^I don't think it's usually based on any of that at all (it might contribute to not liking it, but the base repulsion to MTF crossdressing I think it's rooted deeper than that. That some women are simply so sexually turned off by the idea of a feminized male that they simply cannot even consider the possibility of dating or marrying one of us. I understand this, because I feel the very same way about the idea of sex with a male. It's simply out of the question entirely. While I as a MTF crossdresser might be able to tolerate a woman who sometimes wishes to go the whole nine yards and dress up entirely in male clothes, talk like a male, walk like a male, and try to emulate a male, it would be a tremendous turn off for me, especially if she wanted to have sex dressed that way; I don't think I could 'function'. I'd be willing to try, but I really don't know if I could do it.
So, I understand where they're coming from when they say that they wouldn't ever consider it.
For Jessicaa, next time, test the waters first. First establish what she thinks about all the TG folks. Then, if that's ok, maybe the next step might be to see if NIMBY is in place, like if she ever dated anyone who was maybe bi. Then, if thatls ok, maybe try, "I used to be a crossdresser" as a last chance stopgap statement to see how she feels about THAT. If that passes muster, at a later date you can see if you can get away with telling her that you really, really feel the need to dress up 'a little', and ask if there's any way she would let you do it to allow you to de-stress.
At least, that's how I'd do it if I could do it all over again. But as it turned out, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, as my ex simply wouldn't tolerate it in any case at all.
Just some thoughts.