Psychotherapy-stuff is gonna get real

[Dana44]

Whoa get off the addictive stuff. I am gender fluid and have dysphoria sometimes hard. I am not addictive to anything at all. I tried smoking once and every pack I bought, I would be able to smoke once. Then I would find the box later and they were all stale. So I have no vices and so addiction has nothing at all to do with it. I m sure there is many here like that.

[JeanTG]

Whoa get off the addictive stuff. I am gender fluid and have dysphoria sometimes hard. I am not addictive to anything at all.

One thing I've learned on this journey is that everyone is different, and TV/TS/TG has a wide range of triggers and motivators. Gender dysphoria is one thing, obsession is another, and addiction yet another. Get a hit of (alcohol, drugs, endorphins from extreme exercise, masturbating or whatever) = feel good is pretty close to what addiction is in my books. There is no doubt that dressing makes me feel good. Put on panties + bra + pantyhose + dress + shoes etc. = feel good. Not so much in a sexual way though that was the case in my 20s, but mostly in a relaxing way, much as some describe having some good weed (I don't use drugs nor do I smoke and I drink moderately). I feel calm, relaxed, less anxious and my mood improves 110%. Conversely when I'm in a situation when I cannot dress (as I have been for the last several weeks), I feel down, grumpy, irritable, anxious, restless.

Who wouldn't want to seek out something that makes you feel better, on a regular basis?

There is no question that addiction may play a role for some of us. I think that mental health professionals therefore need to have an open mind about this, because how the problem is "treated" (i.e. how to make the patient find a way of living with their situation and their loved ones) will depend on it. If it isn't addiction in your case, that's OK, deal with it accordingly. If it is in someone else's case, that's OK too and let them deal with it accordingly. Let's be open-minded about this and not project our own experience to mean that this is what others should be feeling. Vive la différence!

The good news is that this "addiction", such as it may be for some of us, doesn't interfere with our alertness or ability to function at a high level. You can land a 747 while underdressed in an underwire bra, panties, cami, garter, stockings and painted toenails or even in a full female pilot uniform, but don't try that while high on weed or drunk.

My therapist also didn't "tell me what I wanted to hear". What I wanted to hear was that I needed to start HRT, be castrated and begin transition. But she identified that I was most emphatically not a transsexual. I was referred to her by a general psychologist who was smart enough that she didn't have enough experience in this field. Once she established who/what I was, she went on to help me find ways to live with the issue, and re-establish some measure of at least part-time virility so my marriage could function.

[Tommie.]

This has been an interesting and somewhat negative thread.... questioning people trying to help and making suppositions of addictions with so little facts... everyone is different.... everyone should be free to evolve... with support and not doubting negativity.

The best of luck Jacqueline and focus on the positive!

[Jacqueline1965]

I did ask that question and she said that she has experience and is comfortable with the subject. I was also told today by my psychiatrist that she is one of the best in the department.

Glad to hear that your 1st session went well. A question you may ask her is her experience with gender issues. I didn't get meaningful therapy until I found therapists trained and experienced in gender. Sadly I didn't know what I was missing until I found it. Much money spent educating my therapists, urgh! I think if I had asked earlier practitioners "How do you feel about me coming here dressed?" I might have gotten the vibe they really weren't comfortable with gender. I sadly due to insurance changes, I may have to go elsewhere next year and I have eliminated several "gender therapists" by asking "Can I come dressed and have you had other clients do so?" I think someone with experience will have had that occur already.
Hope you found a great one first!! Now be open and honest and you should make great strides understanding your needs and how to meet them within your current existence. That is what I have been getting finally.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Agreed. I am on an exploratory mission to discover myself and what makes me tick. I am not addicted to crossdressing. I have been underdressing for over 25 years so these are my normal clothes. I think some of the thoughts are a little obsessive but that's why I am in therapy. Not even sure what I hope to specifically accomplish other to understand and cope.

I spent several sessions with a psychologist to help me deal with the onset of a bout of depression that in part was caused by a massive layoff program at work and I was one of the managers who had to make decisions about who stayed on the payroll.

I came right out and told her that I was a transvestite. What I experienced was someone who encouraged me to talk about myself and to explore relevant events in my past and through that enable me to understand myself and begin to try to answer some of my own questions. She made me feel comfortable and she was not at all judgmental but she certainly did not tell me "what I wanted to hear". What I learned from that experience was that I had no idea of "what I wanted to hear" anyway.

It was very beneficial and helpful and I wish it could have gone on for a longer time as with each session I found myself delving deeper and deeper into who I really am and how I should interact with family and friends.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Thanks JeanTV. I do not have an addictive personality. I drink very little, don't smoke, don't do drugs and don't really do anything to excess. I have been crossdressing since I was 4 years old so it has been with me for 47 years.

One thing I've learned on this journey is that everyone is different, and TV/TS/TG has a wide range of triggers and motivators. Gender dysphoria is one thing, obsession is another, and addiction yet another. Get a hit of (alcohol, drugs, endorphins from extreme exercise, masturbating or whatever) = feel good is pretty close to what addiction is in my books. There is no doubt that dressing makes me feel good. Put on panties + bra + pantyhose + dress + shoes etc. = feel good. Not so much in a sexual way though that was the case in my 20s, but mostly in a relaxing way, much as some describe having some good weed (I don't use drugs nor do I smoke and I drink moderately). I feel calm, relaxed, less anxious and my mood improves 110%. Conversely when I'm in a situation when I cannot dress (as I have been for the last several weeks), I feel down, grumpy, irritable, anxious, restless.

Who wouldn't want to seek out something that makes you feel better, on a regular basis?

There is no question that addiction may play a role for some of us. I think that mental health professionals therefore need to have an open mind about this, because how the problem is "treated" (i.e. how to make the patient find a way of living with their situation and their loved ones) will depend on it. If it isn't addiction in your case, that's OK, deal with it accordingly. If it is in someone else's case, that's OK too and let them deal with it accordingly. Let's be open-minded about this and not project our own experience to mean that this is what others should be feeling. Vive la différence!

The good news is that this "addiction", such as it may be for some of us, doesn't interfere with our alertness or ability to function at a high level. You can land a 747 while underdressed in an underwire bra, panties, cami, garter, stockings and painted toenails or even in a full female pilot uniform, but don't try that while high on weed or drunk.

My therapist also didn't "tell me what I wanted to hear". What I wanted to hear was that I needed to start HRT, be castrated and begin transition. But she identified that I was most emphatically not a transsexual. I was referred to her by a general psychologist who was smart enough that she didn't have enough experience in this field. Once she established who/what I was, she went on to help me find ways to live with the issue, and re-establish some measure of at least part-time virility so my marriage could function.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Thanks Tommie,
I dont take any of this as negative. It's a complex issue that's different for all of us. We all have different experiences, different triggers and there will be a multitude paths we will take on our journey through life. None right and none wrong. Just what's right for each us. I sincerely appreciate everyone that has taken the time to write a thoughtful response. It really means a lot to me. Thank You all.

This has been an interesting and somewhat negative thread.... questioning people trying to help and making suppositions of addictions with so little facts... everyone is different.... everyone should be free to evolve... with support and not doubting negativity.

The best of luck Jacqueline and focus on the positive!