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Thread: Being dressed in front of SO

  1. #1
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    Being dressed in front of SO

    My GF is totally ok with my dressing. She has given me so many of her old panties to wear that I have donated bags full to Goodwill. We always talk when I get some new cute or sexy thing. We text each other as girls all the time for fun. She knows how happy it makes me to have my girl times.

    Here's the thing- I feel very uncomfortable being dressed in front of her. When she's not there I imagine how great it is going to be, but when the time comes i don't want to anymore. I've done it a few times but it's always been awkward for me. Same for shopping together. When I shop alone it's a total turn on. When we do it together, she's into it but I get super shy about it.

    It might be a body image thing or something else, but I keep thinking it would add a whole other dimension to dress together.

    Does anyone else have similar feelings?

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    I have the same feelings of awkwardness when dressed with her, not so much with shopping. She is really cool about it and has fun with it but it feels wrong to me for some reason. I ly thing I can think of for a reason is all the other times I have been rejected or made to feel like a freak from other girls.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I dress every day in front of wy wife. Who in awesome with it and we shop together for Angie. Just chill and go for it and enjoy youe Katie time with your lady.
    Angie

  4. #4
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    Thank you wbdavid and Angie for your replies. It always feels good to be connected with others. The greatest gift of my GF's acceptance is helping me put my dressing in context. I may not feel comfortable dressing in front of her but she's helped me understand is that it's not as earth shattering and I built it up to be over the years.
    Last edited by Katie01; 09-04-2016 at 11:53 AM.

  5. #5
    Member Detroit Molly's Avatar
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    It took about a year for my wife to get really comfortable seeing Molly around, but now it's no big deal. I've never had any anxiety about dressing in front of her, but I have been cautious about doing so out of respect for her feelings. Anymore though, I get dolled up to go out while she's sitting in my office playing Civ V or Tropico and I kiss her goodbye before I go out. I play in my band dressed up and my kids have seen me leave the house as Molly to play. Just last month my wife went out with me all dressed up for the first time and it was really, really fun.

    An SO's acceptance is a gift beyond measure, and those of us who have them are luckier than we know.

  6. #6
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    Perhaps the more you dress with her the less embarrassed you will feel. It could be that you just feel shy. It seems you have a wonderful GF who loves this part of you so just go along with it. If it persists try finding a good therapist to talk it through.

  7. #7
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    It may be a good idea to chat with your gf to see how she feels with you being dressed in front of her. I know the first few times I was dressed in front of my SO was nerve wracking and I felt similar to how you described. I know my SO accepts my dressing, encourages it even, but even after a year it still makes us uncomfortable for the first couple minutes together on occasion, if that makes sense. My advise would be, if she enjoys it and is something you want to do, just do it, even if it's uncomfortable at first, but have fun. Personally, I always put my SO's feelings first; if she's not okay with Alice "coming over to visit" as we call it, then Alice doesn't come over to visit.

  8. #8
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    I have never been dressed with my wife. She knows I do it, is supportive, but doesn't want to meet Lisa. I wish she would, but I'm not going to force the issue. Sigh...
    Please call me Lisa!

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I think in this instance it's important for you to reflect on exactly WHY you feel uncomfortable. If you're afraid that she's going to react negatively to you being dressed then you need to talk to her about it as only she can reassure you that she's ok with it.
    If you're just self conscious about how you look dressed, perhaps your girl can help you with that too. Maybe she can help you with your makeup and outfits to find what's looks best and most flattering on you.

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I am not uncomfortable being dressed around my wife but I am not comfortable getting dressed in front of her. Specifically, putting on my boobs, butt or wig. Once these are on and I am "Krisi", it's not a problem to change blouses or skirts in front of her.

    It's pretty much the same getting undressed. Taking off the clothes is OK but not the wig, boobs or butt. I suppose I'm comfortable being Krisi or Homer, but not some creature in-between.

  11. #11
    Member leannejacobs's Avatar
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    I dress in privacy, like Krisi I prefer do keep that part to myself, I do feel awkward with my wife for a while, when I'm on my own I'm constantly fussing over my hair, posing in the mirror, walking around etc. But when I'm with her I have to stay composed, don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it thoroughly, I just need to relax a little more.

