In Limbo

[SallyS]

Having had long periods of time in my life I could be en-femme regularly things are not the same anymore

With 2 teenagers floating about the house (one at college, one working part-time) it's impossible for me to have any decent time to be myself. This is somewhat depressing and also frustrating. It's at times like this that, just for an instant, I long for the single life again! But reality hit's me that I am parent, grandparent and partner!

I just think to myself 'it won't be like this forever'.......but at this rate I'll be well into in my 50's (not that at that age I couldn't still slip into a dress!) before that 'freedom' comes back.

So in the past I have been spoiled for such opportunities to dress accordingly.....now I don't.

I'm sure for a lot of people it's the same?

[Lana Mae]

Actually my story is quite different!! When I married I was interested in dressing as a female but had no idea of what it was called or anything about it. My wife was totally opposed to me pursuing this so for 34+ years of being married I wore panties only for about three times and purged each time(had no idea that is what it was called back then)My wife died in 2015 and at the age of 64 I bought my first pair of big girl panties and the pink fog has engulfed me!! So unlike you, I did not start until age 64!!! And yes children, etc do complicate things!!! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Ressie]

I've been in that lovely phase for quite a few years now - living alone. Dressing has always been something that had to be done quickly throughout most of my life. Never was able to build up a wardrobe either. After my wife left I was alone for a short time. That's when I let my nephew move in. That didn't last too long, so I've been living alone for nearly 10 years with a closet bulging with women's clothes.

[DIANEF]

As a parent I can well sympaphise with you regarding the lack of time. I am just into my 50s, I was really hoping my children would be set up in their own places by the time they reached 20, my youngest is now 25 and stiill no sign of him going. (I left home at 17..) I do now get a couple of days a week, but only for 6-7 hours and its frustrating to have to revert to man role after what seems an incredibly short time.. I'm sure things will improve, one day, but the wait is hard. (I do think the world of my kids BTW.)

[phili]

I'm 65 and can tell you there is lots of time left to enjoy- but start talking with the kids about transgender stuff and let little things about you become a bit more feminine- it will go fine if gradual and after a while you'll know when you can just put on your dress for dinner!

[Teresa]

Sally,
It isn't easy I'm totally out to my family and children, but I always say not 100% because the haven't seen me . At least I manged to negotiate a Sunday as my day but they're not very good at sticking to the deal, so if they do see me that's not my fault. I have finally manged to go out to a social group which they all know about, that has helped enormously, they all now appreciate the deep need I have to satisfy my CDing. I can recommend it if you can find a group to join it has totally changed my attitude to my dressing , it's helped to put it in perspective, worrying about passing, the voice those fears have melted away, when I'm out it's Teresa and that's all that matters.

OK I'm now 65 and only just enjoying it, yes it has taken a long time to arrive at this point so I'm certainly not going back into the closet and all the ridiculous things you have to do to try and hide, it's too mentally wearing to go back there.

[docrobbysherry]

I WAS, Sally. Until I was nearly caught a few times. Then, CDing became stressful where it had always been fun before!

So, I told my daughters. Altho the one who lives with me disapproves, my dressing is no longer stressful! I simply tell her when and where I'll be dressing. Then, she can hide in her room, the family room, or simply take off. Not a perfect solution but with NO surprises!

U mite consider telling your kids, too!

[Sherrii]

You could still under dress couldn't you? Or maybe wear women's jeans? Or pantyhose under socks, etc.? Sherrii

[SallyS]

I WAS, Sally. Until I was nearly caught a few times. Then, CDing became stressful where it had always been fun before!

So, I told my daughters. Altho the one who lives with me disapproves, my dressing is no longer stressful! I simply tell her when and where I'll be dressing. Then, she can hide in her room, the family room, or simply take off. Not a perfect solution but with NO surprises!

U mite consider telling your kids, too!

My eldest knows but she has her own place. I have another daughter who is gender fluid and identifies as being male. She/he is going through councilling and I'm sure when the time is right I will explain why I understand what she is going through My teenage son would probably be OK with it but it's not something I feel I need to rush into with him just yet! My youngest is at school so again no rush to tell her yet.

It's actually feeling that I have to 'hide' this from them that I don't like. It's who I am and that won't ever change (nor do I want it to). The panic that goes trough your mind when you hear the front door open.....that's a horrible feeling

Ultimately I don't care what people think about me, I just don't want people judging my kids for who I am.

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You could still under dress couldn't you? Or maybe wear women's jeans? Or pantyhose under socks, etc.? Sherrii

Quite often I can 'feel' feminine without being in female clothing. It's a state of mind for me. Sometimes I wake up masculine other times I'm female. My partner always knows when I'm feeling that way as I tend to be more helpful around the house and affectionate to her

[Krisi]

It's nearly impossible to dress in a home that you share with someone else without them finding out about it. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be this year, but they will find out. Even wearing panties, eventually they will find them.

Have you considered keeping your "stuff" in a storage locker and either changing there or picking it up and going to a motel to change? Going out of town to a motel?

[SallyS]

It's nearly impossible to dress in a home that you share with someone else without them finding out about it. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be this year, but they will find out. Even wearing panties, eventually they will find them.

Have you considered keeping your "stuff" in a storage locker and either changing there or picking it up and going to a motel to change? Going out of town to a motel?

We are quite an open family and I'm sure my other kids will be fine about it. I'm know when I'm long gone they will go through my stuff and find the 100's of photos of me dressed as a women
However I will let the other kids know sooner rather than later.

Actually whats really bugging me is a don't have enough wardrobe space for all my cloths!!!

[Shely]

I also have the same situation with granddaughter living with us . My wife is OK with CDing somewhat but dressing up time is very limited . I'm hoping to keep my secret but the house is kind of small . I'm also short of closet space for my 55 dresses

[Amanda Park]

Sally, just keep thinking "your time will come". Life opening up is just as good in your 50's, 60's and beyond as many of our senior friends will tell you. For years I was in the same boat as you. But my time did arrive and so will yours.

Amanda

[Krisi]

Just a warning: Some folks, when their children move out, allow them to keep a key and drop over anytime. This is a mistake if you're going to be prancing around the house in a tutu. Keep your dressing in mind when setting up visiting arrangements.

[Barbara Black]

I want to form a group, Latter Day Fems, for all of us , particularly over 60, who couldn't come out of hiding until the kids were long gone. My days are still limited due to taking care of the grandchildren during the week(My daughter's wishes).

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sally, I will be 74 in December and I have so much fun dressing,

50 is just a number, Life is not Burger King, You can't always have it your way.

Just wait and look forward to more dressing time......

[Maria 60]

For some reason I thought as the kids got older I would have more time. Instead there part time jobs where good because they were mostly on weekends but once full time work and university came around, they are home more at the same time I'm home. They come and go and hard to control all of it so I just get fed up and give up and hope for the best. Your not alone, trust me