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Thread: My Flame went out where do I go from here?

  1. #1
    Natalie Moore Natalie_393's Avatar
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    My Flame went out where do I go from here?

    I came on here to seek out some advice on what I should do to relight my flame for my desire to crossdress, In the past 6 months my desire to dress up has gone down hill ever since for many countless years I could hardly wait for any chance to dress it was thrilling! Recently I noticed something was off I've had a bunch of chances to dress on various occasions and just didn't want to for some reason I guess I've lost the drive to do so. I've always loved this side of me it's different and unique I certainly wouldn't want this to be pushed in the corner and forgotten about, my question is what are some things to make it interesting again thank you for any advice

  2. #2
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    Perhaps it would help if you would describe your dressing as do you stay in doors, go out for a drive, or go out in the midst of the general population? Do you dress and sit in front of a computer, go for a drive to a drive through, or go shopping and/or dancing?

  3. #3
    Natalie Moore Natalie_393's Avatar
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    thank you BillieAnneJean
    I do only dress indoors because nobody knows I do it but perhaps a drive would be fun!
    Last edited by Lorileah; 08-24-2016 at 01:17 AM. Reason: no need to quote post above yours

  4. #4
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Personally if your still feeling good without the dressing - enjoy it while it lasts (because it probably won't last).
    If it's getting you down, then dress up and go shopping, movies to add more adventure in your day.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  5. #5
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    Go out to the mall, take a flight enfemme or apply for a part time job enfemme the flame will never burn out this is a part of who you are, at least in my case

  6. #6
    Member Laurenlovecd's Avatar
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    I think it is normal for your desire to dress to go up and down, I know mine does. New outfits help me, Amazon Prime is great, cool cheap outfits and anything you don't like you can send back no questions asked. Drives are great, even something as simple as new glasses or a new wig to try on really motivates me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    [SIZE="3"]Lauren[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I suggest the opposite approach. Stop dressing. Stop visiting online T sites. Stop chatting with and about T's. Sounds like your closeted so u should be able to do this. If u really want to!

    Try NOT to think about any facet of dressing. Then, see how long u can go before everything to do with dressing finally becomes more important to u than oxygen!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member
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    Don't worry about it. The flame may have gone out but the pilot light is still lit. Just let it go until something or another turns the flame back on. And if it doesn't and you're happy, enjoy life.

    Ineke
    sometime philosopher in residence, uh, closet.

  9. #9
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I'm good either way myself but if you can believe what some folks post on here, many would love to be in your position as the CDing seems to be something they would rather not have. The reason I can be either is because I've made it a total choice to do or not rather than leave it as a compulsion, then I'm at the helm and not the "pink fog".
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
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    Just Hang In There !

    Hi Natalie, What goes around, Comes around !!
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  11. #11
    Banned Spammer
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    You are just in a lull right now don't worry about it.
    Where do you go from here ? Anywhere you want I would think.
    Not having the desire to dress doesn't mean anything other than you just don't want to dress. Its not the end of the world.

  12. #12
    Reality Check
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    If you don't feel like crossdressing, why push it? I have had many hobbies come and go over the years. Somehow the interest goes away and I move on to other things. I was big into model railroading, working on and customizing cars, woodworking, antique clocks and probably some other things that have slipped my mind.

    There's no point in doing something you don't feel like doing unless it's something that needs to be done or you're being paid for it.

  13. #13
    Member cdtraveler's Avatar
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    I think the ebb and flow happens to a lot of us. For me stress and how if feel about myself can be a factor. Many times I simple don't have the time. Thing for me though is the dressing is less and less about an erotic thrill of some kind and more about my desire to embrace my feminine side needs. So if I'm in a dressing lull or in the pink fog, I always seem to still find the time to pamper my skin, hair, hands, feet and face in ways that alow me to reafirm that this side of me deserves my care and this helps.

    Plus I like what others have shared about using that time for other healthy hobbies or activities.

    Amanda
    Last edited by cdtraveler; 08-27-2016 at 05:28 PM.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Mollyanne's Avatar
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    sounds like there are other problems here that need to be addressed.

    Mollyanne
    "To thine own self be true"

  15. #15
    Member elliemoss's Avatar
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    Hi Natalie, absolutely nothing to worry about happens me all the time. Really bad idea to force yourself into it. Just enjoy all the other aspects of your life.

