Not Who She Said She Was

[Teresa]

Sandra,
Thanks for explaining the facts, I'm sure after a while you have a nose for sorting the iffy ones.

Maybe it's not the place to ask but has there been a problem with members and issues with trolls, we know we take a risk with the things we do say and posting pictures. Has a member reported having pictures used elsewhere or had their identity cloned ?

[ReineD]

And there is the problem. It's far too easy for someone to claim they are this or claim they are that and make up a "life". It's easy on the Internet and it's all too common. Only when you meet someone in real life do you have a chance to know what and who they really are. And sometimes even then one can make a mistake.

The member I was referring to in my original post claimed to have transitioned many years ago and was living and working as a woman. I don't know if that turned out to be false or not, all I know is what I posted.

Are the other transsexuals genuine? Are the GGs genuine? Are you genuine (and I don't mean that as an insult, I'm just being honest)? We have no way of knowing.

Nope, I'm a crossdresser in disguise and I've been portraying myself as a GG here just for kicks all this time. LOL - but seriously, I've met several of the moderators here (some have come to my home and I've gone to theirs), also several local members and a few we've met when we've traveled, and I also spent a weekend at one of the ex-admin's house when she was living not too far from me. I am indeed a GG.

As to passing oneself off as a transitioned TS when one isn't, people who have gone through it or people who know dozens of transitioned TSs can tell - for the most part - although admittedly it can take time simply because there's not much we can garner in a post that has a few paragraphs. Still, there's something about fakeness that shines through eventually to those of us who have a good nose for this, although I'm sure some people don't have a nose for this at all, especially if instead of objectivity, they look for posts that confirm what they want to hear.

But as I said earlier, I don't think it matters so much outside the TS section, when the degree of "fakeness" has to do with how often someone goes out, how well they say they look, or how well accepted they say they are in their lives. There are enough other members here who do relate genuine experiences to have a real consensus of opinion in any given thread.

... one thing I didn't mention, it would matter if a non-GG should join FAB, simply because of the confidentiality involved there. The last thing a FAB needs, is to have an intruder there who would break the confidentiality rules and discuss a GG's posts with other members.

There was a banned TS/TG member who came back pretending to be a GG. Although she didn't attempt to join FAB, I was able to tell it was her, just based on her attitudes in her posts. Staff confirmed it was her based on her IP address and she was banned again. It was easy to tell it was her - she was just as unbalanced portraying herself as a GG as she had been before.

Has a member reported having pictures used elsewhere or had their identity cloned ?

Yes, it has happened to a few people here. This is the internet! Anyone can drag any picture on their desktop and even if a website has scripts to prevent this, it is still easy to get around. At one point there was a person out there who had a blog celebrating how pretty were MtFs, who was in the habit of going to CD/TG websites and stealing pics. Still, I don't think there are a lot of people who do that. lol.

[Meghan4now]

One other possibility, I've seen some posts by some members that got either nasty or insulting, for no apparent reason. It seemed like they were trolling or looking to cause a fight or controversy, as a sport. Heck we have enough of that as is without some poser coming in to stir the pot. When I see that, it makes me wonder why they are here, and who they really are.

[ReineD]

Meghan, this is the internet. There will always be trolls. Some of them are better at it than others.

The internet's anonymity gives people the chance to be and to say the things they feel they cannot be or say in real life. At the same time, I'd say that most people who participate here do so because they genuinely want to talk to like-minded people. So you need to learn to ignore people whom you feel are trolling, and just respond to the people whom you feel are not trolling. That said, a lot of people will disagree with what you and others say and if they do, it doesn't mean they are trolling. There are lots of differences of opinion about a lot of things in this community.

[Meghan4now]

Reine,

Exactly. And I'm sure when the Mods definitively find a troll, they'll take care of it. My point, which you helped illuminate, was back to Krisi's OP. Why would some one fake who they are here. One of many possibilities.

And you're right. Don't feed the trolls. It is pointless and encourages them.

[BLUE ORCHID]

First of all Blue Orchid is not the name on my drivers license, Blue is just my favorite color and an Orchid is just my favorite flower.

My Crossdressing is so fantastic that I don't have to make up things about it,
and contrary to what Kris said, "Without pictures it didn't happen" (RE: My new forms) Well if I write it here it DID happen ......

[Gwyneth]

Likewise right now I just a guy in Bartlett. Just looking over the edge of this. I'm at the "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" stage. I know when I shave the beard, apply the makeup; its no going back. Whether I like what I see or I'm horrified, I can't undo that moment.

So yes I'm lurking.

[SherriePall]

I think, for the most part, most of us take some of the wilder stories here with a grain of salt. Stories like, "I went out to get the mail wearing nothing but my panties and bra and my neighbor saw me and he ran into his house and came out wearing his matching set. And then we went to get something to eat at the local diner...."
Alarm bells usually go off and we can either question the poster or ignore it and shake our heads in disbelief that someone thinks he can get that by us.
Oh sure, sometimes we do fall for a story. But in the whole scheme of things, we are not betting the ranch on it.
BTW, My avatar is really me. It is a couple of years old now (I am not that great with these contraptions) and I now have trouble wearing that gown. (It was tight to begin with!)
In short I treasure and cherish those moments I spend here with my kindred spirits. And, if I may, my friends.

