U r not TS nor live as a female but want to go out dressed in Vanilla Land. Why?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm continually both impressed and confused by those CD's who go out alone dressed to such ordinary venues as McD's, Dennys, Walmart, super markets, Starbucks, etc. I'd rather get a root canal than do that!

With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc.

If u don't NEED to go out dressed to do your shopping, errands, lunch, etc. why do it? I totally get those of u who live and present as female. U r honestly presenting yourself as the person u feel u r.

But, why do cross dressers who dress in private and only occasionally go thru these needless and stressful hassles out in public?

If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?

[Amelie]

CDs are people and just like other humans they have a desire to belong, to do things that everyone else does, they want to do those things dressed the way they want to.

[AllieSF]

Because we want to and we can! I understand your question and you know that it can be turned around, why costumes, masks, hot and sexy? It works for you what you do with all your great creativity, talent and just plane courage. I do the same to fit in, and I do. I rarely get that special thrill of just being out as Allie like I did when I first started. You know our other questions and comments to you when on those rare occasions you share your almost au natural pictures without the mask and party clothing. You really can make that work for you. However, for you, that is not your bag, and I and most of us other regulars here accept that.

[DIANEF]

Hi Laura, thanks for the advice, but I think I might just be brave enough to have a full daylight outing. Sounds rather tame for some but for me it will be a big step. Really just waiting for the opportunity now...

[Sarah Louise]

It's an interesting question. I don't go out, but it's getting to the point where I'm going to. I don't really know why as the thought of actually doing it is quite stressful. Maybe it's just to get out there and say "this is me" and not hide away. But I don't really know why. But hey, I don't know why I dress up as a woman either - but I know I like it!

[Micki_Finn]

I'd say I fall into the category you are addressing, and I can give you my answer, but I couldn't possibly speak for all. For me (very new at this whole thing) it's not about thrill-seeking, but about working up the courage to do it more. I'm not 100% confident in myself in girl mode yet, so I will occasionally engage in the quick, furtive trip outside to sort of test the waters. I don't plan to ever present as female 24/7, but I would like to present and be accepted as such more than I am now and these outings are a step toward that.

[susan54]

I used to do this 2-3 times a month and have spent up to six days entirely presenting as a woman though I am just CD. I do not quite pass - though some women seemed shocked to learn that I was male - but I got a lot of wonderful feedback on my clothes and posture. This was basically ACTING as a woman and gave the same buzz as being on stage. Only if you go to a tourist spot do you get looks, mainly from people I think were American. Everyone else is neutral or positive so there is net positive feedback that gives lovely endorphins. There is also pleasure in unusual feelings like a billowing skirt or the sound of clicking heels. Thanks for this question because I have not been out in months and I have been reminded of how good it is and will go there again soon.

[Lana Mae]

I will try to answer that question!! We are not brave, but have to build up our confidence little by little!! As things go good our confidence rises! If things go bad, we back up and regroup!! We are trying to find our feminine selves and part of it is getting out there and doing mundane things!! Our feminine selves are the ones hiding in the mirror! We really want to see them!! You know I would love it if I just happened to be dressed and needed to go to the store to just walk out the door and go to the store!! That is what I am going to go for as one of my goals!! No changing clothes to go to the store , just go!! It is still me just different clothes!! Does that help any? I hope so!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Lorileah]

Because that's who they are and they are expressing themselves?

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u all for your replies. I found them informative and enlightening. I get that a few of u DO get a thrill simply doing daily things dressed.

And, I totally related to Jenn's reason: validation. We r ALL looking for that in one way or another aren't we?

Because that's who they are and they are expressing themselves?

But Lorileah, u nailed it. Rite to the point and in words even I can understand.

The gist of which many others said is; T's wish to present themselves as the women they feel they r. Wherever and whenever possible!

While I do the opposite. I try to present as women I'm definitely not.

[ellbee]

Why?

Why not?

[sara.rafaela]

I am a crossdresser. I just dress for fun. I sort of agree with Sherry. I can get myself to be passable at a distance. It takes a lot of effort, contouring makeup, hip pads, corset, etc. This does not make for a comfortable trip to Starbucks. I do go out often, to vanilla land, but it is to clubs, live music sites, bars, something exciting.

[donnalee]

As someone who dresses pretty much 24/7; I don't look at it as dressing fem; it's dressing as me.
As to a reason for going out, I can no more explain it than I can why I dress in the first place, except that it feels right to me.