  12. #12
    Member Petra1's Avatar
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    My wife has said repeatedly that it's okay to dress in front of her but I still feel the need to hide it. I used to naturally wake up early in Saturday's. When she awoke, she would come downstairs to find me dressed, at least partially. Now when I hear her get up, I run to Petra's closet and change back to male mode. Don't know why. As much as I want dress in front of her, I, too, find it awkward.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I started out like Petra. Even though the wife was open, I was hesitant. What really helped me was her being constantly supportive and encouraging. I was trying to be dressed in front of her as little as possible but she kept prodding me "Don't you want to dress?" Or even flat out telling me "You should go get dressed. I know you want to". I'm now pretty comfortable being dressed in front of her except when she's having a rough day. She still doesn't care, but to me it feels selfish to put all the time and effort into myself when I know she's worn out, mad, frustrated, sad, etc.

  14. #14
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    I cannot be mid-dressed around the wife.
    Once I got my boobs in and wig on then we're good to go; it's like, "all or nothing".
    There's times she's done my makeup pre-wig, but that's different because she's participating in getting me ready.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  15. #15
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    Micki has the right angle just because you can there are times when you shouldn't for your wife's sake.
    To the ones that feel awkward maybe ask your wife to help you get over that.

  16. #16
    Junior Member Gen D's Avatar
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    I'm not get dress with my wife - she is ok with me getting dress, just not with her.
    but, regardless to my condition, Your GF sounds very cool, and as I learned before - Once you speak with your SO on yours needs, fears and the rest of your feeling - it is become more comfortable.

  17. #17
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    ...but I am not comfortable getting dressed in front of her. Specifically, putting on my boobs, butt or wig. Once these are on and I am "Krisi", it's not a problem to change blouses or skirts in front of her.
    I think that probably holds true for many of us.


    Only time I was *sort of* comfortable as an "in-between creature" in front of someone was when I was getting ready at a drag queen's home. Reason being, they know exactly what it's like!

    But even then, I was kinda like, eek!

  18. #18
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    I have that problem too. My SO is OK with my dressing. It is just that I feel so weird or odd dressed up with her around. I have not been able to get over it yet.

  19. #19
    Banned Spammer
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    Think about it like it was your first time out in public.
    If you are a closet girl then never mind.

  20. #20
    Close to Retirment Nancie64's Avatar
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    Maybe it's because as a male we don't have quite the same body as our female partners and that mind set may have something to do with it. I like skirts and dresses in single colors not multi. My SO just the opposite. Ask her to help you shop for clothes that she might like on you. It's hard. I almost feel more comfortable dressed as Nancie in front of my sister in law since she is more my size. She is the only other one that knows Nancie is around. Ask her for help to pick outfits that she will like. Can't hurt, she must be pretty cool if she accepts that you dress. Good luck.

  21. #21
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Being in a DADT relationship with my wife who wants no part of "Leslie", dressing in front of her is not an option, so I really have a hard time relating to those here with supportive wives who would have no problem with them doing so, but are only constrained by their own shyness or feelings of awkwardness or inadequacy in going ahead with this.

    To them I would pose the following question:

    "At some point in your life, you would have had to have appeared stark naked in front of your wife or SO with all your insecurities about your appearance and body image in full view, and for her to be able to judge you objectively on the spot on how you looked to her. And yet, you must eventually have gotten over it. How is this different?"

  22. #22
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    Thanks everyone! This forum is awesome!

  23. #23
    Member DaniT's Avatar
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    I am much the same way.

    I only dressed up all the way for her for the first time last night. I was pretty awkward but she made me feel at ease after a little bit.

    I hope it gets easier because I really enjoy sharing this part of my life.

    Dani

  24. #24
    Member Lena's Avatar
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    When I'm with my wife, I've begun to dress in front of her. I don't get really girly though, so it's not that much of a change. Most of the time, it's only a bland polo dress that I'm wearing. I usually wear polo shirts anyway, so from the waist up, it's very similar except I get dots instead of stripes. If I wear a strapped dress, a nightie or a cami, I'll wear a tee over the top of it.
    I also wear modest skirts with a tee shirt or polo. Again, it's not much change from male mode but it is enough of a difference to put a smile on my face.

    Since I've come out to my wife, she wears dresses more often. Before, she would only wear dresses on special occasions.

    I've not gotten enough courage to come out fully dressed with hells and wig yet but I'm working up to it. Last week, I had panties on while we were sitting on the couch together.

  25. #25
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I wouldn't think one would need to wear heels to be "fully dressed".

    I find that the more I am dressed around my wife the more natural it feels and at the same time, the more used to it she gets. Her reaction is pretty much the same if she comes home and sees Krisi as it is if she comes home and sees Homer. Sometimes she will make a comment about a "cute outfit"

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