First off, id like to apologize in advance if this upsets anyone. I'm not trying to make an issue or anything, just curious about an observation and hope i can give some clarity to the situation.
I love being a crossdresser, and i love you guys, be it crossdressers or transgenders or Steve. I might not go to marches or be openly vocal about it but I like to think that I'm extremely supportive of the LGBT community. Marry who you wanna marry, wear what you wanna wear, go be happy, go do you. At what point do you consider crossdressing to be just that?
In my mind, the term crossdresser simply refers to the act of one person of a particular sex wearing the clothes of the other gender. But in many threads you hear stories about how, especially since this is a male to female crossdressing forum group, that wives/girlfriends/family members don't or can't accept that simple act due to religion/upbringing/personal views or fears on the subject. Which begs the question, are transgender people or those who wanting to and havent, who live under the guise of a crossdresser, doing emotional damage towards those who wont/cant ever transition or be anything than the man who they are in life.
If you're transgender, from what I've gathered from personal stories and the like, many believe that they are just born in the wrong body. And many alter their life/body to reflect this. So in this, wearing women's clothes isn't strictly crossdressing as you consider yourself a woman, you would just like to live the life you want without issues, thereby if you are a woman, wearing women's clothing isn't taboo or weird, its expected.
But what about those of us who don't ever want to transition? Who like that you can wear the pretty things, do the forms/wigs/makeup, feel pretty, do you, and in the end, take it all back off and go back to being a man? Who have zero interest in transitioning or having it reflect a large part of their life? Who have to live in a world, under an umbrella where women we're interested in start doubting themselves or their own sexuality because i like wearing panties? That because they hear stories about crossdressers who are secretly transgender people or they are worried, despite constant reassurance, that we don't want that. Some of us get lucky and we get ladies in our lives who will just accept it whole heartly. They know that its just some clothes and the guys they are with are just that, men who wear panties, etc.
I've been single for almost five years now, just hit 30 not too long ago, been a member here for a few years and I simply can't bring myself to want to try and date. Because I can't see myself finding someone who would want to willingly date a crossdresser, even one who really only does it to unstress/fetishism, because im afraid that the sheer amount of issues that would arise from it isn't worth the idea that i can be happy with another person. That just because occasionally I wear panties and a nightie to bed, that she might start to doubt herself as a woman because i have some weirdness that i can't do anything about.
And I can't help but feel that a lot of her uneasiness would stem from the notion that she would think that because im a crossdresser, which happens to be an umbrella term that we simply refuse to actually define, she would/could believe that I can fall into any of the categories below and no amount of reassurance can lead her to the right conclusion. At what point do we accept that by trying to please everyone, we could be doing more potential damage and hurting loved ones who come here looking for advice and get more scared than they were before they got here.