Do you think I can be passable

[sophiatran465]

Hi everyone, I am just wondering if I am passable. I am 25 years old and I have been crossdressing since 2010. Do you think I am passable ?

DSC01164.jpgDSC01163.jpg

[misschris]

Sophia, YES!!! You are hot...

[Alice_2014_B]

You look very passabble from the pictures, very pretty!

[dolovewell]

Its very hard to tell from just those 2 pics. You are far away from the camera, the quality and lighting isn't great, your face is angled, and your hair is covering up a lot of what could be seen... to me something about your face seems off, I am not sure if its the foundation not being the right skin tone match, but overall it just seems "plastic" to me and off from the rest of your body. Also that outfit would be fine at a club or party but I wouldn't wear it out grocery/clothes shopping or for basic errands.

I have to agree with what some said in this thread. The answer is probably no. I am not saying that to be mean but its very hard for a man to pass as a woman without help(by help I mean horomones, surgery, padding, etc.). We have too much to compensate for. Yes you can use the tools at your disposal like makeup and padding and such to increase your passability but you will never be able to achieve that 100% since there are just some things we can't do anything about. If your overall goal is to pass you are going to have a bad time as that is what you will constantly measure yourself against and you will always have it in the back of your mind. You will never meet the passing standards you put on yourself.

This was the mistake I made when I started, I wanted to pass. And I'd post pics like you would online and ask if I passed and I got a bunch of "yes" answers, some may have been serious but I am guessing most just said yes to be nice. Anyway I took their word at face value and thought I passed, a couple of months went by and I'd go out and public with no problems so I thought I was passing. Then one day I got clocked and called out big time by a group of teenagers and I was crushed. It really hurt my confidence, because I thought that all this time I had been passing in public when in reality it was just people not caring and/or being nice. Unfortunately I got the wrong idea after this happened and thought it was because I wasn't applying my makeup well enough or using higher quality makeup and more flattering clothes with colors that suited my skin tone. So I just ended up buying more expensive makeup and brushes and practiced more makeup application thinking I could pass if I just was really good at it. Yes I got better but I feel like the better I got and the better, more flattering clothes I wore, the more I would notice my flaws. Like when I was 50% passable, I didn't care so much about the 50% part that didn't pass. When I was 90% passable, that 10% really wore me down mentally.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you can pass if you just do this or that. Because in the end, no matter what you do, you probably won't pass. Just do the best you can, control what you can control and not worry what is out of your control.

The day I stopped worrying about passing and just began to focus on being the prettiest woman I could be, is the day where it all became a lot more enjoyable. The stress went away and I was able to not worry anymore.

[Mirya]

This was the mistake I made when I started, I wanted to pass. And I'd post pics like you would online and ask if I passed and I got a bunch of "yes" answers, some may have been serious but I am guessing most just said yes to be nice. Anyway I took their word at face value and thought I passed, a couple of months went by and I'd go out and public with no problems so I thought I was passing. Then one day I got clocked and called out big time by a group of teenagers and I was crushed. It really hurt my confidence, because I thought that all this time I had been passing in public when in reality it was just people not caring and/or being nice.

Sorry that you had to experience that. But thanks for sharing your story, as a lot of people can learn from it.

To all of you, I just want to say that most people, even if they don't think you pass, will still refer to you as "ma'am" or "miss" or "lady" as a courtesy. They do it just to be nice, and to avoid confrontation. Just because people don't publicly out you, doesn't mean that you haven't been clocked. Children and teenagers are more comfortable with expressing their opinions in public, so they are the ones who are most likely to publicly say something when they clock you. But trust me, you've been clocked by many other strangers around you. You don't pass. It's almost impossible without medical intervention. So, as some of the veterans on these forums have shared, don't worry so much about passing. Instead, focus on being presentable, being happy, and being yourself. It is a much healthier approach.

[dolovewell]

Sorry that you had to experience that. But thanks for sharing your story, as a lot of people can learn from it.

To all of you, I just want to say that most people, even if they don't think you pass, will still refer to you as "ma'am" or "miss" or "lady" as a courtesy. They do it just to be nice, and to avoid confrontation. Just because people don't publicly out you, doesn't mean that you haven't been clocked. Children and teenagers are more comfortable with expressing their opinions in public, so they are the ones who are most likely to publicly say something when they clock you. But trust me, you've been clocked by many other strangers around you. You don't pass. It's almost impossible without medical intervention. So, as some of the veterans on these forums have shared, don't worry so much about passing. Instead, focus on being presentable, being happy, and being yourself. It is a much healthier approach.

I think that is the danger of online crossdressing communities.

This board skews older. So most of the ladies here are straight shooters and don't really care about passing, know its nearly impossible, and just say to not worry about it. Which is how it should be.

