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Thread: U r not TS nor live as a female but want to go out dressed in Vanilla Land. Why?

  1. #1
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Question U r not TS nor live as a female but want to go out dressed in Vanilla Land. Why?

    I'm continually both impressed and confused by those CD's who go out alone dressed to such ordinary venues as McD's, Dennys, Walmart, super markets, Starbucks, etc. I'd rather get a root canal than do that!

    With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc.

    If u don't NEED to go out dressed to do your shopping, errands, lunch, etc. why do it? I totally get those of u who live and present as female. U r honestly presenting yourself as the person u feel u r.

    But, why do cross dressers who dress in private and only occasionally go thru these needless and stressful hassles out in public?

    If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #2
    Ah-May-Lee
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    CDs are people and just like other humans they have a desire to belong, to do things that everyone else does, they want to do those things dressed the way they want to.
    Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
    I touch no one and no one touches me.-S&G

  3. #3
    Silver Member Sarah Louise's Avatar
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    It's an interesting question. I don't go out, but it's getting to the point where I'm going to. I don't really know why as the thought of actually doing it is quite stressful. Maybe it's just to get out there and say "this is me" and not hide away. But I don't really know why. But hey, I don't know why I dress up as a woman either - but I know I like it!
    A girl can never have too many dresses

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    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Because we want to and we can! I understand your question and you know that it can be turned around, why costumes, masks, hot and sexy? It works for you what you do with all your great creativity, talent and just plane courage. I do the same to fit in, and I do. I rarely get that special thrill of just being out as Allie like I did when I first started. You know our other questions and comments to you when on those rare occasions you share your almost au natural pictures without the mask and party clothing. You really can make that work for you. However, for you, that is not your bag, and I and most of us other regulars here accept that.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member
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    I used to do this 2-3 times a month and have spent up to six days entirely presenting as a woman though I am just CD. I do not quite pass - though some women seemed shocked to learn that I was male - but I got a lot of wonderful feedback on my clothes and posture. This was basically ACTING as a woman and gave the same buzz as being on stage. Only if you go to a tourist spot do you get looks, mainly from people I think were American. Everyone else is neutral or positive so there is net positive feedback that gives lovely endorphins. There is also pleasure in unusual feelings like a billowing skirt or the sound of clicking heels. Thanks for this question because I have not been out in months and I have been reminded of how good it is and will go there again soon.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I'd say I fall into the category you are addressing, and I can give you my answer, but I couldn't possibly speak for all. For me (very new at this whole thing) it's not about thrill-seeking, but about working up the courage to do it more. I'm not 100% confident in myself in girl mode yet, so I will occasionally engage in the quick, furtive trip outside to sort of test the waters. I don't plan to ever present as female 24/7, but I would like to present and be accepted as such more than I am now and these outings are a step toward that.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I will try to answer that question!! We are not brave, but have to build up our confidence little by little!! As things go good our confidence rises! If things go bad, we back up and regroup!! We are trying to find our feminine selves and part of it is getting out there and doing mundane things!! Our feminine selves are the ones hiding in the mirror! We really want to see them!! You know I would love it if I just happened to be dressed and needed to go to the store to just walk out the door and go to the store!! That is what I am going to go for as one of my goals!! No changing clothes to go to the store , just go!! It is still me just different clothes!! Does that help any? I hope so!! Hugs Lana Mae

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    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Because that's who they are and they are expressing themselves?
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  9. #9
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Why?
    Why not?

  10. #10
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    Sherry, I've written many times that it is a validation of sorts. A validation that I am doing nothing wrong and that being a cross dresser is ok. Additionally, it is like a public admission that I am a cross dresser without having to say it. But most importantly, dressing and staying home is just boring. As you note, it take some effort to get ready so why hide at home?

    But with regards to this comment:

    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    ...

    With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc. ...

    If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?
    While I do not want to attract attention, I do not think the the average woman feels any differently. I certainly feel the same in guy mode. Why would I want undue attention. But beyond that, there is no stealth for me. I use my regular voice and I speak to anyone I like. Lastly, while early on there may have been some thrill element, but now, going out is not for a "thrill." It's the reasons I mentioned above.

  11. #11
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    I am one who enjoys going to regular places, especially dressed up to the fullest, heels and all.
    For me, part of it is the adrenaline rush.
    I do long for more outings, especially to more populated places and events.
    Dressed up and staying home is still very fun; but getting out there for others to see is just exciting.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
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    Height: 5' 6".

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    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    For me, the reason for going to such places , is that I want to experience life en femme, as that means more often trips to a movie, a restaurant, a mall or a trip to the supermarket than a trip to a club. And I agree with the others, it's also a badge of validation, to hide in plain sight, to be out and about with regular people, hopefully without incident

  13. #13
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I cannot completely explain why. It is the dare, risk of it, high of being out there as a lady, if only for a few hours. i would not want to be out, for days, though, and clubbing seems like a way too loud, alcohol influenced unsafe environment. as i need to be just me, the old bachelor guy most of the time, fixing my cars, bikes, fishing, physical work.[/I]Not having a girlfriend or wife, I use my artistic creativity, to be the lady part time.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 09-11-2016 at 09:05 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN. See my photos and videos on FLICKR - Alice Longstems.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member
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    For me I like moving around walking when I wear a skirt. To that you can walk around your house sure but it is so boring. Plus if I go out dressed then I get the extra time to be dressed. Meaning if I have errands to do and I have an hour at home. I dress at home for an hour change go out for two hours then I dressed for one hour. Don't change I get three hours. But that's just me.

