It started with the silky .... where does it end?

[Billy]

Sometimes a young boy puts on an article of women's clothing because they find it soft, silky, smooth, or whatever. For years they are satisfied by wearing their discretely acquired stash of apparel. Some people discover or realize that they were born in the wrong body and take actions to physically change. Some people started by wearing one item of women's clothing and progress by adding more. Some people have no desire to physically change but transform their persona into a female and impersonate a female.

For some people like myself it was only about the clothing. Early on it was soft and silky then erotic. I never wanted to be or impersonate a woman. Recently, I realized that I was not happy with the fit or feel of any of my male clothing not even the undergarments. The only thing I liked were my warm wool socks. I decided to go extreme and wear women's clothing out in public or around the house. The interesting thing is that today there is underwear that is "male" that looks like female panties. There are "male" running tights and/or leggings that are like female. If I crossdress today it is only because the clothing is comfortable and or I like it. I would not wear pantyhose under my clothing in the summer because it would be too hot and not comfortable for me. However it will be below 20* and snowing later today. I might wear pantyhose or tights when I go out to deal with the predicted snow. My wife purchased some "male" underwear that looks, fits, and feels like panties. I now have a full underwear drawer with both female panties and men's bikini underwear. I think it would be hard to tell the difference, as mentioned I wear them for the feel and fit.

A problem I have is that I am wide 42" chest, close to 36" waist but am only 5'7" or maybe even a little under. My pants have never fit good. The "rise" causes my pants to hang someplace between my crotch and knees or need to be close to my breast line. Women's slacks really don't fit any better. In fact I have laid out men's trousers on top or under women's slacks and the rise is the same. The fabric of the ladies slacks may be more comfortable then that of the men's and the ladies clothing can easily be found with a wide elastic waist band eliminating the need for a strangling belt. My wife recently found me a couple of pairs of pants that are very comfortable that are low rise and fit good. I think my body/frame makes it difficult to find comfortable clothing.

For me I think crossdressing ends with wearing female clothing if it fits better than male clothing. A few weeks ago when I decided to take action to find better fitting clothing I explored wearing skirts or whatever in public and didn't care what others thought. I still do not care what others think but I want comfort and functionality. There is no need for me to make a fashion statement or try to change the worlds perception of what male clothing should be.

Where do you expect your crossdressing to end? Is it about clothing or something more?

[Julie MA]

Billy, I find CDing, at times, sensual, sexual, and emotional. I expect the first and third to continue until I die. The second one, who knows. Julie

[Leslie Mary S]

One thought that comes to mind as to why we even start is that besides the feel of the item is that it reminds us of our mother, maybe only in the subconscious.

[GretchenM]

Hi Billy,

As for initiation, I think Leslie may have something. Mother's clothes smell like mother and when you put them on you look vaguely like mother and smell like her. Throw back to babyhood? Hmm, interesting thought. But that can't be the whole story. Why did you try on her clothes in the first place? Maybe because you were born or acquired a vague and immature gender variant thinking and behavior pattern. That is not uncommon in young boys and girls. It usually goes away. For those where it does not go away they become members of the gender variant or gender non-conforming group which includes anything that causes a shift away from an adherence to social standards of what men and women should traditionally and stereotypically do in dressing and behavior. Is it bad? Only if it damages other lives. But that is not an acid test as the person who is so gender non-conforming they transition sometimes damage a lot of lives. But in the case of a transexual, they really don't have a choice - they MUST change or they feel there is no desire to live. The damage is mostly caused by others not accepting who the transexual is and allowing them to be themselves without prejudice or discrimination. That is, the problems transition produces is mainly a matter of others not being able to grasp what it is like to be a non-transitioned transexual. I have known many and they go through hell several times over. But once they transition, they are as pleasant and happy as most everybody else that is gender conforming - maybe more so because of what they have gone through to get there. They often become incredibly accepting and loving people.

Everybody is different with respect to this trait of a desire to express or be, at least in part, a member of the opposite gender (and sex). Some are perfectly happy to remain masculine gender but wear clothes of the opposite gender and sex. For others it is far more complex and sometimes unbelievably complex. I view this as a journey that we all must take because there is something different about us FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF WHAT SOCIETY CONSIDERS NORMAL. Actually we just being ourselves which, unfortunately, is not in the middle of the bell shaped curve. Unless it becomes psychotic and/or antisocial the variation is perfectly normal. In one way, without the variations there wouldn't be a bell shaped curve and everybody would be pretty much the same - very much like bacteria. Boring!! In taking the journey you must keep a level head about its effects on others and meeting other people like yourself, not to the exclusion of the muggles, and interacting can be very helpful in monitoring and adapting to the outside world we must live in. So long as you don't force your gender expression on others in a demanding and dictatorial way, most people are quite accepting in spite of the big eyes and raised eyebrows they may show. I have found that you can do a great deal in your journey if you do not force it on others and are respectful of their feelings. Mutual respect often results, even though they may still think you are a little weird. That weirdness is not really a criticism - it is just an expression of recognizing that you are a non-conformist with regard to social standards for gender expression. Society has a long ways to go, but that is rapidly becoming more acceptable as people move from tolerance to acceptance.

