I will tell you the sweet part first. My wife came home yesterday and bought me a dress on the clearence rack that is beautiful. I tell her that I've known her for thirty plus years and most of the times it's "nothing for nothing" and asked her what it's going to cost me. She asked me if I could drive her to her training class because she doesn't like driving on the highway and the it's going to be dark when it's over. She said that I could dress and drop her off and I could have a few hours to myself and do whatever I do when I drive around dressed. How could I say no to that offer, I dressed up and had my male clothes on top and I dropped her off and removed my male clothes and put on make- up that for me is only a foundation, blush and lipstick.
When I drive I usally don't get out of the car, I know most of you here are way past this stage. I do take some small risks and found a quit gas station and checked the air pressure and add some air to a tire. Not to many people around and it's already dark and it felt great to feel the wind up the skirt. I was just driving around enjoying being dressed and now comes the bitter, I feel the urge to go to the washroom, I could usally hold it but I have to hold it for at least an hour and a half. I don't have the confidence or pass in anyway to ask for a washroom key at a gas station or walk into a plaza and use a public washroom. I'm holding it but it's taking away from my enjoyment, and sitting there in the car now is bringing on the tiredness of the day and I don't want to get changed to go to the washroom. Half an hour before I have to pick her up I get changed in a coffee shop parking lot and go to the washroom and buy coffees and a donut for my wife.
Here comes more bitter. She gets in the car and asked me why I was in male mode and wanted to see how the new dress looked on me and wanted to see how I look when I go on my drives fully dressed. I told her I figured that she was tired and because we were only an half hour away from home she didn't want me to stop and get changed and that she wanted to go straight home.
She threw me a line from a few years back when we were going to a park a few hours away, I asked her at the time if I could fully dress for the drive. She was ok with it but for some reason because she was there I felt vounable because if someone recognized my car and it was only me they would have to second look, but with her there and they recognize her they are sure to know that it's me beside her.
She told me because of that incident that I didn't want her to participate and make her part of my dressing, even after everything she does for me. At this point I figured that she must be tierd, and I always feared that it will take something stupid like this to change a women's point of view and discourage them about the dressing.
I stayed quite the rest of the night and then today I sent her a message telling her that I try not to push the limits, I know where my line in the sand is and try not to cross it, and that I'm at her mercy and appreciate her patients and everything she does for me. I told her its catch 22, if I didn't change last night she probably would have got mad that we would have had to pull over and she was tierd, instead I got changed and I only had her best interest when I changed. She replied with she never seen it that way and maybe she overacted and apologized and blew me some kisses.
From the sweet of a new dress and some free time to drive around, to the bitter of being in a no win situation and being at someone's mercy, and having to be quite not to ruin something that I know is a good thing. Maria is a no win situation, even when i win i lose and having to over think everything. Even when i do something and have someone else's best interest at heart . Sorry had to vent.
, This program can be very confusing sometimes can't it...
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