I am still pretty closeted and trying to get over it. Many nights I have this almost uncontrollable urge to go out dressed. I have many times walked around the neighborhood and although exciting at the time it is a letdown when I return. Does anyone have an idea how I could "kick it up a notch"?
Karen Sue
No LGBT / drag clubs in the "SF South Bay, CA" area?
How about a shopping centre (Mall)? My first time out in the daylight proper was in my local town of Croydon ( nice place ;-)...not). I had to pick up some repaired glasses, so thought it was an ideal opportunity to go femme.
You'll be surprised by the lack of attention. Shoulders back, stomach in, deep breath and just go. I was floating on air after 30 seconds, so went clothes and jewellery shopping. Go get 'em tigeress!
Becky
Go to a coffee shop or a small diner
Hell-o Karen,
A late night walk is a good start, I did that like FOREVER!
It got really boring and I needed more.
After joining here, I found friends that would help.
That help was just stepping out to a mall. No worries about
actually shoping, just a walk amongst the muggles.
If not me, find another friend to take a "day walk" with!
SanJose is really not a bad place to be out and about.
Check this out...http://www.carlas.com/
I'm sure you'll find what you need, just ask if you need more help!
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
hi karen,
this is a comfortable venue to try, http://www.pflagsf.org/
and i noticed this Castro Street Fair: Oct. 2, sounds like a plan....
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!crossdressing...theirs an app for that
It may always be a letdown when you return.
I don't think it's a good idea to be walking around the neighborhood at night dressed as a woman and especially your own neighborhood. Bad things happen to women walking alone at night and it also looks suspicious because women don't normally do that.
This may not sound exciting to you, but I go to a shopping mall and walk around window shopping. I'll sometimes sit on a bench and watch people walking by. I go to the tourist part of town and act like a tourist from out of town. I sometimes go to the business district and walk along as if I am on a mission. And, I go to a city park and walk or sit and read.
So basically, I'm doing things women do and I'm dressed like a woman would dress for those activities.
Not as exciting perhaps as going to bars and nightclubs but I'm a bit old for that and women don't usually go to those places alone anyway.
Karen,
I found going for a drive was more fulfilling , I drove to my next town a few times , each time intending to get out and walk but chickened out even so it felt good to be seen by others but at the same time they couldn't interact in a bad way. These were all stepping stones now I just get in my car dressed and drive off to my social group, it's far more satisfying than sitting at home wondering WHAT IF !! I'm sure there are groups in your area, if you're not too sure about your appearance go in drab, most social groups are OK with that, you won't regret it, you'll make new friends and it will give you a fresh new meaning to your CDing.
Karen, I think you need to think about your nighttime strolls in a different light. How many women have you ever seen out walking at night, alone? You actually draw more attention to yourself. As a daywalker, you actually fit in better.
Do you really care what the normals, WHO YOU DO NOT KNOW, think about you?
Jen,
Next time when you come back to the bay, we must do a daystroll. will need to set a date, and i will be good to go!
christy
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Kristyn,
I'm wanting to do that mall trip with youLets see when you can have time on your schedule, but not to worry, you will be worth the wait
christy
stay pretty, christy
My first "kick it up a notch" was going out dressed on Halloween. My second was joining a reasonably local and private once a month CD support/social group.
There is Carla's Boutique in San Jose. Not only are there on-site activities, there are planned excursions. http://www.carlas.com/
The Diablo Valley Girls group has regular meetings. They are based in the Walnut Creek area which may be a bit of a drive depending on where you are in the South Bay area. http://www.diablovalleygirls.org/
The River City Gems in Sacramento may also be worth checking out. A handful of bay area people attend some of the larger events. Their largest event is coming up on October 8 and group from Carla's usually go together. http://rivercitygems.org/
These are all safe and secure venues which are perfect for those new to going out. They are better than going out alone to unknown places.
I went for a daytime drive just a little loop with an unscheduled drive through a park. No direct contact just visual. Nothing happened just a fun drive! Like the others suggestions but nothing here in NC that I know about! Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
Karen,
This resonates with me. I went from barely being out in public, night time walks in public places, to I suppose you could call it full on and all I needed was the right incentive. I've discussed that before but as to what I did it was;
1. Summon up the courage and hit the shops. Terrified for the first few moment, anxious for the following few minutes, loving it from then on in (but still a bit nervous).
2. Go to the cinema. Buying a ticket is nerve racking but own it and next thing you're sat in the dark and no-one knows you're there.
2. Go to a restaurant. I went Chinese. The person who greeted me was a little taken aback when I asked for a table for one, their first reaction was to ask when I walked in, "Do you want a talk away?", but the waiting staff treated me like any other (potentially tipping) customer and I got a did get few pleasant, non judgemental smiles from some of the other customers.
The trick is, and this has been said here so often, own it! Don't act like you shouldn't be there. On the contrary, know in your heart and sole that you're doing nothing wrong, you've every right to be there, your money is as good as anyone else's. You're just another customer doing what every other customer does.
Kicking up a notch involves a step change. The only intermediate things I can recommend are paying for fuel either at a pay at the pump, if you're up for it at the kiosk petrol station, or a drive through fast food. The fact is at some point the envelope needs pushing
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Casa Valentina, a new play about a Catskill resort for crossdressing men on the east coast in the 590s- is opening next week in SF.
http://www.nctcsf.org/shows/2016-17-...c051-235926717
I'm going to go, and looking for people to go with.
I second the motion to go shopping downtown, or in any mall, as has been said- it is really satisfying and enjoyable to interact with others instead of being by ourselves all the time. I especially like to go to museums- somehow it just fits the mood, and museum goers like to chat-
We are all beautiful...!
I have a 19 day window of opportunity due to some travel by my spouse. Thus far I have grocery shopped, shopped for clothes at four different stores, gone to a movie, and just returned from dinner at a very friendly restaurant. Only the restaurant was in a gay-friendly area. The other places were just normal places that I might go to when not dressed. I have even allowed my hair to grow a bit to the point that I can, more or less, feel OK without the wig. That is a good thing as it is still summer where I live.
Seeing that you are from the SF Peninsula, I am guessing that you could, probably, venture out anywhere and not be bothered. San Franciscans have seen it all, I would guess. It, simply, takes a come what may attitude. As I typed that I felt that I should add that the Aattitude" is not that easy to develop. I wish you the best and hope that you can get out.
The short answer is to take the Nike slogan to heart and "Just do it!"
There is no "right" way or time to take that initial plunge, and each one of us is different. Think of it as similar to losing your virginity "back in the day". Sooner or later it will happen, and all the prior planning and agonizing over it will either have been forgotten or come to naught when the stars unexpectedly align to signify that NOW is the time. Nothing will hold you back any further when that happens...
I would reconsider late night strolls, especially alone.
I started out by driving, full girl-mode, to the post office at night.
Then I went to department stores.
Next thing I knew I did stand-up comedy fully en femme, my regular voice and all.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
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