What makes us - us?

[rocval2001]

I have been doing some thinking this week and was wondering what makes us - us? I mean it would be easy if I could be guy all the time - but that is not the way I feel. I need to get in girl mode - it feels very natural and right to me. I try to bring my female side into my daily life, as I am sure a lot of us do. My conclusion what makes us is that it is just who we are - it is part of us. It is not a choice its a way to express a part of us. I haven't found any hard core scientific evidence that it was one specific part of our brain - or some event in our lives that caused this - it just who we are.

Agree?

Love & Hugs

Valerie

[MartineCD]

Hi Valerie

Like yourself I have been pondering the same. I've searched through my past for a single incident in which my thinking and feeling was significantly altered and come up with nothing. I can recall the first time I tried on womens underwear and it affirmed something that was already there. I wouldn't have gone looking or tried them on if there wasn't something already part of me that wanted to. As you've said Valerie it's just who we are.

M x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Valery , It's very simple, It's just who I am & It's just what I do,

I really don't need a reason, I enjoy having the best of both worlds......

[stormy_skyxx]

Same here, i always wondered why despite being born as a male, always felt different, the realization has come an year ago more or less, i am this way, stop...there is nothing to question myself... and actually since i started this, in my opinion, positive thinking i feel much better, i started to go out, taking proper make up & style lessons, from a shy closeted cd only, i think i have become the (pretty, i think) girl that i am....so what makes us, is us...
And id like to thank you, because that is a very interesting topic that you opened and i hope many girls like us would respond...
Gilda...

[Tracii G]

Its ok to wonder but don't get all obsessed trying to figure it out because I see so many here fall into huge depressed states trying to figure it all out.
Why this why that and if I do this must mean that I am this or that.
Really a waste of time IMO.
Its kind of what is the meaning of life question there is no answer.
Just accept it as part of who you are.

[Krisi]

I used to make my living fixing things. 99% of the time I could point to what caused the malfunction, replace it and the item was as good as it was before it broke.

Human brains are not that simple. Sure, we have therapists and doctors who may attempt to tell us why we do things or act in certain ways, but they have no solid proof. They can't X-ray our brains and point to the part that causes us to be crossdressers.

In my mind, I believe I crossdress because my mother was hoping for a girl, not a boy and used to dress me as a girl when nobody was around and before I knew the difference. Is that the reason? It makes sense to me but nobody knows for sure and at this point in my life, it doesn't matter.

The reason is probably different for every one of us so think back through your life for any clues if it's important to you. Otherwise, just strap on your boobs and go on with life.

[shellybme]

I am sometimes at a complete loss of who I am. As some us can relate, I am completely masculine every way shape or form. You would never believe I was a cross-dresser unless I told you. I have no hobbies that are feminine and I enjoy everything a normal guy does. I just like wearing panties, dresses, heels and looking pretty. It really messes with me sometimes.

[Kate Simmons]

Just lucky I guess.

[Rachael Leigh]

Valerie I've been reading a book on this and it's even from a Christian psychologist and even he says it's really not known why we are this way and have a fem side that needs expression, oh yes there are lots of theories but nothing to pinpoint anything they can say for sure.
For me that is a bit of validation and helps me cope better

[DIANEF]

I've been dressing for over thirty years now. I stopped asking myself why a long time ago. Fact is I never found an answer and don't think I ever will. There are many incidents I could look at and say. well. yes, no, maybe... but there's no real point. I just enjoy what I do and am happy with my other self.

[Dana44]

Actually, being a DES kid and getting synthetic estrogen washed over a male developing body in the womb did a number on me. I have more female hormones than male and it has always been that way. Had to try to be manly and wow what an act. I always knew I was different and went through life beating to my own drum as I knew I was not like other men. I started to crossdress naturally as my brain switches from masculine to feminine. Both sides of my brain is open and I have the empathy of a woman and other characteristics like body. But I identified as a male and am quite gender fluid and sometimes identify as a female. Strange it is and I consider it a gift as I am creative and inquisitive for knowledge. Came from engineering and now a novelist. Yep when having a beer with a type A goes well but I note the difference between us and it is far different.

[Kandi Robbins]

The complicating factor in determining what makes us who we are is that there are so many different variations of "us". No one questions a man that is more rugged or more masculine than the average male and that is swinging to one extreme. We swing a little (or a lot) to the other extreme. We simply have an unexplainable part of us that loves things feminine. Some can manage that, some need only periodic feminine time and some need to transition. The honest truth is we'll never know and it differs across the board. Once I stopped wondering why and started accepting that this was a part of me and that I deserved to be happy, my life changed for the better. Circumstances (and that is a HUGE factor for many of us) have been favorable to me such that I can get out completely en femme as many as three times a week, and for that I consider myself blessed.

[Amy Fakley]

At least for me, it's like one of those fractal images where you can infinitely zoom in: the closer I look, the deeper I dig, the more I pull things apart, the more I find. It goes as deep as I care to look.

Throughout my life there have been events that forced me to confront it ... forced me to pull back the curtain and admit it was there ... but the fact is ... whether I chose to try and ignore it or hide it or supress it ... it was still there. It was always there. So I can't say that I believe anything "made me this way" other than the fact that I was born.

Maybe it was hormones in the womb ... maybe it was solar flares the moment I was conceived ... who knows?

The only thing I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that there is no moment in my life that I can remember, where I can honestly say "I didn't feel this way". So in that respect, the reason just doesn't matter. I might as well sit around pontificating about "what made me left handed". Doesn't matter why ... it just is, and I've gotta deal with it.