[JeanetteX]

I really like your post SherriePall, very well said. And Krisi, I think this is a very interesting topic and thread. BTW my avatar is also really me. For those who don't believe me feel free to come over and check it out LOL. Like everyone else I also have my defects but I am proud to say that honesty here on the forum is a big value for me

[Dana44]

Frankly, I've seen trolls and they get eliminated pretty fast here. Many of us who post tell what we know and do not make up stuff. BY the way my avatar is not me. I would not post a picture of me here or any where on the net. I am not full time or strange in any way. many people here pour their heart out and you know what a troll looks like. as many have been deleted as people identified them. So why not take what people are saying that are long term member here and even new one that are sincere in their posts. And of course we hide ourselves. We are not out to the world but we post the truth here but we also warn that to take what anybody says with a grain of salt. So everybody here including you Krisi has a profile of threads that say who you are. So for example I know you are not a troll.

[OCCarly]

Lorileah.
I was hoping you might shed some light on how the forum decides if members are genuine or not, as Krisi says some members are uncovered and thrown off. I personally can't see the point of not being genuine ,to me you are cheating yourself but that's being naive in thinking some people come here for other reasons. I did suspect recently that someone was having fun at our expense.
I also feel Krisi is mainly talking about the M/F section, some of the threads and comments in loved Ones and the TS section are heart rending , it would be inexcusable to be false when members really do open their souls looking for or giving help .

What Teresa said. The people in the TS section are a highly vulnerable population because, for the most part, we do not have the option of putting away the girl stuff and reacquiring male privilege -- and doing so is extremely traumatic for most of us. Gender transition is a serious medical situation that involves taking medication which makes permanent changes to your body. And because we have a history of being treated as sex objects, a web forum full of transgender women can be a very tempting target for all sorts of bad people. And it is not just stalkers, chasers and perverts that we have to worry about. Even the tire kickers and the wannabes can be a problem if they start giving advice they are not qualified to give, or start asking for detail about medical procedures for voyeuristic purposes, or steal someone's photos in order to pose as someone they are not -- what the MTV set now call "catfishing."

[msginaadoll]

I general, the truth or a good story is all the same for me on the forum. Where it may be different of course is if I was meeting someone. Then I would make sure it was somewhere safe anyways, also and that I could recognize that person.

[Julogden]

Theres always a few who are up to no good and a few who are totally living in a fantasy world, but it seems like most here are on the up and up. Certainly, attitudes and beliefs can change over the years, might account for some of what you're seeing as discrepancies.

I don't like it when people use photos of someone else for their avatar photo, so I've always used photos of myself. I'll guarantee that my photos in my avatar are really me over a spread of about 37 years, for better or worse.

[Krisi]

My avatar is me and my stories are true. Details may have been changed for security reasons. What concerns me and what this thread is about is when people misrepresent who or what they are and then give advice based on that false representation. Not advice on buying breast forms, fashion or where to go out for a good time, advice on relationships, advice on coming out to others, advice on transition, etc. Serious things that can affect someone's life from here on.

I hope that anyone seeking such advice will keep in mind that the person giving the advice may or not be who they say they are and thinks long and hard before acting on such advice.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I understand your point and accept it but at the same time the person looking for help and guidance usually receives many replies , most of us know which ones may apply to us and which ones are a none starter. OK we all still make mistakes but the does state in its title what it's here for.
Some of us have been to counselling , some find it useful and some walk away scratching our heads , we are all adults and have to make our own choices at the end of the day .

[AnnieMac]

Well gee none of us here are who we say we are. We go out as females, yet we are males, at least physically for the most part. No big surprise, nor big consequences, they haven't given us the nuclear codes or anything. Hardly something to worry about.

[DIANEF]

I've not been very well recently so I havn't posted much, but on this subject I can echo very closely Maria60s' post of the 27th. It would worry me greatly if people ever thought I had any intention of being dishonest about myself to other members, and on a number of subjects I simply don't have the knowledge to make an informed comment so I post nothing. As for my avatar, that is 100% me.

[Amelie]

I am not Amelie, my real name is Yvonne.

I lived in the Times Square/Hells Kitchen area of NYC back when NYC was kinda sleezy and also was a frequent visitor to the Meat Packing area. I can tell you this, there are stories that could be told of living in those areas that few on this forum would believe to be true. But giving bad advise is wrong but people shouldn't base their life on advise giving on the internet forums.

[Nicole Erin]

As far as peoples' pics on the web, even those do not show what the person REALLY looks like. Like this -
I used to go to beauty school with this lady who, on facebook, looked like an Asian model. I mean HOT! Super photogenic. To see her in real life - she looked just like her pics except for one thing - she was a drugged-out weirdo. Incoherent and had this facial expression like she took too many pills or something.