[NatalieLM]

Myself I feel somewhat like a female trapped in a male body (still working that one out) but when I am dressed at home I feel really good other than I then feel like a female trapped in my home instead! It is like I can't win!

I've taken some trips out in girl mode to clothing and shoe stores but have felt self-conscious and dreaded it when a SA asks how I am or asks if I need any help! I prefer to go where there is less chance of an interaction until I am more confident re my look and voice.

Recently I have taken on-board "age appropriate" and "blending in" rather than dressing in what I really like (ie pretty dresses) and I've felt a lot more comfortable out and about. I still don't want to interact with anyone yet so Vanilla Land it is. Vanilla Land allows me to baby step my confidence without going completely deep end.

Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting.

[ellbee]

"Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting."


Having someone else there alongside you can definitely help a bunch!


And interacting with a SA or whatever is actually pretty cool. They'll be professional about it, and plus there's the added element to it all, of focusing on a common goal shared by both parties.

It does take some confidence, but really, anyone can get there!

[Jenniferathome]

Sherry, I've written many times that it is a validation of sorts. A validation that I am doing nothing wrong and that being a cross dresser is ok. Additionally, it is like a public admission that I am a cross dresser without having to say it. But most importantly, dressing and staying home is just boring. As you note, it take some effort to get ready so why hide at home?

But with regards to this comment:

...

With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc. ...

If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?

While I do not want to attract attention, I do not think the the average woman feels any differently. I certainly feel the same in guy mode. Why would I want undue attention. But beyond that, there is no stealth for me. I use my regular voice and I speak to anyone I like. Lastly, while early on there may have been some thrill element, but now, going out is not for a "thrill." It's the reasons I mentioned above.

[Alice_2014_B]

I am one who enjoys going to regular places, especially dressed up to the fullest, heels and all.
For me, part of it is the adrenaline rush.
I do long for more outings, especially to more populated places and events.
Dressed up and staying home is still very fun; but getting out there for others to see is just exciting.

[GretchenJ]

For me, the reason for going to such places , is that I want to experience life en femme, as that means more often trips to a movie, a restaurant, a mall or a trip to the supermarket than a trip to a club. And I agree with the others, it's also a badge of validation, to hide in plain sight, to be out and about with regular people, hopefully without incident

[Alice Torn]

I cannot completely explain why. It is the dare, risk of it, high of being out there as a lady, if only for a few hours. i would not want to be out, for days, though, and clubbing seems like a way too loud, alcohol influenced unsafe environment. as i need to be just me, the old bachelor guy most of the time, fixing my cars, bikes, fishing, physical work.[/I]Not having a girlfriend or wife, I use my artistic creativity, to be the lady part time.

[JenniferMBlack]

For me I like moving around walking when I wear a skirt. To that you can walk around your house sure but it is so boring. Plus if I go out dressed then I get the extra time to be dressed. Meaning if I have errands to do and I have an hour at home. I dress at home for an hour change go out for two hours then I dressed for one hour. Don't change I get three hours. But that's just me.

[krissy]

I used to go out more when i was younger .Now that im older and now that i accept that im normal in both male and female .im not hurting anyone they dont pay my bills and life is too short not to enjoy being me .

[BettyMorgan]

It's perfectly fine to not understand why some crossdressers go out.
I agree with Jenniferathome - if I put on makeup, boobs, and wig, I find it boring to stay home. It's a lot of work. And it is validation that I can enjoy myself around others, whether that is walking the mall or eating at a restaurant. It helps to normalize my crossdressing, one expedition at a time.

It would be a boring world if we were all the same, don't you think?

[Marcelo]

I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. Can't get busted staying at home by yourself!

Marcelo

[Jenniferathome]

I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. ...

Huh?!? What else would you be wearing under a skirt? Who exactly is "catching" you and how are they catching you? And you want this, whatever "this" is, to happen?

[sometimes_miss]

what's the thrill in it for u?

As usual, some just don't understand that not all of us are in it for a thrill. For me, there is no 'thrill'. All I get is the relief from the constant underlying feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes. Many people simply don't understand, perhaps because THEY get a thrill, they just assume everone does.

It would be nice if I could dress the way I feel best with no repercussions. But our society expects men to look and behave like stereotypical males, or suffer the branding of 'sissy', and essentially relinquish the possibility of mating.

Life is hard enough. I don't need any more hoops to jump through.