I have participated in crossdressing communities online where the audience skews much, much younger. Mostly young adults between the ages of 18-29. The userbase in those communities seem to be a lot more obsessed with passing. So when someone posts a pic of themselves and asks if they pass, and you tell them no, the rest of the userbase will get mad at you for being mean and hurtful. So they all tell the user she passes, when in reality, she doesn't, but they are just doing it to hugbox. I think that is toxic. Better to be honest with them upfront so they don't get crushed harder when they finally get clocked in public. It's not mean and hurtful to tell someone they don't pass, I think thats the right thing to do.

Unfortunately, I think younger crossdressing ladies care more about validation and hearing what they want to hear, than hearing the truth. They post a pic of themselves asking if they pass, not to get honest feedback, but hoping they get a conga line of yes answers to get the validation they are desperately seeking. We live in an age of social media where women constantly post pictures of themselves on Facebook/Instagram to get likes and validation, and younger crossdressers are trying to get on that train themselves. It's dangerous.

[Lily Catherine]

I have participated in crossdressing communities online where the audience skews much, much younger. Mostly young adults between the ages of 18-29. The userbase in those communities seem to be a lot more obsessed with passing. So when someone posts a pic of themselves and asks if they pass, and you tell them no, the rest of the userbase will get mad at you for being mean and hurtful.

(...)

We live in an age of social media where women constantly post pictures of themselves on Facebook/Instagram to get likes and validation, and younger crossdressers are trying to get on that train themselves. It's dangerous.

"Runaway train, never going back; wrong way on a one-way track." - Soul Asylum, Runaway Train

I've been an observer/lurker at best in the younger community (folks around my age), and I very much prefer being here. Especially more visually and fetishistically oriented sites - they don't resonate as much with me as this site. I won't deny that I've appreciated and still appreciate validation in a space where honest feedback remains valued. This said, anything anchored on likes and validation is inherently unstable, like a house built upon sand. Better a harsh truth than a comfortable lie I guess; I don't consider "You don't pass" remotely harsh in the first place. Which is interesting since "You're passable" seems quite a high compliment in these circles, perhaps because of its asymptotic status (as I mentioned elsewhere, like a Holy Grail). It's an indubitably beautiful illusion - but an illusion nonetheless. This 'passing' notion feels increasingly overrated, but I wouldn't dare say the same of blending: getting noticed and standing out like a sore thumb - spotlight effect notwithstanding - is a lot more real than being consistently and genuinely mistaken for a cis person of the opposite biological sex.

[Teresa]

Sophia,
You are having fun with your dressing and that shows, as for the perennial question of passing, you have to go on and ask in what circumstances ?

You can dress how you like in your own home, maybe your partner or even the neighbours see you but not as you do . If you went into town dressed as you are you would certainly get a lot of attention and yes you may be passable but what as ? You may be very extrovert and not care but I would think if that were the case you wouldn't be asking this question.

I will admit I'm possibly like most and have asked the same question, but when it's behind closed doors it's not really relevant , I don't do wig or makeup around the house but going out has to be a different matter. When I finally did step out the door to meet other members of the TG community as a social group the thoughts and questions of passing or not faded away. My makeup may not be perfect or my wig the perfect choice but that doesn't matter as much as satisfying an inner feeling. I love shopping and sorting my outfits but it's balanced toward how a GG might look if she went out in similar circumstances . They sometimes get things wrong so we're bound to and that's part of the enjoyment and challenge.
The one thing I value more than anything is getting genuine compliments from GGs and you don't get those until you've been out into the World and tried your best.

You can dress to try and pass as anything, it depends what you want from your CDing, you're well over half my age so you can let rip and enjoy what CDing can bring !

[Kelly Whelan]

Yes you can pass - if you dress to be passable. To me you are dressing to be the sexiest crossdesser at the ball rather than someone that no one will suspect is really a man underneath. I'll bet you can do the latter.

I hope I haven't frightened you off with your first post, but you have what 99% of CDs wish they had: a slight frame, and their youth back.

[Lana Mae]

You look great. Passable, maybe. I do not mean to discourage you! If you dress like the genetic females in your area, you will "blend in" and no one will give you a second glance. If you dress to stand out, you will get more than a second glance. This is when people notice that your hands are too big and all the other subtle clues that mean you are a man. It is up to you as to how you present but passing, real passing is rare. Best wishes going forward Hugs LanaMae

[phylis anne]

very nice ,and as others have said dress to pass for your situation the pic is great if you were headed out to a party or club ,but say at the mall you would really stand out

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sophia, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are Home.

From what we can see you look like a very lovely young lady...

[Maria 60]

WOW! Can you show me the picture of the dude who wants to know if he's passable.Lol just kidding you look amazing.