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    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
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    I used to go out more when i was younger .Now that im older and now that i accept that im normal in both male and female .im not hurting anyone they dont pay my bills and life is too short not to enjoy being me .

  16. #16
    Member BettyMorgan's Avatar
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    It's perfectly fine to not understand why some crossdressers go out.
    I agree with Jenniferathome - if I put on makeup, boobs, and wig, I find it boring to stay home. It's a lot of work. And it is validation that I can enjoy myself around others, whether that is walking the mall or eating at a restaurant. It helps to normalize my crossdressing, one expedition at a time.

    It would be a boring world if we were all the same, don't you think?
    They/Them
    I love dressing as a woman.

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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    what's the thrill in it for u?
    As usual, some just don't understand that not all of us are in it for a thrill. For me, there is no 'thrill'. All I get is the relief from the constant underlying feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes. Many people simply don't understand, perhaps because THEY get a thrill, they just assume everone does.

    It would be nice if I could dress the way I feel best with no repercussions. But our society expects men to look and behave like stereotypical males, or suffer the branding of 'sissy', and essentially relinquish the possibility of mating.

    Life is hard enough. I don't need any more hoops to jump through.

  18. #18
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Sherry for me it's a part of me and I have felt for a long time the need to express myself in public.
    I'm not the kind that parties or goes clubbing so for me I enjoy expressing myself at those vanilla places.
    I at times think it would be nice to present myself en fem more often but for me I don't need that and if I had the chance I think I would dress more in between than en fem all the time.
    My circumstances just don't work for me for that however
    Leigh

  19. #19
    Member Marcelo's Avatar
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    I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. Can't get busted staying at home by yourself!

    Marcelo

    Panties... they're not just for women anymore.

  20. #20
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Often I get ready and then just potter around the house pretty much trying to find things to do. Being confined to within four walls gives me a feeling of being trapped, when there's so much more I could be doing. I've not been out (in daylight) yet but am getting closer to it than Ive ever been. I don't really see it as a thrill, more a sense liberation and freedom.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcelo View Post
    I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. ...


    Huh?!? What else would you be wearing under a skirt? Who exactly is "catching" you and how are they catching you? And you want this, whatever "this" is, to happen?

  22. #22
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Maybe I shouldn't even be answering this post. Maybe I should just keep waiting for the new forum section for folks like me. But your title caught my eye. I am not TS nor do I live as a female, but I go out all of the time. But then I am confused as you address your questions specifically to CDs. So, take this response as you will, as I do not consider myself TS nor do I see myself as a CD either. Somewhere in between, okay?

    Anywho.......

    I do dress to blend. I don't care if I am noticed. I don't sneak around. I speak as I normally would, regardless of how I dress. And I don't really understand what you mean by "the rest of the stealth business in going out dressed." And when I get made? Which is what, every time I go out? Where are all of these raised eyebrows, the stares, the PC SAs, or under breath comments? Wow, I really don't see the world that you do. Am I missing something?

    Oh, and yeah, I suppose maybe I shouldn't have attempted an answer, as I do not get a "thrill" out of going out.

    Hmm..... I guess I didn't actually give an answer. How about..... I go out because this is me.

  23. #23
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    "I've not been out (in daylight) yet but am getting closer to it than Ive ever been."


    What I've found to make that a bit easier is to head out a bit earlier than you normally would in the evening. Maybe by half an hour? That way, it's not too much of a shock for you, and it's only for a little while until it gets darker.

    And once you're feeling more comfortable with that new time, start out another 30 minutes before *that*.


    Of course, you have to adjust for the changing daylight hours due to the seasons. But, the basic concept is there.



    On the flip side: Just how much of a night-owl are you?


    There were a number of times I found myself out all night (usually after clubbing and/or a friend's house) -- and driving home at sunrise.

    Just make sure to freshen up your hair & face first, as not to scare anyone.



    Also, maybe a cloudy day would be easier? That way you don't have all this bright sunshine.


    Sometimes you do have to ease into this kind of stuff.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member AlyssaJ's Avatar
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    Well look, I can only respond for myself but I'm already seeing similar comments in this thread. I'm still very much trying to figure out what label is appropriate for me. But after a lot of research my gender identify falls squarely in the Androgyne realm. I have a very clear perception of myself that includes aspects of both genders and at varying times one more so than the other. Personally, I'd love to be able to wear whatever I choose whenever I choose as part of the expression of who I am. But the fact of the matter is, society isn't ready at all to support that. So my best option (which I still rarely get to do) is to go out fully presentable as one gender or the other.

    In honesty, if I felt I could go out in a skirt, blouse, stockings and heels without having to shave my face and wear a wig, I'd do it. It'd be far more enjoyable to me than the stress of trying to "pass". I'll give you that. But as the world is today, I'm more likely to run into trouble that could endanger my safety and my life, I'm more apt to be harassed and ridiculed by co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances to the point that it would have severe negative impact not only on my life but that of my family as well. So yeah, the path of least resistance to still be able to express myself for who I am is to present as fully one gender or the other.

    So I consider myself a crossdresser. At least in so much as I'm genetically a male and wear clothing of the opposite sex. But when it comes to my gender identity, it's far more fluid. Unfortunately we still live a in society right now that won't except people like me and let us just be who we are. So I have to do the best I can.

  25. #25
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Nadine,

    This is exactly the reason for the new sub-forum.


    While many of us might share some commonalities, we definitely have some differences, too. Not only only within our own selves, but aspects like geography & what-not can play a role, as well. Not every part of the state or country or world is the same when it comes to this kind of stuff, for example.

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