[Amber83]

I read an article not to long ago about human chimerism. It is estimated that 1 in 7 pregnancies start as multiples. In the embryo stage when cells are coming together to form the babies, the one embryo's cells are absorbed by the other embryo thus leaving one baby to develop. I believe this is where us all come from. Me being born a male could have absorbed an embryo that was female thus is why I love to dress up. But it is who I am and I love to dress up like a woman and act like a lady. That's my 2 cents on this subject. Have a nice day ladies.

[Krisi]

I really don't believe that anything that happened in the womb causes crossdressing. As fetuses, we know nothing about clothing or even sex. Even as infants we don't.

Having female hormones might cause us to have more feminine features than other men but it wouldn't explain the desire to wear a dress or high heeled shoes.

[Teresa]

Valerie,
I finally came to that conclusion when I realised and accepted I was born this way, our wiring is different. As you say it feels natural , that didn't become apparent until I ventured out this year to meet others socially. Even the first time as soon as I jumped in my car, I didn't feel nervous and when I arrived at the venue it just felt right to be out dressed I was finally fulfilling an inner need. So many aspects came together, dressed around the house is so different to being out, you feel the pleasure and also the problems of women's clothes and outsiders are seeing you deal with all that . It's also the point where I began to lose thoughts of passing, it didn't matter any more, this was me presenting myself good or bad, do,I pass , as what ? I'm TG and have a need to do this and I'm trying to do it as best I can.

Krisi,
It has clearly been shown now that we are all one gender at conception the male develops from the female and that's why some of us have different wiring , our gender and sex can be defined in so many different ways. I've always know I was born like it. I'm sorry to bring this point up again but it's not a hobby to me I have an inner need that has to be satisfied, no external agencies caused that, my bi-gender orientation was through a combination of events at the age of 8-9 that tied all the lose ends together, I've lived with the feelings ever since, no ebb and flow. I genuinely can't take it or leave it thinking someday it will pass , I'm a lifer and have to live with it 24/7.

[Sarah Louise]

I would genuinely like to know why I CD. Not that I worry about it, but I would just be very interested to know.

I have no idea why, but I know I like it!

[ReineD]

You should google "erotic imprinting" or "sexual imprinting" other than human mate choice, and see if anything rings true for you. Look at publications (google books) or articles published on university websites. There is a great deal written on the subject.

The idea is that events or a single event during early childhood sets the course for future eroticization of non-human sexual preferences that culminate during the adolescent years. And once it is set, it is difficult or impossible to reverse.

[Gen D]

I mean it would be easy if I could be guy all the time - but that is not the way I feel. I need to get in girl mode - it feels very natural and right to me.

It took my 35 years of living and over a year of therapy to be able to say this words and I it still still feel strange from time to time and I have to remind myself that it is natural and right.
Just today I disused that with my wife.

[CDTiffany]

10 years old wearing mom's two piece bikini in the bath tub.
A week later wearing mom's lingerie. A week later wearing moms dresses.
Many years later.... Make up. Nylons, Heels and doing my hair!
THIS IS WHO I AM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Valerie.

Apparently. You are Valerie!

XOXO Tiffany Amber Rhoads.

[CONSUELO]

When I was very young my sisters dressed me in my aunt's corset as a joke. I still have a vivid memory of that time and from then onward I loved to dress up and did so as much as I could.
Was there something there that this incident just catalyzed? I have no idea. There is a growing body of scientific research that demonstrates that "nature" can trump nurture, but for males especially there is also evidence of early events driving or channeling your erotic path as Reine has pointed out.

[Shayna]

I used to care, probably thinking if I could figure it out I could change it. Now I just accept it.

[Kimberly Adams]

I have absolutely no idea why I do this and I guess it's good to know I'm not alone. My first memory of dressing like a girl was when I was 6 or 7 and after that it's been pretty sporadic with lots of binge dressing and purging from guilt and shame. I don't get to dress as often as I would like but over the last few years I have come to accept this part of me and embrace it. I went quite a while without even thinking about it and the last few months it's all come rushing back with a vengeance. I really don't care about the why anymore I just want to drink it in and enjoy it.

[rocval2001]

You girls are the best - Thank you for all your responses. I knew I wasn't alone in this. I just been thinking about this which I do from time to time. I like to try to understand as much I can - this subject has me stumped. If I ever find anything I'll be sure to share.

Loves & Hugs
Valerie

[Krisi]

Krisi,
It has clearly been shown now that we are all one gender at conception the male develops from the female and that's why some of us have different wiring , our gender and sex can be defined in so many different ways. I've always know I was born like it. I'm sorry to bring this point up again but it's not a hobby to me I have an inner need that has to be satisfied, no external agencies caused that, my bi-gender orientation was through a combination of events at the age of 8-9 that tied all the lose ends together, I've lived with the feelings ever since, no ebb and flow. I genuinely can't take it or leave it thinking someday it will pass , I'm a lifer and have to live with it 24/7.

OK, it's not a "hobby" to you. That's fine. I am a "crossdresser", nothing more so it's pretty much a hobby to me. I'm not trying to offend anyone but this is the MTF crossdresser section and I am speaking to those who like me, are simply MTF crossdressers. Males who dress as females once in a while in a while for pleasure. Men who posted their question in the MTF crossdressers section of the forum seeking answers or advice that apply to them..

Perhaps we should each attach a label to our avatars so we each know where the other is coming from.