Tried to tell may wife when she caught me.

[Alice 23]

I don't think it can be stated enough: tell her the truth! You may also want to consider which relationship has more importance: your relationship with your wife, or your relationship with CD'ing. My SO hasn't always been so encouraging and accepting, and still has her moments, but my relationship with my SO by far has priority over everything, and I have told her many a time that I would drop everything for her, all she has to do is ask.

Good luck, though.

[Stephanie47]

Chris, on your bio page you indicate your wife has caught you wearing her lingerie on occasion and does not like it. Now, she has caught you wearing a feminine tee shirt and panties. Many times people do not want to accept the reality of the situation because they fear they can not handle it. "You can lead a horse to water, but, you cannot make it drink it."

If you have been together with your wife for 39 years, then you have some history with her. She should realize was your good qualities and traits are and weight them against the revelation that you like to wear women's clothing on occasion. I don't know about revealing your stash to your wife especially if it is anything like mine. I would recommend you sit down with her when you have sufficient time to discuss your cross dressing tendencies. Don't surprise her with explanations on the way to a family gathering, church, etc where she would not have the privacy to reacting. Don't overwhelm her. Don't say things like "It keeps me in touch with your feminine side." Comment such as that tend to inflame the situation.

[misschris]

Wow! I've overwhelmed by all the feedback...thank you girls!

[Kellymay]

Show her your stash it might have something she got rid of years ago.

[char GG]

Women (and I assume men) don't like to be deceived. It is a good time to have a good, long talk. If crossdressing is more important to you than being truthful with your wife, you may want to have a talk with yourself before you talk to her. I hope the outcome is pleasant for both of you.

[Dave nation]

I got caught dressed in a garter belt, stockings and heels by my girlfriend and she dumped me.

[DaniT]

I agree that honesty is probably the best policy here. There isn't going to be any way to make it go away at this point.

Lies, even ones that she tells herself, might be easier in the short term but may lead to anguish and disappointment down the road. Whenever possible take the high road, admit your mistakes, and be yourself. I believe in you, you can get through this

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dani

[Rhonda Darling]

I note that you're in Mississippi. If your wife (and her family and/or her closest friends -- those she confides in) is deep south morally conservative (a la the ultra conservatives who promoted the N.C. bathroom bill), you may be in for a rough ride. There may be a set in stone attitude of "don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up." As others have advised, be cautious and do not overwhelm her in trying to explain yourself, but don't assume it will go away on its own. If she starts speaking with family and friends about what she saw and what you told her, you may find yourself in full damage control. IF you can find a counselor near you who is familiar with (and not condemning of) CD/TG issues, try to get her to go there with you.

Finally, as many here have previously said, don't promise anything that you can't abide by -- like "I'll never do it again."

Good luck.
Rhonda

[Krisi]

I note that you're in Mississippi. If your wife (and her family and/or her closest friends -- those she confides in) is deep south morally conservative (a la the ultra conservatives who promoted the N.C. bathroom bill), you may be in for a rough ride. There may be a set in stone attitude of "don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up." As others have advised, be cautious and do not overwhelm her in trying to explain yourself, but don't assume it will go away on its own. If she starts speaking with family and friends about what she saw and what you told her, you may find yourself in full damage control. IF you can find a counselor near you who is familiar with (and not condemning of) CD/TG issues, try to get her to go there with you.

Finally, as many here have previously said, don't promise anything that you can't abide by -- like "I'll never do it again."

Good luck.
Rhonda

Yep, us Southerners are a bunch of bigoted rednecks for sure!

I don't know why some uninformed people keep assuming this when it is not true. For that matter, there's a lot of mobility in the USA and many people living in the South were born and raised in the North and vice versa. Southerners are individuals just like anyone else. Some of us even dress in women's clothes from time to time.

The fact is, the OP knows her wife and you don't. She is in the best position to judge her wife's possible reaction, you are not.

It amazes me at times how a group of people (crossdresser) seem to want acceptance and respect, but are unable to give it in return.