So I went to a kickboxing class that I signed up for and because of an apparent very limited amount of workout apparel I only had my black, flared yoga pants and a t-shirt to wear. Besides the idea of my bare legs on the mat or kicking the vinyl bag had me grossed out, too. I also couldn’t stand the idea of going barefoot on the vinyl mat (plus I’m not ready to display my pink, French tip toes in public) so I bought a pair of yoga socks.
Of course the only ones I could find in a city of 3 million people and in five different stores were black with little pink grippy dots on the bottom. To add to that, I’m pretty short, so t-shirts are naturally kind of long on me but as I began to sweat, and sweat and sweat buckets… my shirt began to hang just a little longer. So it looked like I was wearing a short tunic dress. It probably came down to about two inches above my knee.
I was terrified as I saw myself in the mirrors of the gym. I was so unbelievable self conscious the entire class. I felt like I saw some of the women looking at me and thinking “aww… look how cute he looks.” and that the guys were thinking “what the hell is wrong with this guy???”
I was wearing two pairs of really tight boy-shorts undies to try and keep my junk from being on full display in my yoga pants because frankly I just didn’t want to look like a male ballet dancer wearing a codpiece. But then my dangly bits were so inconspicuous, I looked like a prepubescent girl with a little mound.
It was not fun. It was not fun at all. But no one said anything. No one gave me a side eye or walked with their back pressed against the wall to sidestep me. No one pointed and laughed. But I just felt… I don’t know. I didn’t like it.
How do y’all do it? How do you gender benders and gender tweens do it? Putting myself in this position gives me a new found feeling of respect for the TS gals who are just starting to transition and you tweeners who are just living your lives wearing clothes that feel comfortable for you.
God, how do you do it and keep it together. Much respect to you all…. much respect.