[Periwinkle]

Woah! You look amazing. I love what you did with your hair, and your figure looks great in that outfit. Definitely passable.

[Kate Simmons]

Looks good to me Hon. Go for it.

[Tracy Irving]

If, to pass, you intend to wear women's clothing and blend into your surrounding then, in most instances, you will not pass. You will have a better chance of passing at a club or special event. Either way, you look great!

[Jenniferathome]

Sophia, I am going to share with you what I share with everyone who asks this: passing as a genetic woman is a virtual impossibility for any cross dresser. "Passing" would require winning the genetic lottery AND THEN you still have voice and experience problems. So, what can you do?

1) Dress for the time, location and event.
2) Forget about passing, it doesn't matter.
3) Be confident. You have every right to be anywhere as anyone else.

[Princess Chantal]

Sophia,
Put a lot of weight on Jennifer's words, She is on the money.
Let me share one evening experience, I attended the monthly crossdressing social club meeting where many attendees were saying that I have an easier time out in public due to me being "passable". They were pointing out how my outfit could often be seen on any woman, many of my mannerisms (such as how I was sitting on the couch) were quite feminine, and how I don't show any signs of nervousness. Well an hour later I was enjoying a coffee at my favourite coffee shop when a woman, who could obviously be seen as not being in the clear state of mind (thanks to most probably from sniffing glue or paint), stumbled into the store and set her eyes on me. She started preaching to me that I am sinning and should not be dressing like a woman as it is against god, and blah blah...... So if I am not fooling someone who was walking into tables and chairs, how could I possibly fool someone with a clear mind.

[Aceswild7557]

Hell yes

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Hell yes

[Ressie]

More passable than most. The size of your hands might possibly give you away but who's looking at them?

[Leslie Langford]

Yes, definitely, but unless you're planning to go to a Hawaiian luau, I'd lose the massive flower in your hair...it's a bit over-the-top for everyday wear.

[Kelly Whelan]

I agree on your point about politics. Just because we are a minority and an often frowned upon minority, society assumes we have the same politics as other minorities. We dress like women so we must have the same views on international politics, minimum wage and high income taxation as the disabled. If you don't fit that narrative of all oppressed minorities battling it out side by side, then you are a problem to those claiming to help you. I haven't been following the Caitlin Jenner story but I believe she said she copped more flak for coming out as a republican than as transgendered.

I think this is the start of a much larger discussion which I don't think this forum was specifically designed for

[docrobbysherry]

I have a Vietnamese T friend. We go out together a lot. Her dressed, me in drab. To caucasion folks she passes most of the time. When we go to heavily Vietnam/Asian areas, she doesn't!

[Mirya]

sophiatran465, are you Asian? Going by your username and photo, I'd guess that you are? I'm Asian also, and I do not think you pass. Us Asians are really good at clocking each other, since we're more familiar with Asian faces. You have a thin frame like most Asians, but you still have a masculine Asian face. (which is why I'm guessing that you're not showing much of your face in this photo).

I used to identify as a CD before I realized I'm TS, so I used to hang around a lot of CD friends. They all told me I passed, but I always got clocked when I went to areas with predominantly Asian people. Even when I didn't get clocked right away, I still often got clocked when people saw me up close. I wasn't until after months of HRT, months of private voice lessons with a professional voice instructor, months of living full-time, and yes, even FFS surgery, that I can really and truly pass. Even then, my height sometimes invites closer inspection, and maybe people will suspect something. (I'm 5' 7", which is tall for Asian girls).

So I totally agree with Jenniferathome. Her advice is very good.

[sophiatran465]

sophiatran465, are you Asian? Going by your username and photo, I'd guess that you are? I'm Asian also, and I do not think you pass. Us Asians are really good at clocking each other, since we're more familiar with Asian faces. You have a thin frame like most Asians, but you still have a masculine Asian face. (which is why I'm guessing that you're not showing much of your face in this photo).

I used to identify as a CD before I realized I'm TS, so I used to hang around a lot of CD friends. They all told me I passed, but I always got clocked when I went to areas with predominantly Asian people. Even when I didn't get clocked right away, I still often got clocked when people saw me up close. I wasn't until after months of HRT, months of private voice lessons with a professional voice instructor, months of living full-time, and yes, even FFS surgery, that I can really and truly pass. Even then, my height sometimes invites closer inspection, and maybe people will suspect something. (I'm 5' 7", which is tall for Asian girls).

So I totally agree with Jenniferathome. Her advice is very good.

Hi, yes I am asian too. I am vietnamese.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Woah! You look amazing. I love what you did with your hair, and your figure looks great in that outfit. Definitely passable.

Thanks, I love this hairstyle too. I took these pics real quick before i headed out to the club with my boyfriend.