We had this one member here years ago -
I do not think she is banned but she was a faker who posted pics of some Filipino looking woman. GG looking of course, beautiful, had some young rich doctor for a husband, basically a fairy-tale existence. Made a mistake in one of her avatar photos, got called out, never came back.
Of course in subtle ways she loved to remind the rest of us that our lives are not perfect. She changed her story drastically enough times to make you wonder...

Another member did something similar (fake photo) and ended up banned but here was the thing - she was never rude or anything. It kind of sucked seeing her go.

The problem with BS'ing about who one is on a Tg forum is this - we all know the biggest worry we have is our passability. We hate being reminded that we don't. That is like the worst thing you can insult a TG with is reminding them if they are not real convincing. So to come in and BS about your own passing is kind of just rude. It would be like eating a steak in front of a starving person.

Last thing about those who get banned... I am no a mod or anything but it seems the vast majority of those who finally get banned are people who want to butt heads with the mods. I know one of my friends here had a bad habit of doing that. She never lied about her life, looks etc but was always arguing back and froth with a certain admin.

Of course when people post fake pics, it is going to be of someone highly attractive. Can you imagine if someone tried to pass off photos of Honey Booboo's mom as their own? I mean she is the textbook definition of ghastly.

[Becky Blue]

Bear in mind also that possibly some irrelevant details maybe altered to protect ones anonymity. So for example a person may have 3 children... maybe back in the day they said they had 2 children as it can help protect and in reality doesn't matter. Then perhaps years later they talk about their kids and say they have 3.

Obviously the information would need to be irrelevant to anything they posted here or anywhere else but could help people who have to be anonymous be less recognisable.

Forums are basically open to anyone with an email address.

[grace7777]

For me this forum has been a great place. I have had the privilege of meeting a few members in person. One member who I hope to but have not yet met in person, is a LinkedIn Connection. In the future I hope to be able to meet other members in person.

Btw, my avatar is an actual picture of me taken in the summer of 2015. My profile picture was taken in June of 2014.

[Jennifer W]

I am as truthful as possible here. By that I mean some things may be "off" a bit to protect myself and family. I have also gone to therapy and my therapist has helped me piece together my past issues. So maybe things I posted before don't match what I said in the past. At the time, it was as truthful as I remembered it to be.
As for lurking, I do sometimes because I don't always have something to add to what has already been discussed and I want to read and catch up on conversations sometimes before I add anything. I see no sense in signing in if I'm here only to catch up and not add anything.
If I feel i have nothing significant to add then i don't bother signing in. Sometimes I do sign in to read other parts of the site you have to be a member to read like the clothes and beauty sections.

[Stephanie47]

There are times when I read posts by some of the long time members and I say to myself "What she just posted doesn't match up to things she posted about herself in the past." Sure, some things change over time like where we live, our marital status, how much time we spend dressed, but some things cannot change. I'm wondering if that Internet freedom is creeping in or if perhaps there is some pretending going on and they have forgotten their history on this forum.

My long gone grandmother was a very wise woman. One of the things she told me has always stayed in my mind, and, I have passed it on to my kids. She said if you tell a lie you always have to remember the lie. The truth never changes.

[CD Tammy]

I dress. I love to dress. However, I have not worked out for myself what categories that I fit into. Three are times that I would identify myself as a crossdresser. But there are other times, that I would say that I am just a man that likes to wear women's clothing. The difference? I don't wear wigs, make up and the like. Does that mean that I don't take those steps because I do not completely want to be a CD? No, it's because I haven't really had the opportunity to go to that step. I see gurls pictures here and I'm jealous of how passable they are. I wish that I was.

It isn't all about just having an orgasm, either. There are times that I will just dress and do housework or go for a drive. I love how sexy my legs look in pantyhose or tights. Obviously, as most others I am not here under my "real" name.

[marsha leanne]

I dress. I love to dress. However, I have not worked out for myself what categories that I fit into. Three are times that I would identify myself as a crossdresser. But there are other times, that I would say that I am just a man that likes to wear women's clothing. The difference? I don't wear wigs, make up and the like. Does that mean that I don't take those steps because I do not completely want to be a CD? No, it's because I haven't really had the opportunity to go to that step. I see gurls pictures here and I'm jealous of how passable they are. I wish that I was.

speaking of trolls. I guess i have to plead guilty. yes i am a member, but i visit daily, read through postings, look for favorite members, and search out topics i need help with. AND, very seldom log on. I have fallen for stories and advice from someone who was banned, but once set straight, was grateful to those friends i have here and the ever vigilent moderators who keep this from becoming a free form cess pool.

Yes there are places out there that you should be very leary of, but not this one. this is one of the few places i trust on the web, and i thank the people here for keeping it that way.

I have stepped out, but not in a long time, but that does not mean i won't ever again. and, here i can assage my fears, learn my own fears, and try to understand what this is all about and how to live with it. And learn to love this wrinkle i have been given! I do love the process, the illusion, the comfort and the freedom of dressing. So i may be gullible, easily led, but i find more honesty here than anywhere else!