appears to be more fem than many other men. One last thing. Over exaggerating it is always a sure bet not to blend well, if that is your intention.

[Dana44]

Women of our age do not dress up, but now I see the very young dressing far better than the women today. I think that generation will restore some things and they are showing their femininity. I've seen young girls in very short dresses and nice heels when we were in San Antonio at the hotel. The older ladies were dressed casual, but the young were shining and looked great. It was a strange observance and of course I was in a skirt and nice top walking past all this. Here I see the same thing.

[Michelle Crossfire]

I think this thread is heading in the wrong direction. Maybe I didn't come across clear enough, not unusual for me, but all I was trying to find out was what behaviors and mannerisms have you observed whe people watching, tried to pick up on, and eventually tried to incorporate into your daily life or when you dress. The observation of how women dress now a days may not have been a good example, but it is what I see quite often. Hopefully that clears everything up. Thanks

[Helen_Highwater]

Michelle,

So in line with the thread women;

Having put on a coat will flick their hair over the collar.
Walk with shorter strides.
Especially in heels will put one foot slightly in front of the other when walking.
Will often stand with their heels together, feet parallel, bottom tucked under slightly.
Tend to keep their elbows in and slightly bent when walking. In cold weather will walk with the arms straighter, hands folded, wrists bent at 90 degrees away from the body. An exception is when they carry their hand bag in the crook of the arm. Sometimes this is accompanied by the hand lightly folded and the wrist turned upwards.
Smile more.
Will touch someone lightly on the arm as a way of showing empathy.
Are more likely to engage a SA in conversation.
Will wait until they can put their handbag down on a counter before searching for their (coin) purse.
Sit cross legged. If their heels are causing them discomfort they'll dangle the shoe on the end of their toes.
Take smaller sips from a glass, smaller amounts on a fork, Nibble a sandwich not bite at it so as not to smudge their lippy.

The list is endless. To some extent it's a state of mind that's not to say it doesn't need practice.

[Kandi Robbins]

Michelle,

We know each other, so you will understand what I am talking about. I fool NO ONE! No one in their right mind thinks I am a woman.

That said, I go out all the time, go wherever I want and do what ever I want as dressed as a woman. No one cares, I have never had a single negative experience and have been out well over a hundred times.

Why? Because I dress appropriately for my age and the situation I am in. I also take great care to walk in a feminine fashion and I am quite nimble in my heels. Most importantly, I walk with confidence, I act like I belong (which, of course I do) where ever I go. While what you are wearing is very important, how you act is key. If you act nervous, if you act like you shouldn't be there, you will make others around you nervous and draw attention. It's been said here so often, own it! The very significant majority of people do not care about you, they are so self absorbed to notice much else.

[sometimes_miss]

I wonder why crossdressers expect women to spend an hour on clothing selection and makeup just to go to the store for groceries?

Perhaps because when we are growing up, we know that girls spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear, all to get the particular 'look' they want to present, before they walk out the door. At that point, we think we know everything, so we stop thinking about it, and for the rest of our lives, just assume nothing has changed.

When I was young, it used to bewilder me about why so many crossdressers who don't stand a chance of passing, go through so much trouble to try to get every movement down right, their make up perfect, and change their voice. Then I realized that they're not trying to pass to others; they're trying to pass to themselves. Hence, all the 'selfie' pictures that are so carefully set up and posed to give as much of a female appearance as they can.

[samantha rogers]

Just a thought.... I have spent years now trying not to "act like a woman" but rather trying to unlearn all the years of conditioning I lived through trying to "act like a guy". In carefully removing, one by one, every mannerism or movement I identify as "learned" masculine movement and simply allowing myself to be myself the feminine patterns have simply emerged. Im just being myself now.

[Tina_gm]

I truly believe that many of us who are at least CDers have natural feminine tendencies, but perhaps we have tried so hard to cover them up as to not blow our own cover? I mean from a real early age too. Overcompensation. Now personally, I have never had any problem being feminine. Quite the opposite in fact. Many of these so called feminine traits, actions, characteristics come to me naturally. I don't have to try hard to do any of them, I pretty much just let go and they are there. Now, being that I am a man, I do have natural masculine traits and characteristics as well.

I think there are a lot of us on here who can just "let go" and those feminine characteristics, motions and such will come. Overall, just make yourself smaller, be a bit more expressive with your hands and overall gestures. Women tend to be more expressive in overall gestures, unless of course it comes to men being angry.....

One thing I really want to emphasize is to not over exaggerate this. These are all basically subtleties. It is probably a reason why many on here are struggling to be more feminine. Subtle changes rather than a complete 180. One last thing, look at older videos and photos of men, say from the 1970's and earlier. I believe you will notice that we are for whatever reasons creating a westernized version of macho that is becoming more and more limited as far as men go. More things men "can't do" that they once did. Leg crossing at the knee now being one of them. Before it was not considered to be feminine to do so. It was just considered to be a comfortable way to sit.

[Brianna Robyn]

Going back to the original post...what I have observed most is the difference in body construction and proportion between guys and girls. I think this is where most of the "female" mannerisms and movements come from. It is difficult to emulate as a CD simply because of the construction of most of us, but as Samantha said in her post, trying to forget all the extra guy mannerisms society tells us and just letting it flow is a good start.

[curvious]

(edit @Krisi)

I think women LIKE to get dressed up and look and feel good. They do it for other women and they do it to get noticed. Guys are just plain sloppy. I have so many male friends who wear those god ugly gray baggy cotton sweats with old sneaker and old blah grungy dingy t shirts. Women rate other women on how they look. I think guys usually only rate other guys if they look out of place in the workplace (like a big old pizza stain on a polo shirt. LOL)

[Lorileah]

I think this thread is heading in the wrong direction.

um...yeah. ya'll know we don't tolerate women bashing or complaining how women dress right? So let's keep this on mannerisms and walking and such


Yellow card: Don't bash how people dress.