  16. #16
    JoAnn MsJoann's Avatar
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    I'm with you on that...I used to think nothing of going out fully dressed. It was lots of fun. The only place to have good time was at a gay bar. (to be accepted)....daily, I wear ladies clothing, toned down a bit, but I can always find something to wear to where I can blend-in in public. Don't worry.....(and who cares anyway) a keen-eyed GG will always spot you (or me)...LOL...good luck!

  17. #17
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Most days I wake up praying to god that my flame would just go out.
    Almost 42 years now, and it never does for very long.

    Honestly, I'm not sure how I'd cope, if I actually got my wish. I'd become a different person, and I'm not sure I'd like that long term.

    Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on your POV) ... like someone else said "the pilot light never seems to go out".
    As long as you're happy where you are now, who cares? It'll probanly come back 'round like a bad check, LOL.

    On the other hand, if you want to dress, but it just doesn't feel like the same dynamite that it used to ... try something new! Buying a new wig always seems to lift the CD doldrums for me ... Especially one that really changes your look. It's like your whole wardrobe is full of new possibilities :-)
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jaymees22's Avatar
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    Some days I feel like a girl, some days I don't. Just go with how you feel on any particular day. Hugs Jaymee
    I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!

  19. #19
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    I went almost a year without dressing. My SO is ok with my girly side so it was just losing interest for some reason. Then the weather got hot and she asked me to shave my underarms... Which led me to shave my legs... Which led me to shave my bikini line... And the rest is history! I say do what feels right. Dressing or NOT dressing is only a problem if you make it one. Go with the flow sweetie.

    Hugs.
    Katie

  20. #20
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I am starting to come out of one of those!!! No desire to dress; not even underdressed panties!! It has lasted three days! Tonight underdressed! Tomorrow dressed!! Yes, the pilot light was still on!! I am so wanting tomorrow to come!! This has happened before and I just go with the flow!! All drab for a few days and then boom the desire comes back like a bull!! (but I have promised myself to not spend any money on anything this time) (transformation coming up in a month!!!!) Just go with it , it will change!!! Hugs Lana Mae

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    I have noticed that the desire to cross dress has waxed and waned through the years while it also evolves and takes you down different paths.

    For me there is always a baseline. I only wear feminine underthings and I use perfume daily and keep my body as hair free as possible. However I find that I have periods of a few weeks to a few months when I have no desire to put on that lovely skirt or slip into that pretty blouse. I just accept it as part of being the cross dresser that I am. It always returns though so don't for goodness sake go and throw out your female clothing

  22. #22
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Such is the life when it comes to gender VARIANCE. You were born male, and right now that is the dominant side. Just go with it. (same can go when the feminine side is the controlling side too.)
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  23. #23
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Natalie,
    Getting bored dressing at home? I totally get that!
    I'm not sure what you do when dressed at home, but
    running out of new things to do is bound to happen.
    You need to expand your CD zone...get out of the house!
    If you're willing, I'd try to find a friend, or group to meet up with.
    Once you're out of the house, you'll find many more things that will make CDing interesting for you again.
    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    Last edited by Hell on Heels; 08-26-2016 at 04:08 PM.
    I smile because you are my friend, and
    I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member CDTiffany's Avatar
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    Natalie, Welcome to the club. I have been a CD girl since I was 10 years old. I dress for 4 or 5 years, take a break "just not feeling it"
    and than BAM, I have to dress again, Take a break, BAM, I have to dress again. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. Totally natural.
    RULE NUMBER ONE..... DO NOT though away any of your clothing or famine supplies. You will get bit by the bug. And it would really stink to have to buy a new wardrobe all over again.
    I think this advice goes to all T-Girls that stay home, Go out in public, Surf the web, ect.............
    It's normal to have down times. If you are truly a T-Girl it will come back to you.
    In closing I do have to say Natalie. I you are posting on this forum. Your T-girl break should be a short one.

    XOXO Tiffany Amber Rhoads.

  25. #25
    Gold Member
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    Hi Natalie. I'd like to echo what everyone has mentioned. I've been going through this myself, but that's just the way it is. Take it in stride, and just enjoy your times when you do and will dress.

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