Gretchen

[Jaylyn]

Being born in the 40's ( yes I know I'm old but haven't told my heart or brain yet ) I know mine is probably from my mom. She wanted a girl for her first born so bad that a dress for me was sewn out of flour sacks. She dressed me in it and two others she made. Dad put a stop to it. Till I became a teenager then I started back in moms makeup, putting on moms silky hose and those delicate smooth girdles n slips. Every time mom n dad left to run into town I head to moms dresser. I think she had to have known because there's no way I could have folded every thing back and replaced it just as it was. Lipstick and powder were hard to remove back in the late 50's and 60's. My cd started then, it has stopped off and on but has always returned. I will always be a CD and under dresser. I just hope that my wife finds me dead one day and removes any sign I had this affliction, really don't want my kids to know any thing about all this.

[phili]

Crossdressing is like an itch- comes from all sorts of reasons and there are many ways to address the itch as well that sort of work, or really work. Gretchen's makes point about diversity among us with regard to the way we feel gender, and therefore crossdressing won't 'end' . With your point about the syles and fabrics starting to merge, and focus on what feels good rather than the gender signaling it is used for. So it sounds like crossdressing for you is defined as not yet having menswear that fits and feels good, so you browse the women's dept. Crossdressing may end for you if and when enough desirable menswear is available.

Crossdressing for me is a combo of what feels good- since skirts feel much better [if I am just lounging], and signaling that I have a feminine streak, and that I am willing to be a social nonconformist. Crossdressing for reason number one may end if I wear skirts enough and I no longer have the itch, and the extra comfort isn't worth the social hassles. Crossdressing for reason two may end if I find that I am expressing femininity more deeply and don't need to signal it. Crossdressing for reason three may end because I am on to other things and need to keep my message simple. I have to admit I love it because it is adventurous and sly and fun and ... I don't want it to end!

[Amelie]

The way I dress ends the day I die. It doesn't matter how I dress, I am a woman and can wear any clothes that I feel like for that day.
Billy, if you have problems finding clothes that fit right. Then learn to sew where you can either make your own clothes or tailor old clothes to make them fit better. Necessity is the mother of invention.

[ClosetED]

You need a more complete view of young boys to comprehend the issue. Studies show that most boys do try on some feminine article of clothing and then nothing further ever comes of it. There is something about those who will crossdressers that is different, possibly genetic and certainly other environmental factors. For us, our brains may be releasing endorphins to make us feel good and reinforce this behavior and not average boys. As to what particular thing sets this off, may vary. Some want to look like average women, others like young girls, some wanted to look pregnant, some with very large breasts, some just nightgowns, some lingerie. If the word chosen is "femininity" that we seek, then each may define that differently.
Many started out with fetishistic behaviors but changed to doing it for peace and calm feeling. For many it is not the clothing sensation, but how it makes us feel about ourselves.
Hugs, Ellen

[Billy]

I do not think modifying the rise of store bought pants is an easy task. Sewing clothing is very time consuming and expensive. I am solving this issue and as mentioned have found some clothing that fits good. I was simply explaining why I went to women's clothing for public use and that there are some male alternatives. Thank you for your advice. I am doing some sewing.

[Billie R]

Same here Billy, I like the feel of the material and the variety of styles to choose from. My advice for your size would to shop in the petite section. My wife finds they fit her height better since she is shorter. Give it a try. They don't hang and more confirming to her body. The waist is not up around her chest area as you mentioned. Let me know how it works out for you.

[Teresa]

Billy,
First of all it can start in different ways and surprisingly at different ages. Describing yourself will only fit you, the clothes were different for me from the start and are still different from your needs now. You still have to discover more about your inner needs to decide what the clothes really mean to you.

As for fit of clothes, you may have to do some work on your shape, I'm 5' 7" and have 37" bust/chest 31" waist and 37" hips so I don't have the same problem as you , most size 12 ( UK) clothes fit me off the peg but I know what suits me , I tend not to wear jeans/trousers as I've worn them most of my life and prefer dresses or skirts.

As for where it ends ? Who can really say,? At the moment I feel I want to go fulltime, I feel as comfortable dressed femme as I do in drab and I know which I prefer.

[Swimtran]

For me, it's not about comfort at all, it's about feeling feminine. There's not a person in the world who can convince me that they wear high heels for comfort. They're an essential part of crossdressing for me, because they're feminine.

I still do understand the emotional comfort of wearing women's clothes. It's comforting, in an emotional sense, for me when I wear a dress.

At some point in my life, when I was worried about how crossdressing was affecting my manhood, I would rationalize that I wear panties because they're soft and snug. But as my urges led me to push my boundaries, I discovered that the thrill I got was from the femininity. The turning point for me was, after some time of only wearing bikini bottoms, when I tried on a matching top. In my mind, the top was totally superfluous, and there was no other possible reason to wear it other than to be feminine. I had avoided wearing it out of fear of enjoying it, because enjoyment would mean that I'm some sort of sissy. And when I did it, I was overwhelmed with how feminine it made me feel, and how much I loved it! I could no longer deny that I loved feeling like a girl.

[Tracii G]

For me because I am TG its just clothes and I get no sexual thrill from "my clothes"